“I was going to die, sooner or later, whether or not I had even
spoken myself. My silences had not protected me. Your silences will not
protect you.... What are the words you do not yet have? What are the
tyrannies you swallow day by day and attempt to make your own, until you
will sicken and die of them, still in silence? We have been socialized
to respect fear more than our own need for language."
I began to
ask each time: "What's the worst that could happen to me if I tell this
truth?" Unlike women in other countries, our breaking silence is
unlikely to have us jailed, "disappeared" or run off the road at night.
Our speaking out will irritate some people, get us called bitchy or
hypersensitive and disrupt some dinner parties. And then our speaking
out will permit other women to speak, until laws are changed and lives
are saved and the world is altered forever.
Next time, ask:
What's the worst that will happen? Then push yourself a little further
than you dare. Once you start to speak, people will yell at you. They
will interrupt you, put you down and suggest it's personal. And the
world won't end.
And the speaking will get easier and easier. And
you will find you have fallen in love with your own vision, which you
may never have realized you had. And you will lose some friends and
lovers, and realize you don't miss them. And new ones will find you and
cherish you. And you will still flirt and paint your nails, dress up and
party, because, as I think Emma Goldman said, "If I can't dance, I
don't want to be part of your revolution." And at last you'll know with
surpassing certainty that only one thing is more frightening than
speaking your truth. And that is not speaking.”
―
Audre Lorde
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