Mark Bittner

From Stage Fright
by Mick Berry and Michael R. Edelstein

MARK BITTNER Born in 1951 in Vancouver, Washington. Mark graduated from high school and spent four months in Europe hitchhiking and taking trains, then moved to Seattle and spent three years learning music. He moved to Berkeley, California, worked as a street singer and ended up in North Beach in San Francisco, spending fifteen years on the streets studying Eastern religions, history, Italian, guitar, and clarinet.

In 1988, he took a job as the caretaker of a house. Two years later he spotted four parrots nearby. Eventually the flock grew to 26, and he was in love. Making friends and learning their ways, in 1996 he began a book, The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill (Harmony Books, 2004). Mark starred in a documentary of the same title, released in 2005, written and directed by filmmaker Judy Irving. Mark and Judy are now married and living in the gardens of Telegraph Hill. Mark is currently working on a book about his years on the street.

Mick B: What was the first time you were were nervous in front of a crowd?

Mark B: Well, that would be all the way back in eighth grade. I was in this little four-piece band, and, uh . . . terrified! I used to have a real problem with stage fright, but not much anymore.

Mick B: If you don’t have a problem anymore, can you attribute that to anything?

Mark B: Well, for one thing, I think I’ve matured. But when I was doing music, I always felt that I was doing something that I shouldn’t be doing. I worked hard at it, and I got to be okay. But I always had to force myself to pick up my guitar — and I always figured a “real” musician had to force himself to stop. So when you feel like you’re not really doing what you should be doing, you get nervous about it.

Another part of it was wanting to be a star. When you want to be a star, you’re into it for sort of an ego reason, and that will make you nervous, too. You really worry about how you’re going over.

Mick B: You said, you were terrified when you first started performing in eighth grade. What were your thoughts about being terrified?

Mark B: I think being nervous on stage comes from two things. For one, you’re worried about your ego — how you’re coming across, and whether people are liking you.

The other thing has to do with being on stage and having all of that energy directed at you. If you’re not selfish with it, if you’re feeding it back to the audience, and it’s continually going back and forth, you shouldn’t be nervous.

I always use the moment that I’m on stage to try to focus. And if people are giving you a lot of energy, it makes it easier to focus. And when you’re focused, and you’ve gotten rid of all the crap that’s in your mind, then you can give people back something that’s more real.

Mick B: And the crap in your mind would be?

Mark B: Oh, just all kinds of neurotic thoughts. You might start thinking that person over there doesn’t like you, if you spot someone particular in the audience. And it’s purely paranoia. Most people want to like the performer on stage, and I think most performers even know that. But once you’re in the midst of performing, it’s hard to deal with that thought if you’ve got it going already.