Anger

I have been angry for eight weeks. Sometimes this happens when I'm in transmit mode. I also tend to have allergies in Spring, so I enjoy drinking coffee and I have to take an albuterol inhaler for my asthma. Both albuterol and caffeine tend to make me angry as a side effect. So I am trying not to have more than one cup a day and not take my inhaler more than absolutely necessary.

Being bipolar isn't so different than being diabetic in that I need to constantly take my readings and monitor my mood levels and adjust accordingly. Call it being super sensitive. Call it being extraordinarily sensitive. So if I'm sleep-deprived, over-caffeinated, stressed, or emotionally over-stimulated, I'm bound to react to things three times more dramatically than I usually do. Maybe being so sensitive is a blessing. I am determined to convince myself it is so.

I remember as a kid having emotional meltdowns when I watched movies. Movies are way too stimulating for me, I rarely watch them now. But last night we watched a fabulous British detective drama and I was so riled up by it that I had a mini meltdown. I recognized what was happening and went right to bed. I immediately fell asleep. When I woke up this morning, I was restored.