Friday, March 31, 2023

You will discover that if you give YOURSELF what you need . . .

The chores will get done but they should never come first unless you want them to. You come first! I think it was Joyce Carol Oates who said when she gets her writing done first she lets herself vacuum as a reward! I love that.
 
 I get very grumpy if chores come ahead of my time. Our time may look invisible to others and even to ourselves but we know it when we don't have it -- that space to rest and breathe and sip coffee and yes, listen to the birds. 
 
You will discover that if you give YOURSELF what you need it's almost a joy to do those chores. Your brain has been fulfilled and you celebrate by washing the dishes and the clothes. Trust me! 
 
EXPERIMENT for a while and I bet you will tell me that I am correct. My exception is ROMEO pup. I will walk him first because that is good for both of us although he is willing to wait. He has the yard meanwhile.

Radio Classique

Our regular WCRB classical music is having their Spring fundraiser so I am listening to Radio Classique and swooning when they speak French! https://www.radioclassique.fr/direct-radio/

Head Case by Alexis Orgera & Ryan Mihaly’s book, B-Flat Clarinet Fingering Chart

 Rick Bursky has excellent recommendations

Tearing up the Intersection

I love it. We have the street closed off again. Our intersection, a 4 way stop with 4 cop cars guarding as the construction team digs holes. One of the people wearing a yellow hard a hat is female.

Julia Child Six Foot Two

 Pin on Julia Child

Tyler Smith

 I worked with Tyler Smith and he was the best art director I ever worked with because he had an eye, he trusted me more than I trusted me, and he was not an egomaniac fuss pot like so many people are.

RI NEWS

Guy who designed R.I.’s ‘Wave’ plate isn’t impressed by possible replacements

“It’s sort of like clip art,” said Tyler Smith, who designed the iconic plate said. “That’s what all those things made me think of.”

PROVIDENCE – Tyler Smith gets to see his work every time he gets on the road in Rhode Island: He designed the iconic “Wave” license plate.

He does not like any of the five finalists that could replace it.

“It’s sort of like clip art,” Smith said. “That’s what all those things made me think of. Someone clipped a little lighthouse and put a lighthouse in.”

The state unveiled five finalists for the next standard license plate in Rhode Island on Monday, and opened it up to voting by the public. The state hasn’t updated its place since Smith’s design was rolled out in the mid-1990s. Many people were unimpressed by the options to replace it, and took to social media to critique them. Some asked why the state couldn’t just keep the “Wave” plate, which Smith designed two and a half decades ago.



“I get a lot of feedback that people love the wave plate,” Smith said. “It’s got a lot of accolades.”

A RISD graduate and artistic director, Smith came up with a design that echoed a famous Japanese design of a breaking wave, while taking up the whole plate as a canvas. Then-Gov. Lincoln Almond asked him whether they could do the wave breaking, so you could see the foam.

“I said, well, you know, Governor, all due respect, that’s a cartoon,” Smith recalled. “That becomes a cartoon. It’s not like an icon or a logo.”

Almond agreed. And this one wasn’t a contest; it was an announcement from the state in 1996. Here is your new plate.

The plate was a little unusual, Smith said, but once people got used to it, they loved it. The design succeeds because it left some to the imagination: It wasn’t so much of a wave but a symbol of a wave. It looks best on a low-numbered plate, with three or four digits, Smith said. That abstraction is something that the new designs unveiled Monday are missing. Smith said they were heavy-handed.



“Instead of being something abstract, they’re trying to do literal things like lighthouses and stuff like that,” Smith said. “It’s just a little more interesting if you can sort of suggest something, rather than picturing it literally.”

Smith said the one with the bridge at the bottom and italic font on top was “not bad,” but didn’t need the lighthouse in the bottom left corner.

Smith submitted two designs of his own for this latest contest. He worked together with graphic designer Terri Morris to implement the designs. One of his is a refresh of his iconic design.

“It symbolizes, rather than depicts it,” Smith said.

But he was not chosen as a finalist.

He lives in Tiverton, so he has his own Wave plates. When he has to turn it in for the winner, he plans on keeping his Waves as a keepsake.

A good editor may spot when something is missing; a bad editor tries to tell you what to put there. MARY LEE SETTLE

From my close observation of writers...

From my close observation of writers…they fall into two groups: 1) those who bleed copiously and visibly at any bad review, and 2) those who bleed copiously and secretly at any bad review. ISAAC ASIMOV 

I Cook therefore I am

This morning I am making German Potato Salad in my Instant pot Idaho potatoes, onions, Adobo, mustard. vinegar +olive oil pinch of salt+sugar +pickle juice. So good. I have made this recipe for 45 years. It came with my Presto Pressure Cooker recipe book, 45 years ago. I made it yesterday with my neighbor but e ate it all up. It cooks in 5 minutes and tastes fantastic after it cools in the fridge.

I like to cook early in the day because when I am tired & grouchy later in the day I will have a place to land with delicious leftovers.

I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival. — Audre Lorde

My muscles have been screaming at bedtime ever since Wednesday when I spent hours trimming brush and lopping saplings. Last night I took ibuprofen and it took the pain away.

acetaminophen and ibuprofen (Tylenol Advil)

Do you know the difference between acetaminophen and ibuprofen? Or when to use which? We can help.
Acetaminophen is often known as Tylenol or other brand names. It is classified as a pain reliever (analgesic) and fever reducer (antipyretic).
Ibuprofen is often known by its given name, but you may also know it as Advil or Motrin. It is classified as a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID). Other members of this drug class include aspirin and naproxen (Aleve).
As you may have guessed from the descriptions above, acetaminophen is best used for fever, aches and pains, but will not be very helpful if the pain is due to inflammation. Ibuprofen is more helpful for these symptoms when inflammation is the cause. Inflammation examples include menstrual cramps and arthritis.

Thursday, March 30, 2023

Thursday, Trash Day, is my Favorite day of the week

I'm not sure why but I am comforted by the sound of my trash and recycling being picked up at 7AM. It's not even 8 AM and we've accomplished so much.

As I was dozing off to sleep last night I decided I should add leftover cooked sweet potato, cooked millet and leftover garlic olive spinach pie guts to the sourdough rye oat corn wheat mixture. 

This morning I woke with courage and energy and I did it. I rolled up my sleeves and combined the massive bucket of dough. 

I just baked 14 loaves of it this morning. It worked out really well. Yum!

Moodcycle Baking and Cooking

It's worth having a freezer because when I am in transmit mode I am baking 14 loaves and vats of chili and soup. When I am in receive I do not care so I defrost the soups and stews and breads and make hard boiled eggs. It works out well. Embrace it.

Crazy Good Soup

I had frozen leftover lentil soup and frozen leftover cabbage soup and frozen leftover cilantro hummus and a quart of leftover steaming water from the sweet potatoes cooked yesterday in the pressure cooker. Defrosted and combined it is an amazing soup.

J. Krishnamurti

A real religious man has no conflict whatsoever within his own being; you may belong, or you may call yourself a sanyasi, a monk, a religious man and be burning inwardly with desire, with sexual appetites and therefore in conflict. Then you are no longer moral. So that is the problem. You understand? The problem is so vast, so complex, so interrelated with every other problem, you cannot just take one problem and try to resolve it, it's impossible. Every problem is related to the other problems.

So this complex crisis must be met with a mind and a heart that is entirely different, that is capable of meeting this vastness of existence not in terms of India or Hinduism or any of those absurd divisions - even according to the hippies - it must be met anew with a mind that is extraordinarily free. So that is our question, that's our problem."

 J. Krishnamurti
Public Talk 1
New Delhi, India - 12 November 1969

Crazy Good Bread

My latest breads have had cooked sweet potato and cooked millet  added along with oats rye corn and sourdough wheat. Today I added spinach and olive and onion garlic too!

Spring Ideas

Our YMCA owns the community garden and now we're thinking about fun ways to use it. Along with growing vegetables we could have a pizza party with home made grilled pizzas on the hardwood fires.  We could have acoustic music too. I make excellent pizza dough and sauce and would be glad to show people how its done. We could also involve the library & police department as they are next door. And invite the dog officer Kristy to bring hounds that need homes. I call that a party.

Sitting round in candlelight or firelight, people start to talk about how they are feeling

I have noticed that when all the lights are on, people tend to talk about what they are doing – their outer lives. Sitting round in candlelight or firelight, people start to talk about how they are feeling – their inner lives. They speak subjectively, they argue less, there are longer pauses. To sit alone without any electric light is curiously creative. I have my best ideas at dawn or at nightfall, but not if I switch on the lights – then I start thinking about projects, deadlines, demands, and the shadows and shapes of the house become objects, not suggestions, things that need to done, not a background to thought.

JEANETTE WINTERSON

And what happens if you trust the reader? All the devices of distrust fall away, Verlyn Klinkenborg

La Marchesa Luisa Casati, eccentric patroness of the arts and socialite, legendary muse, and one of the most luminescent figures of the twentieth century. (In a fountain costume by Paul Poiret, 1910s)

 

Wednesday, March 29, 2023

Cranberry and Pistachio Biscotti

Ingredients

  • 2 c.

    whole wheat flour

  • 1/2 c.

    cornmeal

  • 1/2 tsp.

    baking powder

  • 1 tsp.

    kosher salt

  • 1 c.

    sugar

  • 2

    large eggs

  • 2 tsp.

    pure vanilla extract

  • 2 tsp.

    orange zest, finely grated

  • 1 c.

    shelled pistachios

  • 1 c.

    dried cranberries

Directions

    1. Step 1 Heat oven to 350°F. Line baking sheets with parchment paper. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, cornmeal, baking powder, and salt.
    2. Step 2 Using an electric mixer, sugar, eggs, vanilla, and orange zest in a large bowl. Gradually add flour mixture, mixing until fully incorporated (the dough will be very stiff). Fold in pistachios and cranberries.
    3. Step 3 Divide dough into 6 portions and, with floured hands, roll each portion into a 11⁄2-in.-thick log (about 6 in. long). Place crosswise on the prepared baking sheets and slightly flatten the tops. Bake, rotating the positions of the pans halfway through, until light golden brown and tops begin to crack, 30 to 40 minutes. Let logs cool 15 minutes.
    4. Step 4 Using a serrated knife, cut logs on a slight diagonal into 1⁄4-in.-thick slices. Arrange slices on the same sheets in a single layer and bake until light golden brown, 10 to 12 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack to cool.

Spring is Here

I just started the process of lopping down saplings cleaning up trash in my big overgrown yard and I picked up a pile of soda cans and beer bottles hidden under the forsythia bush next to the fence.  It's a huge project but a journey of a 1,000 miles began today. 

I spoke to the neighboring landlord and all of the automotive motorcycle nonsense is finally gone from the rental garages. They've all been evicted. After years of people revving motorcycle engines at all hours, dumping used motor oil, and conducting illicit drug & automotive businesses he finally saw the light. It only took 25 years.

We celebrated our clean yard and parking lot with our first grilled burgers of the season. And three people who we'd never seen before showed up and started taking apart a car as a tenant fed electrical cords out of his bedroom window. Have to laugh! Luckily the landlord shut them down.

I stepped out back before bed and six neighborhood kids were posing at my back steps with a brand new Polaroid. It was adorable.

Invented in 1936 by Robert H. Keaton, a resident of San Francisco, California and a self-proclaimed inventor, this rare vintage music typewriter lets you type sheet music. Photo by Marcin Wichary


 

Friend Poaching, it's a thing.

If you’ve ever lost a friend due to friend-poaching, don’t hold anger against anyone. Just take a deep breath and let it pass. “You may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone’s face. But, there’s a third option: you can just let it go. And only when you do that is it really gone and you can move forward.” source

Mayor Lisa


POLITICS

Woonsocket Mayor Lisa Baldelli-Hunt weighing a run for Congress. What we know.Woonsocket's once and future mayor, Lisa Baldelli-Hunt, is running unopposed to regain her seat and supporting candidates to defeat the City Council members who impeached her.

 Tom Mooney
The Providence Journal

WOONSOCKET — Woonsocket Mayor Lisa Baldelli-Hunt says she is weighing a possible run for Rhode Island's First Congressional District seat soon to be vacated by Rep. David Cicilline.

"I have not made a decision as of yet, but have been in conversations with folks, including my family" whom she said were supportive of the idea.

Baldelli-Hunt has three grown children, ages 25, 26, and 33. 

She says, however, she has to also weigh "what's in the interest of Woonsocket," and is in that process of consideration now.

"I don't have a definitive date as to when" she will make up her mind about running.

Cicilline has said he will leave the House of Representative on June 1 to become the new head of the Rhode Island Foundation.

Six people have so far thrown their hats in the ring for the seat. They are: Providence City Council member John Goncalves, Lt. Gov. Sabina Matos, state Sen. Sandra Cano, former state Commerce Corporation staffer Nicholas Autiello, former Republican congressional candidate Allen Waters and state Rep. Nathan Biah.

 

Advertising Parents

I'm not going to advertise myself anymore. How I am clever and I love to bake and I will make you dinner and wash all of the dishes and vacuum your living room. I'm not going to sell myself to you anymore.

My parents worked in midtown Madison Ave advertising. They hosted clients every weekend and every holiday. They did photo shoots in our kitchen and dining room. 

We were all tax write offs.

My mother loved her Kitchen Aid dishwasher and three VOLVO's, renovated country house, more than us. 

The only time she cried was during sappy movies or when the VOLVO salesman dealer delivered the Volvo she ordered in the wrong shade of blue! 

Not when we were beat up at school

 or ostracized by our 3rd grade teacher, abandoned by our father

We were props.

 Strangers. 

And now they both are dead. 

And we are holding the bag of ashes.

Adrienne Rich; from The Dream of a Common Language; From the Dead.

I dreamed I called you on the telephone to say: Be kinder to yourself but you were sick and would not answer. The waste of my love goes on this way trying to save you from yourself.

— Adrienne Rich; from The Dream of a Common Language; From the Dead.

Superstitions of Rural Life

Finding blood in milk or cows producing no milk at all would often result from poor hygiene or disease, but folk typically footed the blame at the work of a witch, using spells to steal milk’s goodness and make it impossible to churn into butter. The standard countercharm was for a farmer to plunge a red-hot poker into a churn.

Milk sours in thundery weather. To counter this, many farmers placed thunderstones on their windowsills. These were pieces of flint or fossil that farmers found in fields. Many believed these fell from the sky. Others perceived them as the remnants of ancient elf battle-axes. Whatever their origin, they contained the power that farmers needed to protect against all kinds of menacing witchcraft.

https://merl.reading.ac.uk/blog/2020/10/superstitious-countryside/

Poets are the Word Gourmets

 This is why I love reading prose written by poets.

If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. Lao Tzu

I might pay for that with the silent treatment or a cold reception when I returned home.

On the other hand, when I would call home from a trip, I remember feeling like I was in trouble. I’d made his life more difficult, and I might pay for that with the silent treatment or a cold reception when I returned home. I didn’t feel missed as a person, I felt missed as staff. My invisible labor was made painfully visible when I left the house. I was needed back in my post. Article

Tuesday, March 28, 2023

Positive Works With Freda Ramey

https://99threefm.com/positive-works-with-freda-ramey/

Cormac McCarthy's Venomous Fiction

“If there is an occupational hazard to writing, it's drinking.” ― Cormac McCarthy

Cormac McCarthy's Venomous Fiction

Date: April 19, 1992, Sunday, Late Edition - Final
Byline: By Richard B. Woodward;
Lead:

For many years he had no walls to hang anything on. When he heard the news about his MacArthur, he was living in a motel in Knoxville, Tenn. Such accommodations have been his home so routinely that he has learned to travel with a high-watt light bulb in a lens case to assure better illumination for reading and writing. In 1982 he bought a tiny, whitewashed stone cottage behind a shopping center in El Paso. But he wouldn't take me inside. Renovation, which began a few years ago, has stopped for lack of funds. "It's barely habitable," he says. He cuts his own hair, eats his meals off a hot plate or in cafeterias and does his wash at the Laundromat.

McCarthy estimates that he owns about 7,000 books, nearly all of them in storage lockers. "He has more intellectual interests than anyone I've ever met," says the director Richard Pearce, who tracked down McCarthy in 1974 and remains one of his few "artistic" friends. Pearce asked him to write the screenplay for "The Gardener's Son," a television drama about the murder of a South Carolina mill owner in the 1870's by a disturbed boy with a wooden leg. In typical McCarthy style, the amputation of the boy's leg and his slow execution by hanging are the moments from the show that linger in the mind.

McCarthy has never shown interest in a steady job, a trait that seems to have annoyed both his ex-wives. "We lived in total poverty," says the second, Annie DeLisle, now a restaurateur in Florida. For nearly eight years they lived in a dairy barn outside Knoxville. "We were bathing in the lake," she says with some nostalgia. "Someone would call up and offer him $2,000 to come speak at a university about his books. And he would tell them that everything he had to say was there on the page. So we would eat beans for another week."

McCarthy would rather talk about rattlesnakes, molecular computers, country music, Wittgenstein -- anything -- than himself or his books. "Of all the subjects I'm interested in, it would be extremely difficult to find one I wasn't," he growls. "Writing is way, way down at the bottom of the list."

His hostility to the literary world seems both genuine ("teaching writing is a hustle") and a tactic to screen out distractions. At the MacArthur reunions he spends his time with scientists, like the physicist Murray Gell-Mann and the whale biologist Roger Payne, rather than other writers. One of the few he acknowledges having known at all was the novelist and ecological crusader Edward Abbey. Shortly before Abbey's death in 1989, they discussed a covert operation to reintroduce the wolf to southern Arizona.

McCarthy's silence about himself has spawned a host of legends about his background and whereabouts. Esquire magazine recently printed a list of rumors, including one that had him living under an oil derrick. For many years the sum of hard-core information about his early life could be found in an author's note to his first novel, "The Orchard Keeper," published in 1965. It stated that he was born in Rhode Island in 1933; grew up outside Knoxville; attended parochial schools; entered the University of Tennessee, which he dropped out of; joined the Air Force in 1953 for four years; returned to the university, which he dropped out of again, and began to write novels in 1959. Add the publication dates of his books and awards, the marriages and divorces, a son born in 1962 and the move to the Southwest in 1974, and the relevant facts of his biography are complete.

The oldest son of an eminent lawyer, formerly with the Tennessee Valley Authority, McCarthy is Charles Jr., with five brothers and sisters. Cormac, the Gaelic equivalent of Charles, was an old family nickname bestowed on his father by Irish aunts.

It seems to have been a comfortable upbringing that bears no resemblance to the wretched lives of his characters. The large white house of his youth had acreage and woods nearby, and was staffed with maids. "We were considered rich because all the people around us were living in one- or two-room shacks," he says. What went on in these shacks, and in Knoxville's nether world, seems to have fueled his imagination more than anything that happened inside his own family. Only his novel "Suttree," which has a paralyzing father-son conflict, seems strongly autobiographical.

"I was not what they had in mind," McCarthy says of childhood discord with his parents. "I felt early on I wasn't going to be a respectable citizen. I hated school from the day I set foot in it." Pressed to explain his sense of alienation, he has an odd moment of heated reflection. "I remember in grammar school the teacher asked if anyone had any hobbies. I was the only one with any hobbies, and I had every hobby there was. There was no hobby I didn't have, name anything, no matter how esoteric, I had found it and dabbled in it. I could have given everyone a hobby and still had 40 or 50 to take home." WRITING AND READING seem to be the only interests that the teen-age McCarthy never considered. Not until he was about 23, during his second quarrel with schooling, did he discover literature. To kill the tedium of the Air Force, which sent him to Alaska, he began reading in the barracks. "I read a lot of books very quickly," he says, vague about his self-administered syllabus.

McCarthy's style owes much to Faulkner's -- in its recondite vocabulary, punctuation, portentous rhetoric, use of dialect and concrete sense of the world -- a debt McCarthy doesn't dispute. "The ugly fact is books are made out of books," he says. "The novel depends for its life on the novels that have been written." His list of those whom he calls the "good writers" -- Melville, Dostoyevsky, Faulkner -- precludes anyone who doesn't "deal with issues of life and death." Proust and Henry James don't make the cut. "I don't understand them," he says. "To me, that's not literature. A lot of writers who are considered good I consider strange."

"The Orchard Keeper," however Faulknerian in its themes, characters, language and structure, is no pastiche. The story of a boy and two old men who weave in and out of his young life, it has a gnarliness and a gloom all its own. Set in the hill country of Tennessee, the allusive narrative memorializes, without a trace of sentimentality, a vanishing way of life in the woods. An affection for coon hounds binds the fate of the characters, who wander unaware of any kinship. The boy never learns that a decomposing body he sees in a leafy pit may be his father.

McCarthy began the book in college and finished it in Chicago, where he worked part time in an auto-parts warehouse. "I never had any doubts about my abilities," he says. "I knew I could write. I just had to figure out how to eat while doing this." In 1961 he married Lee Holleman, whom he had met at college; they had a son, Cullen (now an architecture student at Princeton), and quickly divorced, the yet-unpublished writer taking off for Asheville, N.C., and New Orleans. Asked if he had ever paid alimony, McCarthy snorts. "With what?" He recalls his expulsion from a $40-a-month room in the French Quarter for nonpayment of rent.

After three years of writing, he packed off the manuscript to Random House -- "it was the only publisher I had heard of." Eventually it reached the desk of the legendary Albert Erskine, who had been Faulkner's last editor as well as the sponsor for "Under the Volcano" by Malcolm Lowry and "The Invisible Man" by Ralph Ellison. Erskine recognized McCarthy as a writer of the same caliber and, in the sort of relationship that scarcely exists anymore in American publishing, edited him for the next 20 years. "There is a father-son feeling," says Erskine, despite the fact, as he sheepishly admits, that "we never sold any of his books."

For years McCarthy seems to have subsisted on awards money he earned for "The Orchard Keeper" -- including grants from the American Academy of Arts and Letters, the William Faulkner Foundation and the Rockefeller Foundation. Some of these funds went toward a trip to Europe in 1967, where he met DeLisle, an English pop singer, who became his second wife. They settled for many months on the island of Ibiza in the Mediterranean, where he wrote "Outer Dark," published in 1968, a twisted Nativity story about a girl's search for her baby, the product of incest with her brother. At the end of their independent wanderings through the rural South the brother witnesses, in one of McCarthy's most appalling scenes, the death of his child at the hands of three mysterious killers around a campfire: "Holme saw the blade wink in the light like a long cat's eye slant and malevolent and a dark smile erupted on the child's throat and went all broken down the front of it. The child made no sound. It hung there with its one eye glazing over like a wet stone and the black blood pumping down its naked belly."

"Child of God," published in 1973 after he and DeLisle returned to Tennessee, tested new extremes. The main character, Lester Ballard -- a mass murderer and necrophiliac -- lives with his victims in a series of underground caves. He is based on newspaper reports of such a figure in Sevier County, Tenn. Somehow, McCarthy finds compassion for and humor in Ballard, while never asking the reader to forgive his crimes. No social or psychological theory is offered that might explain him away.

In a long review of the book in The New Yorker, Robert Coles called McCarthy a "novelist of religious feeling," comparing him with the Greek dramatists and medieval moralists. And in a prescient observation he noted the novelist's "stubborn refusal to bend his writing to the literary and intellectual demands of our era," calling him a writer "whose fate is to be relatively unknown and often misinterpreted."

"MOST OF MY FRIENDS FROM those days are dead," McCarthy says. We are sitting in a bar in Juarez, discussing "Suttree," his longest, funniest book, a celebration of the crazies and ne'er-do-wells he knew in Knoxville's dirty bars and poolrooms. McCarthy doesn't drink anymore -- he quit 16 years ago in El Paso, with one of his young girlfriends -- and "Suttree" reads like a farewell to that life. "The friends I do have are simply those who quit drinking," he says. "If there is an occupational hazard to writing, it's drinking."

Written over about 20 years and published in 1979, "Suttree" has a sensitive and mature protagonist, unlike any other in McCarthy's work, who ekes out a living on a houseboat, fishing in the polluted city river, in defiance of his stern, successful father. A literary conceit -- part Stephen Daedalus, part Prince Hal -- he is also McCarthy, the willful outcast. Many of the brawlers and drunkards in the book are his former real-life companions. "I was always attracted to people who enjoyed a perilous life style," he says. Residents of the city are said to compete to find themselves in the text, which has displaced "A Death in the Family" by James Agee as Knoxville's novel.

McCarthy began "Blood Meridian" after he had moved to the Southwest, without DeLisle. "He always thought he would write the great American western," says a still-smarting DeLisle, who typed "Suttree" for him -- "twice, all 800 pages." Against all odds, they remain friends. If "Suttree" strives to be "Ulysses," "Blood Meridian" has distinct echoes of "Moby-Dick," McCarthy's favorite book. A mad hairless giant named Judge Holden makes florid speeches not unlike Captain Ahab's. Based on historical events in the Southwest in 1849-50 (McCarthy learned Spanish to research it), the book follows the life of a mythic character called "the kid" as he rides around with John Glanton, who was the leader of a ferocious gang of scalp hunters. The collision between the inflated prose of the 19th-century novel and nasty reality gives "Blood Meridian" its strange, hellish character. It may be the bloodiest book since "The Iliad."

"I've always been interested in the Southwest," McCarthy says blandly. "There isn't a place in the world you can go where they don't know about cowboys and Indians and the myth of the West."

More profoundly, the book explores the nature of evil and the allure of violence. Page after page, it presents the regular, and often senseless, slaughter that went on among white, Hispanic and Indian groups. There are no heroes in this vision of the American frontier.

"There's no such thing as life without bloodshed," McCarthy says philosophically. "I think the notion that the species can be improved in some way, that everyone could live in harmony, is a really dangerous idea. Those who are afflicted with this notion are the first ones to give up their souls, their freedom. Your desire that it be that way will enslave you and make your life vacuous."

This tooth-and-claw view of reality would seem not to accept the largesse of philanthropies. Then again, McCarthy is no typical reactionary. Like Flannery O'Conner, he sides with the misfits and anachronisms of modern life against "progress." His play, "The Stonemason," written a few years ago and scheduled to be performed this fall at the Arena Stage in Washington, is based on a Southern black family he worked with for many months. The breakdown of the family in the play mirrors the recent disappearance of stoneworking as a craft.

"Stacking up stone is the oldest trade there is," he says, sipping a Coke. "Not even prostitution can come close to its antiquity. It's older than anything, older than fire. And in the last 50 years, with hydraulic cement, it's vanishing. I find that rather interesting."

BY COMPARISON WITH the sonority and carnage of "Blood Meridian," the world of "All the Pretty Horses" is less risky -- repressed but sane. The main character, a teen-ager named John Grady Cole, leaves his home in West Texas in 1949 after the death of his grandfather and during his parents' divorce, convincing his friend Lacey Rawlins they should ride off to Mexico.

Dialogue rather than description predominates, and the comical exchanges between the young men have a bleak music, as though their words had been whittled down by the wind off the desert:

They rode. You ever get ill at ease? said Rawlins. About what? I dont know. About anything. Just ill at ease. Sometimes. If you're someplace you aint supposed to be I guess you'd be ill at ease. Should be anyways. Well suppose you were ill at ease and didnt know why. Would that mean that you might be someplace you wasn't supposed to be and didnt know it? What the hell's wrong with you? I dont know. Nothin. I believe I'll sing. He did.

A linear tale of boyish episodes -- they meet vaqueros, are joined by a hapless companion, break horses on a hacienda and are thrown in jail -- the book has a sustained innocence and a lucidity new in McCarthy's work. There is even a budding love story.

"You haven't come to the end yet," says McCarthy, when asked about the low body count. "This may be nothing but a snare and a delusion to draw you in, thinking that all will be well."

The book is, in fact, the first volume of a trilogy; the third part has existed for more than 10 years as a screenplay. He and Richard Pearce have come close to making the film -- Sean Penn was interested -- but producers always became skittish about the plot, which has as its central relationship John Grady Cole's love for a teen-age Mexican prostitute.

Knopf is revving up the publicity engines for a campaign that they hope will bring McCarthy his overdue recognition. Vintage will reissue "Suttree" and "Blood Meridian" next month, and the rest of his work shortly thereafter. McCarthy, however, won't be making the book-signing circuit. During my visit he was at work in the mornings on Volume 2 of the trilogy, which will require another extended trip through Mexico.

"The great thing about Cormac is that he's in no rush," Pearce says. "He is absolutely at peace with his own rhythms and has complete confidence in his own powers."

In a pool hall one afternoon, a loud and youthful establishment in one of El Paso's ubiquitous malls, McCarthy ignores the video games and rock-and-roll and patiently runs out the table. A skillful player, he was a member of a team at this place, an incongruous setting for a man of his conservative demeanor. But more than one of his friends describes McCarthy as a "chameleon, able to adjust easily to any surroundings and company because he seems so secure in what he will and will not do."

"Everything's interesting," McCarthy says. "I don't think I've been bored in 50 years. I've forgotten what it was like."

He bangs away in his stone house or in motels on an Olivetti manual. "It's a messy business," he says about his novel-building. "You wind up with shoe boxes of scrap paper." He likes computers. "But not to write on." That's about all he will discuss about his process of writing. Who types his final drafts now he doesn't say.

Having saved enough money to leave El Paso, McCarthy may take off again soon, probably for several years in Spain. His son, with whom he has lately re-established a strong bond, is to be married there this year. "Three moves is as good as a fire," he says in praise of homelessness.

The psychic cost of such an independent life, to himself and others, is tough to gauge. Aware that gifted American writers don't have to endure the kind of neglect and hardship that have been his, McCarthy has chosen to be hardheaded about the terms of his success. As he commemorates what is passing from memory -- the lore, people and language of a pre-modern age -- he seems immensely proud to be the kind of writer who has almost ceased to exist.

Urban Gardens https://beta.nsf.gov/news/urban-gardens-are-good-ecosystems-humans

Urban gardens

Virginia Woolf

Dearest,

I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that — everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer.

I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been.

 

Making a List

Making a list of favorite books for Lilly who lives behind me and loves "adventure stories!" I'm reminded of how many books I loved as a child. My mother's narrative was that I couldn't read and she made me read aloud to the psychologist.  This was after my bio dad wrote a letter to us about getting married for the 3rd time. Now as an adult I realize SHE WAS TRAUMATIZED, not me! I kept on reading but I had to read in secret, in my bedroom with the door closed. If she caught me I'd have to dry the dishes or empty the dishwasher. She wanted me someplace where she could CONTROL ME. School was a refuge. When I liked a book she was angry and jealous that she didn't write it. She wasn't even a writer! Meanwhile my Step father  who also had to HIDE TO READ or get up at 5AM to read, was finding me an insomniac reader slipped me books he liked. SOUL ON ICE by ELDRIDGE CLEAVER.

Soul on Ice is a memoir and collection of essays by Eldridge Cleaver. Originally written in Folsom State Prison in 1965, and published three years later in 1968, it is Cleaver's best known writing and remains a seminal work in African-American literature.

Danny Champion of the World by Roald Dahl

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

James and the Giant Peach (all of Dahl)

True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle by Avi

The Witch of Blackbird Pond 

Sounder

The Cay

The Dream Watcher

From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler

The Phantom Tollbooth

Don’t apologize to your family for needing time, space, silence and solitude to write.

 My mother was a librarian and my father was an author, which was the perfect recipe for a chronic storyteller like myself. Growing up, I was lucky to have inherited a narrative tradition from my parents, which has made writing a very natural process for me from a young age. In terms of my genre, it was my experience at the District Attorney’s Office that inspired me to become a crime novelist. At the time, I was reading two or three crime novels a week, but I realized that everyday at work, I was surrounded by characters, dialogue, and an atmosphere that was different than anything I saw on the page with crime fiction. As a prosecutor, I was working directly out of a police precinct, going on ride-alongs with cops, leading in-service trainings, and teaming up on pre-indictment investigations—I felt like I was ready to try my hand at writing a crime novel.

I am a full-time faculty member at Hofstra Law School, so my crime writing is a little catch as catch can. If I have a free day, I try to write all day long. I have a studio that I use just for writing. Otherwise, I’ll write wherever I need to: planes, hotel rooms, the bar at my favorite lunch hangout. 

You’re not a writer if you don’t write. And if you’re going to write, you have to think of yourself as a writer. Sounds simple, but conceiving of yourself as a writer can be an adjustment. There are some perks. Buy yourself a comfortable chair. Create a productive working space. Don’t apologize to your family for needing time, space, silence and solitude to write. It is, after all, your job. But thinking of yourself as a writer also creates responsibilities. You have to write. This is not a hobby. It’s your job. Your identity. Your compulsion. Write every day. If you skip a day, make sure you have a darn good reason, and make sure you don’t skip the next one.

Alafair Burke is the bestselling author of eight novels, including NEVER TELL in the Ellie Hatcher series and the standalone thriller LONG GONE. A former prosecutor, Alafair lives in Manhattan and teaches criminal law and procedure at Hofstra Law School.

 

Photographs

In my family pictures were always more important than the people. To this day. The keeper of the photos was the keeper of the narratives. The wall space was decorated with this propaganda.

In my husband's family everyone is allowed to have their baby pictures and family photos. What was and is precious are the actual relationships conversations shared moments.

Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul. Marcus Aurelius

Monday, March 27, 2023

Writing is the best part of being a writer.

Everyone advises new writers to read, because unless you’re some kind of idiot savant, the only way to write well is to get great writing into your ear and imitate it (whether you realize you’re doing it or not) until you hit stride and launch into your own style. My second piece of advice is more a quality-of-life issue:

Writers will never be happy until they realize that getting published is not a worthy goal. Writing is the best part of being a writer. Getting published gives you moments of happiness, but it’s nothing compared to the extended happiness of writing itself.

When your book is finished and published, there’s a big hole in your life and a lot of pressure to market your book and to already be cranking out the next one. So if you’re lucky enough to be writing something you love, don’t let a longing to finish intrude on your process.

Carol Fisher Saller

They're tearing up the Street

 It's like a holiday having the street blocked off. A vacation from the traffic & noise. I hope they keep it blocked off for a month!

Sitting Outside

While sitting outside this morning writing in my journal, I heard a couple fighting. Then I heard banging and crashing. When I heard yelling GET OUT GET OUT. I went inside to call the police and while I was on hold I saw the wife get in her car and leave. So I hung up.

Amazing Tomato Soup

I made a crazy soup from leftover home made frozen chili soup and defrosted leftover home made cilantro hummus combined with a large can tomato puree and some water. Excellent. My husband said write down what you did, you must make it again. He had two bowls for dinner.

New Face on my Street Today

I just met the new officer guarding the construction on my street. He is my nephews age and looks like
 him too. He said his name was Connor Doyle. I walked to the library to pick up my books and walk 
ROMEO and came home and googled his name. He is amazing.
 

5 planets will align in the night sky this week. Here’s how to see them

Do I need binoculars?

Maybe. Jupiter, Venus and Mars will all be pretty easy to see since they shine brightly, Cooke said. Venus will be one of the brightest things in the sky, and Mars will be hanging out near the moon with a reddish glow. Mercury and Uranus could be trickier to spot, since they will be dimmer. You’ll probably need to grab a pair of binoculars.

The first thing I remember writing was “I’m running away from home” notes. My mother, who was a school teacher, used to grade them and hand them back to me. Writing was a chore throughout high school. The first time I enjoyed it was when I was a college freshman and the instructor not only gave me an “A” for my character sketch, she said we ought to have it published. We never did, but it was the first time anybody had ever said anything good about my writing. There’s a lesson there.

 Nat Segaloff

The keys are in your hand.

The keys are in your hand. You must say too much in writing but it doesn't have to be here or to to me. Get the sludge out on the page. I have filled pages with I have no idea what I'm doing, or I want to cut off my head, or curses. But that's how you get through. Nobody gets hurt and nobody dies. Just write. And be kind to yourself. It IS TERRIFYING. 

 This is why you give yourself an achievable goal or formula that works FOR YOU. For example I will start with a word at 7am or whatever time and each day you add another word. Habit is the MUSE. The only reliable muse that cuts thru the storms of mood and life changing weather and circumstances. BE KIND. 

Family has no idea. They never will. Only other writers/painters/dancers/ sculptors might know. I have very few close friends. I have very few people who understand my life's PULL And each time my writing or painting reaches someone it is glorious bonus. But the first order of business is reaching my own soul. By habit. My own monastery. Does this make sense. (I am an extreme introvert). I am not swayed by popular culture or trends. People exhaust me but I also LOVE THEM. 

You are weaving the rope ladder as you descend upon it. TRUST ME  10,000 invisible hands are outstretched ready to support you and catch you. You may weep but you will be moving through it. Please trust me. 

Yesterday I taught a blind neighbor how to make hard boiled eggs and millet in the instant pot! N lives 7 houses away from me and is delightful and brave and 12 years younger than me. She was raised by her French Canadian father. Her mother ran away and married 3 more times. BIG HUGS. Perhaps she is the sister I wished I had. Or I am the sister she wished she had. I adore her and her father who just turned 76 and lives in the other apartment in the 2 family house. N will be 50 April 16. Her son is 30.

I'm a failed poet. Maybe every novelist wants to write poetry first, finds he can't, and then tries the short story, which is the most demanding form after poetry. And, failing at that, only then does he take up novel writing.

William Faulkner

And now, advice for beginning mystics. Be sober, be intelligent, be educated, rely on the tangible reality as long as you can. Remember that the act of writing is a tiny part of a bigger something. Defend the value of the spiritual experience and if somebody tells you it's an old fashioned notion, laugh loudly and serenely. Adam Zagajewski

Human nature is the same in all places, in all times, in all languages.

I think humans are the most interesting thing I know about. They're inexhaustibly interesting. And I think one of the great beauties of the novel as a form is that it shows us that human nature is the great constant.

Human nature is the same in all places, in all times, in all languages. And that makes it the great subject of any writer's life, just to try and explore this vast ocean of human beings.

SALMAN RUSHDIE

History of the Pressure Cooker

I taught my neighbor Nancy how to use her pressure cooker yesterday.  We made hardboiled eggs and millet. So fun!

The pressure cooker first appeared in 1679 as Papin's Digester, named for its inventor, French-born physicist Denis Papin. The cooker heats water to produce very hot steam which forces the temperature inside the pot as high as 266 °F (130 °C), significantly higher than the maximum heat possible in an ordinary saucepan.

Vischer's pressure cooker was the first designed for home use, and its success led to competition among American and European manufacturers. At the 1939 New York World's Fair, the National Pressure Cooker Company, later renamed National Presto Industries, introduced its own pressure cooker.


Sometimes we are sustained by gossamer thread, spider silk but words are diamonds made from years of crushing stone.

from a letter to a friend.

Sunday, March 26, 2023

More Sourdough Crackers

 Today we made another batch of whole wheat sourdough crackers with sesame bagel toppings. I made a tomato soup to go with them.

Electric Fake Fireplace 1950's

My dentist has one like this in his office lobby mantle and I am obsessed because it creates the right effect but his has aluminum foil shag that twirls to make a crackly sound.

here.

Forget about making things that are understood. I don’t know what Abba means, but I love it. Imagination is your creed; sentimentality and lack of feeling your foe. All art comes from love — love of doing something. JERRY SALTZ

You need to have a desire to tell the story. You need to be personally invested in some way.

 MALCOLM GLADWELL

starting over

Every time I sit down to write, I try to feel that I’m starting over. It’s all new. It’s all fresh, and I’m learning as we go. RITA DOVE

Saturday, March 25, 2023

Sculptor Gar Waterman's Residency in Maui











 

Caserta's Whimpy Skippy Made at Home

https://www.justapinch.com/recipes/side/vegetable/whimpy-skimpy-spinach-pie.html

https://www.cookingchanneltv.com/recipes/wimpy-skippy-3124919#reviewsTop 

https://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/columnist/greatamericanbites/2014/07/31/caserta-pizza-restaurant-providence/13368353/ 

https://futureworldblog.wordpress.com/2013/04/10/rhode-island-food-or-what-the-hell-is-a-wimpy-skippy/ 

Just the video: https://youtu.be/Rhbki8c4rIg

My version has fresh diced garlic and Chianti cooked in and no cheese.

Clown Shoes!

 Crocs Poster by Eclectic Captures - Fine Art America

fooled everyone

I called her Hitler under my breath. I called her the rapist when I spoke about her to my college friends. This was my mother the mask-wearing manipulative narcissist who had fooled everyone even herself along with doctors, psychiatrists, advertising clients, neighbors, & relatives. This was my mother. She would never know the truth because she morphed reality by the moment. And now her daughter & son do the same thing. When Orange Man became the leader of the free world I went bananas. Here was Sonia as President of the United States.

Krishnamurti

I have wandered all over the earth, teacher to teacher to teacher. I have learnt an immense lot, learnt not only from teachers but inwardly – a tremendous lot, seeking truth, moving from this to this to this to this. Suddenly I discover: ‘I had better get back,’ and when I come back to where I began, it is there. I have taken the journey unnecessarily. Krishnamurti

Cobalt Blue Size 11

I found these cobalt blue Croc sandals in the street and washed them in the washing machine. Now I am trying to find them a good home. Meanwhile we bought 8 shirts for Bill at Stanislaus Kostka School's Annual Spring Bazaar.

Manipulative Narcissistic Tribal Bastards

Children have amazing self preservation instincts. I was surrounded by and raised by manipulative narcissistic tribal bastards. This was why I ran away from home. My teachers helped me! And the siblings who stayed behind? They are warped and mangled to this day even thought their parents are long dead. It's a case of Stockholm Syndrome. They aligned with their abusers. It's fascinating actually.

Any experience that touches you, in any particular way, is good.

Any experience that touches you, in any particular way, is good. It can be a horrible experience. I saw a car crash when I was fifteen here in Los Angeles and five people died as a result of it. I arrived at the scene within twenty seconds of hearing the collision. It was the worst mistake I ever made in my life. I didn’t know what I was running into. People had been horribly mangled and decapitated. So for months after, I was shaken. It’s probably the reason I never learned to drive. I was terrified of automobiles for a long time after that but I turned it into a short story called “The Crowd” six or seven years later….  So out of this horror—this really terrible event—you take something that has taught you a certain kind of fear and you pass on to others and say, “This is what the car can do.”

RAY BRADBURY