Keith's Drywall

On my morning walk I met a man in a wheelchair who wanted to meet Romeo. "I used to have a drywall company," he said, pointing to his hat - Keith's Drywall. "Then I fell 3 flights and landed on my head."

"Oh my God, but you're here," I said. I noticed that he was paralyzed on one side.

"Sometimes I wish I had died. I called the ambulance myself."

"Well you're here to tell the tale. My great grandfather fell to his death glazing windows. All his kids wound up in an orphanage. My friend Yvette's husband fell off a ladder and died. But you're alive."

"See this? I am the arm wrestling champion of Rhode Island. Feel this. Strong as an ox. One half of me is Arnold Schwarzenegger and the other half of me is Arnold's pussy." I laughed. "Gotta laugh about myself every day. Laughing is the best medicine."

"Do you work out at home?"

"Yes, I lift weights. 100's, 50's, 25's, 5's, and 1's. Do you watch football?"

"No, but I know there's a big game today."

He smiled. "I'm off to get a paintbrush."

"A paintbrush?"

"For my ham. Honey glazed ham."

"For the game!" We laughed. "My name's Emily."

"My name's Keith, Crazy Keith, see?" He showed me the tattoo of his name on his forearm.

"So next time I see you we'll talk food," I said as we parted.