The-r-mom-meter

My mother insisted on taking our temperature with anal thermometers. It was like okay you think you're sick, bend over, I'm taking your temperature. My brother was eleven when the ambulance came. They had to take him away on a stretcher so the thermometer wouldn't break. She said "I lost it" She had lost it up his ass. The whole neighborhood was out in the street watching the ambulance pull in and park in our driveway, asking what happened.