Michael Stahl

I began breaking bad cycles of behavior. I stopped drinking, redoubled my efforts in therapy, worked out at a gym six days a week, improved my diet, and pulled back on dating to work on myself before opening up to another person. It was part of a larger plan. I have a history of self-soothing my anxiety with booze, food, and, sometimes, women. Emotional chaos is my baseline norm, so I tend to make rash decisions without considering the later consequences to my state of mind. It’s getting drunk to reduce stress, but instead guaranteeing a hangover when I’d planned on a productive work day, which, in turn, increases stress. It’s eating unhealthy comfort foods and then feeling anger at my body when I look in the mirror. It’s climbing into bed with a near stranger, feeling vulnerable with them, and then experiencing inextricable disappointment when a relationship doesn’t bloom.
-Michael Stahl