For introverts, acting or making music isn’t about the spotlight. It’s about finally expressing our rich inner landscape in a meaningful way.

 Article

The Connection Between Introversion and Control

There are a number of reasons why introverts might feel out of control in daily interactions: 

• We long for depth rather than breadth. Introverts would rather plunge into a weighty, meaningful conversation with one person than canvas an entire room of potential connections. But, unfortunately, that’s not how house parties or professional networking events work. 
• We prefer to slow-cook our responses. There’s perhaps nothing more aversive to an introvert than being rushed into speaking simply to fill the silence, as what tumbles out under these conditions is likely to misrepresent us. 
• We often overthink things. What was that micro-expression that crossed the listener’s face? Did they notice the pause that was barely a crack (but felt like a chasm)? Such are the perils of everyday exchange. Too many in close succession, and introverts need a recovery nap. (For highly sensitive introverts, multiply this tenfold.)

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• Even if you love performing, once you start, the anticipation leading up to the event might make you green around the gills. When I had not yet started doing karaoke on the regular, I still had a mean fight-or-flight response before heading to the front of a room and dislodging a mic from its cradle. However, you might decide, as I did, that the initial apprehension is well worth it for the eventual payoff. Also, with practice, it gets easier over time, as it did for me.
• Be honest with people in advance about what they can expect from you. For instance, if you have bandmates and you know it’s healthiest for you to switch off after a performance instead of socializing, give them a heads-up in a moment of calm downtime — not after a show when you’re burnt out and in danger of becoming irritable.
• Post-performance, do something comforting to decompress. You do you, of course, but I’ll have a hot shower, pull on a soft, oversized sweater, burn a votive candle, and drink some grapefruit rosé. Preferably, all in the comfort of my introvert sanctuary.