God help me while I am painting when my head is a pile of devils dancing with snakes. When it happens, I just turn on the radio news shows. They're a better source of food than my devils which are just picking at emotional scabs and lighting garbage cans on fire, making me think I must be doing something wrong. Or that I am all wrong! I cherish the times when my thoughts breeze through like cross ventilation. I happily paint as insights pop in and then fade, resolving themselves. No devils, no snakes. But without the torment I'll sometimes dance away and not paint at all.
Painting is not about grasping for ideal situations but about walking in the dark, feeling one's way. I used to think this is what brought on the devils and snakes, or what might make the devils and snakes go away, but no. They come and go; either way, I paint.
Hey Em,
ReplyDeleteThat's very brave of you, describing the devils dancing with snakes. . . I don't have those kind of concrete images when I'm in pain, just vague feelings of discontent. Thankfully, my body chemistry seems to welcome frequent infusions of water and decaf coffee with lots of milk. So it seems we find out what we all need, and take it -- esp. now in our true adult years (or 2nd, 3rd, 4th childhoods!). ANyhoo, lots of love to you, my sister walker-and-dancer-in-the-dark! Love, Lauren