Sylvia or It Takes a Village

I had a big visit with Sylvia and we sat on the swinging bench in front of POND VIEW very early this morning. I asked her about church. She LOVES to go but it seems that she continually sabotages herself. She explained that she gets a knot in her stomach before it's time to go. "I even lay out my clothes the night before," she explained.
"I look forward to it all week. There's no place else that I go."
"I'll go with you," I offered.
"No," she said.
She told me about going very late to church a few weeks ago and being locked out. She saw someone and began knocking on the door to be let in for the last 7 minutes, and then hiding in the back.
I said "you're sabotaging yourself. It's social anxiety."
"But I don't talk to anyone." she said
It's still social anxiety, I explained.
"I know because I have it too. I get a HUGE STOMACH ache after/ during every Prevention Coalition Meeting---and I LOVED everyone. It's the same for me at family gatherings and any GROUPS."

We all LOVE SYLVIA. My fear is that she isolates herself and then her inner commanding voice of her mother WINS over the Sylvia that we love. Again I speak from a similar experience. Sylvia and I had the same childhood but different setting/ ethnicity/ generation but in many ways we are twins separated at birth.

We chatted a long time and had laughs. We plan to go to Saint Teresa's Thrift Store together they are only open 2 hours a week. My friend Deb runs it and she ADORES Sylvia and doesn't charge her more than a dollar or two for a boatload of food and clothes. (As it should be!) Deb understands that she is doing God's work. Sometimes I go just to watch Deb in action. She knows how to put everyone at ease with LOVE.

Sylvia looked good and maybe we can have her over here to our picnic table again...with her dog. Our dogs love each other too. My social anxiety vanishes when I entertain outside at my picnic table in the jungle of weeds and trees. Father Dennis tries to come over for tea once a year to the picnic table (usually in July) and we discuss the neighborhood. In years past I invited our Mayor Lisa, Linda P, Lisa C, Chief O, Captain L, for a cold lunch to discuss the neighborhood. Most of them were able to show up! It was a courageous move and we hope to do it again. I truly believe if we can share food and music and community goals we can do anything. This is what the locals have taught me.

My career has picked up. I made a logo for Jamie Sullivan Shaw's Meats, and other illustrations, writing, rehearsing and performing. I am feeling HOPEFUL again.