Soul Food

I tell myself that pursuing my artistic dreams feeds me and this is an important form of soul food. In this crazy world it's crucial to nourish my soul. This is why I play in the jams, this is why I write. I ask myself, what is most important in my life? Will I nurture and grow it, and keep it alive? I need not be Mozart in order to play music and I need not be Julia Child to play in my kitchen. I wouldn't expect that of anyone. So I won't put that kind of burden on myself.

At the jams things are often chaotic and not at all predictable. Sound volumes shift burying some, accentuating others, some hosts get drunk or stoned losing track of who plays next. Some musicians thrive on the chaos and others are exasperated by it and some jam hosts have much better leadership qualities than others. One friend said for him the chaos of the jam is a microcosm of the chaos of his day-to-day life and he finds it refreshing to practice coping with whatever flies at him. I try to tame my level of expectation before I go to the jam and remember I'm there to be brave and to learn, and it's often really fun! Some nights at the jam I look around and it's magical. We're all playing music and people are dancing. There's color, light and sound and we're all one joyous sonic love cluster moving like happy bugs. Hey, The Sonic Love Clusters could be a band name!

When I hit a wrong note I often laugh. I am a beginner so I have many awkward and inexperienced notes flying out of me! My fingers sometimes jump ahead, or switch keys dancing their own way. At first I thought everyone would banish me from the universe or drop down dead if I landed on a wrong note. You're convinced it's the worst possible thing but if you immediately correct it, you realize it's not so criminal after all, it's actually kinda funny and besides, life goes on. The notes vanish. It's not like you have to step over the pile of them on your way home.