Beth Brownsberger Mader

Article

I recall a class one day in college when discussion surrounded altruism, and whether it truly exists—the idea that one could give without ever really getting (or needing) anything in return. I vehemently argued that real altruism is hogwash: giving alone always has a return on the investment, even if it is simply the good feeling of knowing one has given. Upon return from the class break, I found a wildflower on my notepad. I asked who left the flower; no one fessed up. Someone was trying to make a point: leaving the flower was supposed to show an altruistic offering. What they failed to understand was that by doing that, they were giving themselves some kind of pat on the back for making the unspoken comment, which only underlined my argument. It built up their own sense of self-esteem.

We give, and, because we are human, we need something back. What is really hard to determine, though, is when we need it from other people, or when we need to rely on ourselves for it.