Are You Living in a Puddle?

The most effective self-care is not about what we do for ourselves, but how we are being with ourselves — the kind of company we keep inside, the flavor of the conversation we conduct with ourselves inside our own minds.

The truth is that it is only when we feel well taken care of, when our feelings have been properly heard and cared for, that we have adequate caring resources to offer others. When our well is full, we are our most selfless and can fully experience our goodness and our inherent desire to be of service.

The ability and willingness to empathize with our own experience is precisely what allows us to empathize with the experience of others.

Paradoxically, taking care of ourselves is what makes us unselfish. On the other hand, when we reject or ignore ourselves, we cannot be truly compassionate with others, certainly not to our full capacity, as a large part of our heart is closed off and inaccessible. This is not to say that we cannot be kind human beings without being kind to ourselves, but without the ability to relate lovingly with our own experience, we’re severed from the real depth of our loving potential. It’s as if we are living in a puddle when we could have access to the ocean.

-Nancy Colier from this Article

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inviting-monkey-tea/201712/are-you-your-own-side