“That sadness—the sadness of loss—is a different flavor than the
sadness of reckoning. The sadness of reckoning feels visceral and angry
and tinged with violence. It feels healable, somehow, with revenge or
justice.
But the sadness of a lost childhood feels like yearning,
impossible desire. It feels like a hollow, insatiable hunger.
I’d spent
my life telling myself I didn’t need a mommy or a daddy. But now I was
beginning to realize that this hunger isn’t childish—it is a universal,
primal need. We all want to be taken care of, and that’s okay. The woman
who appears to me when I meditate, in her soft, baggy clothes—she isn’t
quite the same as a parent, and she never will be. But she takes me
into her arms and whispers, “I want to love you.” I lean in and let
her.”
―
Stephanie Foo,
What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma page 231
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