“De mortuis nil nisi bonum.”

http://onthewaytodying.com/when-your-abuser-or-abandoner-dies-how-to-cope/

When Your Abuser or Abandoner Dies: How to Cope
by Paula McCann

“Don’t speak ill of the dead.”

I’m sure you’ve heard that saying at some point in your life. I’ve heard it for decades and wondered where that phrase came from. I found the origins of this saying date back to Roman times. In Latin the phrase is: “De mortuis nil nisi bonum.” People used to believe if you said bad things about someone who died it would cause their spirit to come back and haunt you.

It’s time for a new saying and a new way of talking and thinking about this aspect of death.

If the person who abandoned you or abused you dies, you get to speak ill of them. You get to speak the truth about what they did to you, what pain they caused you, and how it changed you.

The question for victims of abuse or abandonment is always this: who do you feel safe talking to?

Paula McCann is an Elder Law attorney, estate planner, and probate litigator practicing law in Vermont and Colorado. If you would like to contact Paula directly, you can email her at her law office in Vermont (pmccann@mmgvtlaw.com) or call her office at (802) 855-8060.