Glasgow Poet John Nolan's Police Log

from the Rochester Times of New Hampshire

Click here and look for the Rochester Police Log.

2:55 p.m. — There is a neighbor dispute in Walmart. One party is in electrical and the other in sporting goods.

9:15 p.m. — A black vehicle pulls a child on a sled down Lafayette Street. The child falls off and the sled goes under a truck. Police are on the spot pretty quickly, but black vehicles, juveniles and sleds have vanished.

2:25 p.m. — Graffiti has arrived on a Wakefield Street building.

12:12 p.m. — St. Mary's Church reports the theft of their baby Jesus statue.

12:16 p.m. — James D. Lehoux, 38, of 3 Henry Ave., Sanford, Maine, is charged with three counts of theft by unauthorized taking.

12:43 p.m. — A gray, double-pawed tabby cat has been found on Estes Road.

3:30 p.m. — The public works sidewalk snow blower machine has apparently clunked a vehicle on Lafayette Street. A "verbal disagreement," sometimes known as a blazing row, is in progress with a citizen.

8:14 p.m. — A Pleasant Street man reports the presence of a crazy uncle. Police find everything fine when they get there.

9:51 a.m. — Two tires have been slashed on Pleasant Street.

8:33 p.m. — Near Frisbie there's a carcass in the middle of the street, Magoo says it's a deer or biggish dog, an officer investigates, when his report's complete, there's just a piece of cardboard on the log.

2:30 a.m. — Completely blocking Lowell Street there is a mighty limb, forty nine needs forty six to come and assist him.

10:07 a.m. — A large branch hangs menacingly over Crockett Street.

7:45 p.m. — Yelling and banging breaks out in a Sunset Arms hallway.

9:17 p.m. — The log records a large tree on Salmon Falls Road. It is so big, it stumps an officer and he leaves it for a different branch of city government.

4:37 p.m. — A Pine Street man asserts his wife, from whom he is not quite divorced, has taken and sold his vehicle. He is advised to take the matter to civil court.

5:25 p.m. — A mysterious set of keys has wound up in the same River Street yard where a mysterious wallet was found last week.

6:16 p.m. — A 16-year-old runaway juvenile is taken from the library into protective custody.

2:29 a.m. — A suspicious person is reassessed as a newspaper deliverer.

10:38 p.m. — On Pickering Road a woman is hit in the face and has her hair pulled by her mother-in-law.

3:56 p.m. — On Milton Road, there is a large white bird stuck to the ground, frozen into a puddle, in fact. Its legs are damaged and good-hearted police arrange for it to go to the Wildlife Refuge in York, Maine.

4:18 p.m. — A lady's ex-boyfriend threatens death to her and her friends and predicts that if she gets a restraining order against him, "it will be the last thing you ever do." Police travel to Lafayette Street and issue a restraining order.

6:53 p.m. — On Wakefield Street, a man in a knitted hat, bearing two bags and possibly a skinful of drink, reportedly has the look of someone who "might want to relieve himself."

11:20 p.m. — Friendly's is closed but, oops, staff have forgotten to lock the door. In comes a large, intoxicated and disheveled man to cause trouble. Plus, his pants are falling down.

10:06 a.m. — A caller asks that school children are spared the sight of a dead kitty on Rochester Hill Road.

9:46 a.m. — A woman walks her dog around, spots lots of condoms on the ground, at Pickering Pond, and a car's there, with folks who might be partly bare.