Neighbor Nancy

"There's half a squirrel on the sidewalk in front of our house," I said to my husband last night just before falling asleep, "I forgot to tell you. I am worried Romeo-dog will chomp it and I'll have to pull it out of his mouth."

Today my pal Nancy who lives down the street emailed me. "I have 3 pairs of sweatpants to give you." Nancy is 6 feet tall. I am five feet and a half but I never say no. "I'll be right over," I wrote back.

My husband went into the yard and grabbed a long stick and handed it to me. "For the squirrel!" 

"Thank you," I said smiling.

The squirrel had already been half eaten by critters. Bones were exposed and the skin was gone. I used the stick to golf-swing it into the street. With any luck it will get flattened and dried to squirrel-jerky and be less dangerous to snacking dogs.

When I knocked on Nancy's door I heard the sound of vacuuming. "Come in," she said. I looked down and there was a silver disk moving across the floor.

"That's my new vacuum, I got it for Christmas."

"Does he have a name?"

"I call him Robo." The disk exited the room. I heard a crash. "Oh he always knocks over my stuff.  I lost the remote control. Can you help me find it?"

"Sure," I said, scanning the room. How do you stop a remote control vacuum with no remote? "If you don't find it what will you do, shoot it?"

"Is this it?" I said handing her a thin plastic device.

"Where did you find it?"

"Right here on the table, next to the cookie tins."

"Thanks. Would you like to see the upstairs?"

"Sure."

"I'll be moving soon because I'm too tall for the slanted ceilings," she said. We climbed the narrow back stairs to her bedroom and I could see why she was walking into the eaves. "If you move your bed against this wall you won't smack into the slant."

"But where would I put the dresser?"

 "I think it'll fit over there," I said, using my hip to measure the height.

Nancy pointed to her bed. "My mother bought me this thinking she was buying a big pink blanket with a bunny." We both laughed. "'Do you know what that is," I asked her, "that's a magazine full of naked ladies,' She had no idea. I don't care, it's warm and nobody sees it."