Sunday, August 30, 2026
Saturday, August 29, 2026
Richard appears to have aged 20 years in two months. He was a tall muscular man in June and now he's a shriveled apple doll on a stick. He's a terrifying sight especially when you realize that it's Richard, that guy who was taking and selling drugs a few months ago. He was going strong until the Feds came and shut down the ring. He lucked out that day and was not caught in the sweep.
It will insist on being told
Sit and quiet yourself. Luxuriate in a certain memory and the details will come. Let the images flow. You’ll be amazed at what will come out on paper. I’m still learning what it is about the past that I want to write. I don’t worry about it. It will emerge. It will insist on being told.
FRANK McCOURT
Friday, August 28, 2026
a poem by David Shumate.
Passing Through a Small Town
Here the highways cross. One heads north. One heads east
and west. On the corner of the square adjacent to the
courthouse a bronze plaque marks the place where two Civil
War generals faced one another and the weaker surrendered.
A few pedestrians pass. A beauty parlor sign blinks. As I turn
to head west, I become the schoolteacher living above the
barber shop. Polishing my shoes each evening. Gazing at the
square below. In time I befriend the waitress at the cafe and
she winks as she pours my coffee. Soon people begin to
talk. And for good reason. I become so distracted I teach my
students that Cleopatra lost her head during the French
Revolution and that Leonardo perfected the railroad at the
height of the Renaissance. One day her former lover returns
from the army and creates a scene at the school. That evening
she confesses she cannot decide between us. But still we spend
one last night together. By the time I pass the grain elevators
on the edge of town I am myself again. The deep scars of love
already beginning to heal.
__________
Passing Through a Small Town by DAVID SHUMATE, from High Water Mark, University of Pittsburgh Press, 2004.
Thursday, August 27, 2026
Stories lightly disguised. If you see yourself here, you should have behaved better.
Motto on the town newspaper header.
Blackridge Massachusetts
In this area using a turn signal is a sign of weakness as if one's masculinity could leak out onto the road with each blink, forever depleting the driver. All the men drive trucks.
The women on the other hand always use their turn signals. Many borrow their husbands trucks or drive Dodge Caravans or Subaru wagons. They do not want to crack them up.
The town of Blackridge has no laws except one. You can't park on the dead end of Ridgefalls Road to visit the water. If you do the dozen suburban Ring cameras are triggered and the residents call the one cop, officer George Mink. He immediately drives down on his police issued Harley Davidson motorcycle to ask what you are doing.
The Blackridge residents are all escapees from nearby cities and fight hard for the illusion that they are in the wilderness. God help you if your dog barks or you put up a fence or hang out your laundry. If you break the illusion of wilderness you are scorned.
Some battles have gone on for generations. The Wilder's turned a paper street beside their house into their driveway, a common practice in a town with no laws. The kids ignored the change but Old Man Wilder would come out in his plaid bathrobe waving his shotgun over his head when he saw them walking up his driveway. They just laughed. The McDugal's claim it's still a real street and the battle is ongoing to this day.
Bovines are a Blessing
"I can't drink milk in a box. No way," says JP Sagahutu, who consumes about four 8-ounce glasses of milk a day. He tries to think of the best adjective to describe the beverage. "I don't know the wording in English, but it's something sacré," he says — using the French word for sacred. Many Rwandans speak the language because the country was a Belgian colony until 1962. Other customers nod in agreement: Milk is holy. In fact, as a sign of respect you must only drink it while sitting down. Bovines are a blessing The sentiment comes from the respect people here have for cows, seen for many generations as providers of sustenance and prosperity. "A very long time ago, there was no currency. To see if someone is rich, they were counting cows. If you have 10 cows, it means you are rich," Sagahutu says. So precious is the cow, that in Rwandan culture, when you want to wish someone well, you say "may you have a cow" — kajirinka in the local language of Kinyarwandan.
https://www.npr.org/2026/08/27/g-s1-139914/milk-rwanda-milk-bar
The Siblings
The siblings were in competition. They both thought travel was a virtue but it was merely a display of money spent. One more stamp on the passport, one more sticker on the suitcase. All for bragging rights. They never noticed anything when they arrived except how good the cocktails tasted. Secretly it was a pain in the ass and they couldn't wait to return and tell everyone where they had been. As if it mattered. As if it changed them. It did neither.
Wednesday, August 26, 2026
She had one of those wearable calculating devices only this one tracked her dreams and recited them back to her upon awakening. It also told her what to cook that day, what to wear, and the best route for today's dog walking. It also told her the weather and which windows were left open when she left the house. It was called her brain.
Tuesday, August 25, 2026
Eva accidentally left her door open yesterday and her big dog Walter wandered into the yard. I figured she was home just being casual. Our dogs ignored him and he ignored our dogs. Later Eva was distraught and breathless jumping outside to tell me her house was wide open all day.
Luckily Walter stood guard, I said.
We were at the beach. Thank God Walter didn't bite anyone, she said, visibly anxious over all that could have happened.
Meanwhile two houses away the contents of the drug house is being emptied and sold out on the sidewalk, I said. They got evicted finally. The local scoundrels have grabbed anything that wasn't nailed down to make a buck, even the fridge and stove!
The landlord had it coming. According to folks who grew up here that house has been a drug house for over 50 years.
I believe it, I said. And took my opportunity to go inside and resume making potato salad. I was glad that we try to take care of each other as neighbors.
Then I heard a scream. I ran back outside and saw a man in a blue shirt running across Eva's yard, Walter chasing him. I phoned the police.
Did you see him? Eva shouted, pale as a ghost, There was a man in my kitchen closet.
I called the cops, I said. We stood there hearing sirens in the distance.
Where's Walter?
He was chasing the man.
Oh my God, she said, holding her head.
I love Gustave Flaubert
I am an obscure and patient pearl-fisherman who dives into the deepest waters and comes up with empty hands and a blue face. Some fatal attraction draws me down into the abysses of thought, down into those innermost recesses which never cease to fascinate the strong. I shall spend my life gazing at the ocean of art, where others voyage or fight; and from time to time I’ll entertain myself by diving for those green and yellow shells that nobody will want. So I shall keep them for myself and cover the walls of my hut with them.
GUSTAVE FLAUBERT
Monday, August 24, 2026
Information is Currency
It can be incredibly draining to deal with a competitive sibling who uses information as a power dynamic. When a sibling deliberately holds back updates about their children, it is often a defensive tactic to control the narrative, prevent comparison, or make their life seem exclusively superior. Bypass the gatekeeper by building direct relationships. Drop the rope!
Sunday, August 23, 2026
He may as well have tacked two gigantic ears on opposite sides of his house because the contents were like the inside of his chaotic brain. He'd lived there since he was a child with all of the family ghosts and traumas. Now the vines climbing over the side of the house were trying to cover his balding head.
The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them -- words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of an understanding ear.
Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are
too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when
you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the
part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place
rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and
empty for their departure.
―
Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption
Writers remember everything...especially the hurts. Strip a writer to the buff, point to the scars, and he'll tell you the story of each small one. From the big ones you get novels. A little talent is a nice thing to have if you want to be a writer, but the only real requirement is the ability to remember the story of every scar. Art consists of the persistence of memory. Stephen King, Misery
the the compulsion to be in control isn't a conscious, rational choice, but one based on deep-seated, unresolved emotional wounds and needs.
As a rule, people who crave control are reacting to their past; to a childhood or adolescence in which they felt that they had little or no control. They're attempting to compensate for this uncomfortable experience by being overly-controlling in their adult lives.
The whole problem with control is that it denies the existence of the unconscious. It assumes that we're all solely rational beings, capable of using the power of our minds to guide every aspect of our existence. The idea of "mind over matter" is erroneous, seeing as how the compulsion to be in control isn't a conscious, rational choice, but one based on deep-seated, unresolved emotional wounds and needs.
Why It's Impossible to be "In Control"
By Marcia Sirota, Author, speaker, coach and MD
The other day, one of my patients described herself as a "control freak," and an unhappy one at that. Certainly, she's not the first person I've worked with who's been frustrated in their attempts to be "in control," but it always saddens me to see someone wasting her time on something that's neither possible nor necessary.
As a rule, people who crave control are reacting to their past; to a childhood or adolescence in which they felt that they had little or no control. They're attempting to compensate for this uncomfortable experience by being overly-controlling in their adult lives.
The problem with control is that it's an unattainable goal. No matter how hard a person might try, nothing can be controlled; not the weather, politics, world financial markets, one's own body and certainly not other people. People are under an illusion when they believe in control, and they risk being deeply disillusioned if they keep on trying to achieve it.
I've noticed that "control freaks" come in two versions: the benign and the malignant. The former are more focused on self-control. They repress their emotions, restrict their food intake and drive themselves toward impossible standards of perfection in their career, hobbies and self-improvement.
The latter group are invested in controlling others. They might choose such ostensibly helpful professions such as psychotherapists, doctors, police or military officers. Alternatively, they might be bullies at their school or workplace, or hyper-controlling in their intimate relationships. Their goal is to have power over the people they're associated with, either personally or professionally. Whether benign or malignant, all these individuals eventually come up against the painful reality that it's futile to try and be in control.
Those who want to control themselves suffer terribly as they become locked in a life-long inner conflict between the part of the psyche that seeks utter control (the super-ego, or internalized parent) and the part that wants to be free (the id, or child within).
Those who seek to control others eventually see that no matter how much they manipulate, coerce, threaten or implore, they can never have absolute control over another person, because even if they imprison the other person's body, they can never imprison their spirit. Also, it should be pointed out that the person being controlled cannot be in control of their responses toward the controller.
Those who are subject to bullying or coercion, even if ordinarily meek and non-confrontational, will eventually tire of being pushed around and will find a way to rebel, whether this is done consciously and directly, by protesting, or indirectly, by being passive-resistant or even passive-aggressive.
Even someone in an abusive relationship who knows that she'll be verbally or physically assaulted if she stands up to her partner will still find it hard to resist acting out against her controller. It's not that they want to be abused, but eventually they become so indignant toward the abuser and so unhappy with their situation that they won't be able to resist the urge to be spiteful. The angry id will out.
The whole problem with control is that it denies the existence of the unconscious. It assumes that we're all solely rational beings, capable of using the power of our minds to guide every aspect of our existence. The idea of "mind over matter" is erroneous, seeing as how the compulsion to be in control isn't a conscious, rational choice, but one based on deep-seated, unresolved emotional wounds and needs.
Those who attempt to control themselves often end up with two types of reactive behaviors: what I call backlash and leakage. Both of these reactions are driven by the child within, who becomes so frustrated and disgusted by the whole exercise that she sabotages it to the best of her abilities.
An example of backlash is when a person who's been on a strict diet begins to binge uncontrollably, regaining any weight that he's lost, plus a few extra pounds. An example of leakage is when a person who prides himself on his impeccable social graces suddenly begins to blurt inappropriately. The "inner boor" has leaked out, replacing the former, more appropriate persona.
Within the psyche of every person, there's a constant battle between the forces of chaos (id) and the forces of control (super-ego). Those of us with a well-developed adult identity can usually manage to maintain a reasonable balance within our personality, being neither overly impulsive nor excessively repressed.
Those who are overly-invested in self-control, however, find themselves swinging between the extremes of rigidity and explosiveness, as the inner conflict ends up being played out in their public behavior. The more the internal forces of control try to make the person buckle under, the more the forces of chaos resist and act out in fury. For those who try to control other people, chronic unsuccessful attempts to bend others to their will can only have one result: intense frustration which will cause them to intensify their attempts at control and will likely result in increased resistance on the part of those being controlled. The controllers may or not succeed in getting others to tow the line, but they'll certainly create a lot of drama and suffering for all parties.
Those who attempt to control themselves will spend their lives see-sawing back and forth between extremes of perfectionism and inappropriate acting out. Their lives will be miserable, both for what they must give up in their attempts to achieve "perfection" and in the personal and social consequences of their backlash and leakage.
Control is impossible, and the past can never be compensated for by present-day actions. It must be faced, grieved, healed and released. Those enamored with the idea of control would do better to see that instead of trying to be "in control," they can make conscious, empowered choices about their lives right now. Making such choices will bring the best possible outcome in all endeavors and relationships, and will demonstrate not only the futility but the irrelevance of trying to be "in control."
He had to keep moving to out pace his demons. He wanted a life of perpetual summer camp, the only joy he ever experienced as a child. It wasn't working. He was getting old and gray haired and the plan was rickety. He continued using drugs and drink at the rate of his teenage years, to try to pep up and be happy and then more to sleep. He tried distracting himself with more vacations to mountains, beaches, and foreign countries. He bought more plates of exotic and rich foods. Nothing helped and nothing stopped him from the next boat plane and wheel, until he died.
Saturday, August 22, 2026
Shoot up, Shoot Out
Every day we pick up dirty needles and clothes on our granite garden stairs. The addicted homeless folks shoot up and shoot out of their clothes.
The living owe it to those who no longer can speak to tell their story for them.
― Czesław Miłosz, The Issa Valley
The Curse
She deprived her child of food, one meal a day as a toddler. His growth was stunted. All because his father had been a fat boy. The mother soon kicked the father out and took all of her rage out on the boy. He was her experimental guinea pig. She deprived him of the alphabet and colorful books to read because she believed some quack about discouraging preschool literacy. Mother and son did not share meals at the table. She bought a case of canned soup and told him his meals were in the pantry. Help yourself, she scowled. I blame the mother for causing her son to shoot himself. She should be jailed but instead she hangs up his handprints on paper plates from nursery school all sentimental having never done such a gesture while he was alive.
Friday, August 21, 2026
History of Hortense
She insisted on stirring the rice counterclockwise by candle light when she visited. And when we went to see her I couldn't believe the outhouse was attached to her home. It stank up the whole place. I remember that it was August and she served us hot oatmeal.
The tide has turned and like a lapsed Catholic everything became the opposite. Now she's all about convenience bad take-out Chinese food gloopy galore and a big TV stuffed with Netflix opposite a couch the size of her house. I don't read, she shouts if you tell her about a book.
She adds cream cheese and bacon to everything and gloms it up with shredded cheese. The worst of it is she thinks she knows everything and she will dive right into your conversations and offer her unfiltered opinion to maintain her illusion of superiority.
Rude and Ungrateful
Criticizing someone's home-cooked food without being asked is widely considered rude and ungrateful, as cooking is an act of time, care, and personal expression. Most agree that unsolicited critiques hurt feelings, while constructive feedback should only be offered gently if the cook specifically asks for your opinion.
Why People Do It
Control and ego: Some people use criticism to feel superior or show off supposed culinary expertise.
Insecurity: Projecting personal anxieties about diet, health, or upbringing onto others.
Habitual negativity: General dissatisfaction that spills over into everyday interactions.
The Critic Should
Pause before speaking: Ask yourself if your comment is kind, necessary, or helpful.
Focus on gratitude: Remember that someone spent time and effort making a meal for you.
Practice neutrality: If you do not like a dish, simply eat what you can or say "thank you" quietly without giving a review.
Keep preferences to yourself: Save specific recipe changes or tweaks for your own kitchen.
Thursday, August 20, 2026
Last night someone walking down the street got shot in our neighborhood. Luckily a passers by gave him a lift to the hospital.
This morning I found three hypodermic needles in the shrubs at my garden stairs. I carefully disposed of them by dropping them in an empty plastic water bottle. Then I started trimming the shrubs to make my garden stairs more visible and less like a cave for hiding.
I went swimming and when I came home I made salmon cakes for the first time and they came out great.
Salmon Burger Inspiration or Cape Cod in a Can
I was swimming and thinking of what I had in the cupboard. 1 can of salmon, eggs, panko and Adobo and a few other things. So when I came home I glanced at a recipe and then jumped into improvisation mode. I used 1 can of salmon, panko breadcrumbs, some leftover brown rice, Adobo seasoning, my homemade cilantro sauce, 1 large red onion minced, 4 eggs, a bloop of mayo, dashes of Worcestershire sauce, Dijon mustard, and I put a small sample in the microwave to taste test. Then I formed patties and fried them in olive oil. After I made all nine, I added 3 chopped green bell peppers and 2 large white onions to the leftover olive oil and sauteed them with Adobo, I added Chianti to deglaze the pan. These were delicious. I will make them again.
The only thing worth writing about is people. People. Human beings. Men and women whose individuality must be created, line by line, insight by insight. If you do not do it, the story is a failure. [...] There is no nobler chore in the universe than holding up the mirror of reality and turning it slightly, so we have a new and different perception of the commonplace, the everyday, the “normal,” the obvious. People are reflected in the glass. The fantasy situation into which you thrust them is the mirror itself. And what we are shown should illuminate and alter our perception of the world around us. Failing that, you have failed totally.
HARLAN ELLISON
Wednesday, August 19, 2026
Your Best Ideas Don’t Come When You’re Trying
Tapping Into the Other Mode of Thinking Where Creativity and Insight Lives.
Dr. Judy Ho Aug 19, 2026 The Shower, the Walk, the 3am Moment
https://drjudyho.substack.com/p/your-best-ideas-dont-come-when-youre
Tuesday, August 18, 2026
I am a writer and my faith in the world of art is intense but not irrational or naïve. Art invites us to take the journey beyond price, beyond costs into bearing witness to the world as it is and as it should be. Art invites us to know beauty and to solicit it from even the most tragic of circumstances. Art reminds us that we belong here. And if we serve, we last. My faith in art rivals my admiration for any other discourse. Its conversation with the public and among its various genres is critical to the understanding of what it means to care deeply and to be human completely. I believe.
TONI MORRISON
Monday, August 17, 2026
Our mother did not like children. She couldn't be bothered. She hired a string of nannies to be the mother and then she could take off on vacation with my step-father. We did not eat together except on holidays with a large crowd or a weekly Sunday crowd.
I now realize how bizarre this was and the secret as to why my siblings are so damaged.
"Your sexy boots."
I walked passed graffiti on the side door of the Chester Street Chinese restaurant. White crayon scrawl on a flat mat metal gray door. "Your, sexy!" I wanted to add an apostrophe in your to correct it or add boots to read, "Your sexy boots."
I love signs and there are two in my neighborhood that I must photograph. Hand written scrawl about where to leave packages resembling an assassins handwriting.
I found a fun article about correcting grammar in graffiti.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/mar/05/ecuador-graffiti-accion-ortografica-quito-grammar
Dream
There were new neighbors from Africa sleeping in body-contoured beds of mud in garages. I spoke to a policeman about it. As we spoke he pointed out that a rat was biting my leg.
Seeing strangers sleeping in mud: You worry about others or feel disconnected from people going through hardships. A dream about a rat biting your leg often symbolizes a hidden worry, a sense of being undermined in your daily progress, or a fear of betrayal from someone close to you. Because the bite targets your leg—the body part that moves you forward—it often reflects an obstacle or anxiety stalling your path.
Being close-knit is not the same as being enmeshed. A close-knit family cares about each other and stays connected, but everyone still has their own space, opinions, and independence. Family members support one another without trying to control each other’s choices. An enmeshed family, on the other hand, has very blurry boundaries. Love and loyalty may depend on doing what the family expects, and saying no can lead to guilt or conflict. In a close-knit family, closeness feels supportive — in an enmeshed family, it can start to feel suffocating.*
Control disguised as love
When a family member treats traditions as non-negotiable, it often stems from a deep emotional need for security, control, or connection. However, rigid demands can create heavy guilt, stress, and resentment among other relatives who feel their own time, autonomy, or changing lives are being ignored. Why They Do It: Fear of change: They view alterations to a routine as a loss of family unity or a personal rejection of their values. Anxiety and nostalgia: The tradition represents a safer, happier past or a specific identity they are desperate to hold onto. Control disguised as love: They may use guilt or obligation to keep everyone orbiting around them.
Josephine "Jo" Nivison Hopper insisted that her husband, Edward Hopper, not use any other female models for the women in his paintings. After they married in 1924, Jo served as his exclusive model and muse for decades, posing for iconic works even into her late 70s.
Sunday, August 16, 2026
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The Table is Sacred
The table is an altar. The table is sacred. When Lucille placed her homemade lasagna on the table people loved it and said so but the Queen Bee had to say, I like more meat and cheese in mine! Luckily David spoke up and said it's perfect this way. I love it. Then hostess Edwina accused Lucille of eating all of the fruit salad. Did you eat all this? Thankfully three other people said, I had some! So Edwina returned to the kitchen and made more. Lucille knew her in-laws had no idea about table manners. They were reinforcing the old patterns of sibling rivalry.
The table is an altar. The table is sacred. When I placed my homemade noodles and pesto on the table people loved it and said so but Queen bee had to say, I like more pesto. But luckily one brother spoke up and said it's perfect this way. I love it. Then the other sister accused me of eating all the spinach salad. Did you eat all this? luckily 3 other people said I had some! So she made more. People have no idea about table manners but the true meaning is they are working out a hierarchy at the table.
You’ve got to sell your heart, your strongest reactions, not the little minor things that only touch you lightly, the little experiences that you might tell at dinner. This is especially true when you begin to write, when you have not yet developed the tricks of interesting people on paper, when you have none of the technique which it takes time to learn. When, in short, you have only your emotions to sell.
F. SCOTT FITZGERALD
Two Dreams
I dreamed I was in New York City and I left my shoes at my previous appointment so I was heading back through Times Square to get them.
Dreaming of losing your shoes often symbolizes a deep sense of vulnerability, instability, or feeling unprepared in your waking life. Because shoes protect our feet and carry us forward, losing them frequently points to anxiety about your current life path, a missed opportunity, or a lost sense of direction.
***
I dreamed I was walking through Times Square in New York City and someone complimented me on my great legs. "I am a swimmer!" I said and kept walking.
Dreaming of your legs being admired generally symbolizes confidence, self-worth, and how you present yourself to the world. Legs in dreams represent your foundation, your life's journey, and your ability to stand strong. Having them admired points to a desire for validation or pride in your personal progress.
Saturday, August 15, 2026
A 5 pound bag of Russet Potatoes
Boil of russet potatoes in a pot of cold water or (using steamer rack and some water in a pressure cooker) keep their skins on. Then either mash them while they are warm and season or let cool and cube and then season. You can add add mayo, mustard, pickle, scallions or red onions, Italian wine vinegar pepper and salt. Or oil and vinegar and favorite herbs and spices. Simply divine.
Theo Stuart, Dog Behaviourist
My love for dogs started many years ago with a Rottweiler called Merlin and Magic, a German Shepherd. Back then, it was all about harsh dog training and ‘correcting’ the dog in order to force it to ‘obey’. Commands were sergeant major-style orders.
How different things are today. With all my subsequent learning and experience, I have proved beyond possible doubt that kind, positive, and force-free methods not only work best, but they ensure we feel comfortable in our relationship with our dog.
I have two dogs now. A recently adopted ex-racing Greyhound and an elderly blind and deaf Labrador. I can’t imagine a life without dogs.
My Dog Behaviour CV
- As an older person. Experience & Empathy from a whole kaleidoscope of life’s ups and downs.
- As a School Teacher. Motivation, Encouragement – and boundaries.
- As a musician. Repetitive practice until I have something note perfect. Persistence and patience.
- As a mother of five children. Insight into ‘parenting’ puppies and dogs.
- As a businesswoman. I have set up and run three businesses. ‘Theo Stewart – Dog Behaviourist’ is a business involving marketing, insurance, accounts, tax, equipment, transport, internet costs, web site and much more.
- As the holder of meetings. A skill carried over into family dog consultations, in person, or online.
- As owner of an introduction agency (before the days of internet dating). Interviewing people whilst putting them at ease; finding out all about them as I now with dogs.
- As a dog owner. Multiple dogs over 55 years.
- As a founder member of INTODogs and member of UK Behaviour and Training Charter, IMDT, VSPDT, graduate of ISCP (International School for Canine Psychology and Behaviour), PPG, Dog Welfare Alliance. Using positive methods backed by Science. Accountable.
- As a ‘crossover’. I followed outdated dominance methods before educating myself.
Theo Stuart, Dog Behaviourist https://www.dogidog.co.uk/#aboutme
What Kind of Family are You?
All families are bureaucracies. If your family were a country, would you call it a democracy? A Dictatorship? We demand transparency, accountability and good governance from our leaders—but what happens inside our own homes? If the family is the first institution we belong to, are our homes truly democratic? Who makes the decisions? Who controls the money? Who gets heard? And can parents be held accountable when they get it wrong?
Stone Bunny
Last night we walked Lulu and Romeo on Gaskill street and Lulu abruptly stopped and stared at a stone bunny in someone's front yard. "That's a stone bunny!" I said laughing at Lulu. It's not a real bunny! Then a real bunny jumped out of the bushes from behind it. The joke was on us.
Spinach and Red Onion Delight
Last night we were in the grocery store and the wide egg noodles jumped into my cart. I was longing for a soothing meal. When I got home I boiled the noodles and chopped a large red onion and added it to my wok with five cloves of garlic chopped fine and I sauteed it all in olive oil. Then I added a pound of (defrosted) frozen leaf cut spinach and stirred in the pound of freshly boiled noodles. I topped it off with Asiago cheese grated by hand. It was so good I ate it for breakfast. I said to my husband, This is lasagna in another form! A lighter form! I will do this again and add mushrooms.
To me, Texas signified strange days, querulous wanderings, bloody fairy
tales, hot, moon-filled nights, earthworms, and unbought flowers. Texas
was women to me: my aunt dying of cancer, my grandmother’s hunchbacked
sister, and Eloisa. All laughing, laughing.
―
The Last of the Menu Girls
― The Last of the Menu Girls
― A Taco Testimony: Meditations on Family, Food and Culture
― NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children
― NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children
― NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children
― NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children
“Darling found that permissive parents don’t actually learn more about their child’s lives. “Kids who go wild and get in trouble mostly have parents who don’t set rules or standards. Their parents are loving and accepting no matter what the kids do. But the kids take the lack of rules as a sign their parents don’t actually care—that their parent doesn’t really want this job of being the parent.” ― Po Bronson, NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children
“In one study, Cummings found that children’s emotional well-being and
security are more affected by the relationship between the parents than
by the direct relationship between the parent and child.”
―
NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children
― Decoding the World
― What Should I Do with My Life?: The True Story of People Who Answered the Ultimate Question
“A calling is not something you know, it's something you grow into,
through trials and mistakes... Attack your fears, rather than shy away
from them. Bring what you do in alignment with who you are...Failure's
hard, but success at the wrong thing can lock you in forever.”
―
What Should I Do with My Life?: The True Story of People Who Answered the Ultimate Question
“From our deepest wounds come our greatest gifts.”
― Po Bronson, What Should I Do with My Life?: The True Story of People Who Answered the Ultimate Question
― NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children
“Some people are born into their passions. Some never get them and don't
care. But I think if you're really struggling to find it - and I think
you have, I mean, you've gone all over the country to find it - it's
almost certainly for a reason. I think the depth of your struggling is
the sign there's something there. Something in you that's trying to get
out. People who don't have passions don't struggle.”
―
― Decoding the World
― What Should I Do with My Life?: The True Story of People Who Answered the Ultimate Question