Beth Brownsberger Mader: Why I Still Exercise

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Some readers may remember that over a year ago I was hit by a car; my collarbone was pulverized, surgically repaired, and, other than physical therapy, I was unable to do much of anything for six months. Others of you may recall that I have a heart/fainting disorder that over the last five years has worsened to the point where I can fall over without warning.

I’d always been athletic. Not a huge jock or anything, but an avid runner, hiker, and as I’ve written about quite a lot, I am still big into the outdoors. And quite often I spent time engaging in my athletic activities alone. For me, there was nothing like a long, solo run through the mountains, or a 3-hour hike in the desert with the dog, or even a power swim a hundred yards offshore in the lake. Before I was diagnosed with bipolar & PTSD, I figured out that exercise helps me keep my head a little bit straighter, clearer, steady. Post-diagnosis, I am even more aware of the good regular exercise does for me.

But now I’ve had to adjust. And fortunately, one thing I’ve learned from having bipolar is how to do that.

I’ve never really been a gym rat. I always preferred to watch the landscape go by as my body moved through it, and as I listened to my own breath. I also rarely had a designated “workout” save for training for road races. However, now, because safety requires me to stay within reach of immediate help, and only just recently will my arm allow me to do any weight resistance, I have been going to the small gym at my apartment complex. I am surprised that I am beginning to enjoy it, and to see the benefits of maintaining an exercise program no matter what:

It’s been a very stressful summer at my house. Spending an hour in the gym helps me blow off steam.
This past week, I had a “blip” in moods: one day of depression, then 3 days of mild hypomania. I was able to help calm the hypomania by working out. It was a challenge to not over-do it, of course. I feel proud of myself that I “got the wiggles out”, and still kept it under control.
Developing a designated workout (a plan) helps me set goals, and achieve them. I learn what’s reasonable to do and stick to that. I also know what needs to be done, and then I get out of there.
Going to the gym 3 times/week gives me a routine, a place to be, a knowledge that I am doing this specific thing, at this specific time, at this specific place for the benefit of my body and my mind.
I like feeling stronger, more flexible, better balanced, and I know I’m sleeping better.
I’m listening to music again. I learned how to do the headphone-streaming-free-music-like-a-millennial-thing while working out. It’s a whole new world of discovery, and it pumps up my workouts.

I can still go for my walks with the dog, locally. Longer stuff, more remote stuff, I go with my husband or a friend. The point is that being physical, despite my disabilities, remains critical to my wellness in body and mind.

And that I am forever adaptable when it comes to taking care of me and my mental health management needs.

About the author: Beth Brownsberger Mader
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Beth Brownsberger Mader
Beth Brownsberger Mader was diagnosed with bipolar type II disorder and C-PTSD in 2004 at age 38 after decades of confusion and pain. In the past decade, she has studied the two disorders, worked in peer support, and sought a path to her own wellness. Today Beth works as a freelance writer and artist. She became a contributing editor/featured columnist for BP Magazine in 2007 and blogger for bpHope in 2011. Beth holds a B.A. from Colorado College and M.F.A. from University of Denver. Beth’s primary area of interest is the relationship between bipolar and PTSD. She is currently working on a memoir and building a body of artwork focusing on her recovery. Check out Beth's blog at: http://www.bessiebandaidrinkiewater.wordpress.com