In transmit-mode everything is lush and amazing. I wake early and turn on the radio. Music or words it's all amazing. I can't keep up with my thoughts and sensations. Today I can't wait to swim (later) after I have exhausted myself writing. "It's lonely no matter what, I tell my husband. Either you can't keep up with my misery, or you can't keep up with my joy. "The gift is FOR YOU" he reminds me. He's right. "But my mother taught me to give it all away. That it was all for her," I say. As artist Ken Maryanski said to me years ago, "Change your beliefs."
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