We treat others the way we treat ourselves. And we treat ourselves the way we were treated — by the people who were large in our early world.

The Voices We Wave Away

On the interior life

Dr. Gabriel Barsawme, LSW

https://gabrielbarsawme.substack.com/p/the-voices-we-wave-away

Writing isn't about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends. In the end, it's about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It's about getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, okay? Getting happy.

― Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft 

The scariest moment is always just before you start.

 ― Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft 

I just trimmed Romeo's nails rewarding him with a morsel of kibble after each nail. He knows the drill. Lulu pup was close by and I clipped a few of her nails too. This is good news since last time I accidentally took off too much on two of Lulu's nails. She hadn't noticed but I saw the two drops of blood and felt terrible. 

Having a puppy watch an older, calm dog get their nails clipped is an excellent, natural way to introduce them to the process. Puppies learn through observation, and seeing a trusted older dog remain calm (or get rewarded) during grooming sets a positive example and reduces anxiety for the new puppy.

Oh, Rats!

New noise when I sat at the breakfast table this morning. Sounded like a fire engine idling. My husband and went outside and looked around. No fire truck. It was our neighbors two rickety air conditioners recently installed in the alley windows. The sound reverberates spoiling the morning silence. I've decided I'd rather think of it as a fire truck than an annoyance. Sounds like I live at a truck stop.

Then after breakfast I heard honking and went out front. Three gigantic turkey vultures holding up traffic including a school bus while nibbling a freshly dead rat in the street directly in front of my house. Happy Friday!

Later in the day I peeked outside and the rat remains were gone except for a small red stain in the road. The vultures had done a great job. And my neighbors told me the landlord is evicting all of the tenants and putting the house on the market. All is well that ends well. 

Now I began to understand art as a kind of black box the reader enters. He enters in one state of mind and exits in another. The writer gets no points just because what's inside the box bears some linear resemblance to "real life" -- he can put whatever he wants in there. What's important is that something undeniable and nontrivial happens to the reader between entry and exit. George Saunders 

To me, the process of writing is just reading what I’ve written and—like running your hand over one of those mod glass stovetops to find where the heat is—looking for where the energy is in the prose, then going in the direction of that. It’s an exercise in being open to whatever is there.

GEORGE SAUNDERS

Your first responsibility is to yourself and to your own goodness of heart. George Saunders

When you read a short story, you come out a little more aware and a little more in love with the world around you. What I want is to have the reader come out just 6 percent more awake to the world. George Saunders

...smile first, then speak. George Saunders

I know this will sound naïve, but I often wonder what America would be like if our national ethos was simply to minimize suffering. Period. To try, every day, to convert our wonderful wealth and national energy into the cessation of suffering wherever we find it. Imagine if that was our national mindset. Well, we can-we must-dream. George Saunders

In the moment of reading, the writer comes up to the surface and the reader comes up to the surface and they kiss, like two fish. That actually does happen. George Saunders

Reading is a form of prayer, a guided meditation that briefly makes us believe we're someone else, disrupting the delusion that we're permanent and at the center of the universe. Suddenly (we're saved!) other people are real again, and we're fond of them. George Saunders

If you bring forth what is within you, it will save you. If you do not bring it forth, it will destroy you. George Saunders

Don't be afraid to be confused. Try to remain permanently confused. Anything is possible. Stay open, forever, so open it hurts, and then open up some more, until the day you die, world without end, amen.

― George Saunders

Be kinder to yourself and then let your kindness flood the world.

 Pema Chödrön

Be the reason someone smiles. Be the reason someone feels loved and believes in the goodness in people.

 ― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart 

Roy T. Bennett, born in 1963, is the author of The Light in the Heart. He enjoys sharing positive thoughts and creative insights that have helped countless people live successful and fulfilling lives. He hopes his writing will empower you to reach your full potential. He is neither Robert T. Bennett (1939–2014) nor Roy Leslie Bennett (1957–2018). He is a writer, not a politician, and is still alive. 

“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Don't be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Be the reason someone smiles. Be the reason someone feels loved and believes in the goodness in people.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Take responsibility of your own happiness, never put it in other people’s hands.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Be mindful. Be grateful. Be positive. Be true. Be kind.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Respect other people's feelings. It might mean nothing to you, but it could mean everything to them.”
― Roy T. Bennett

“We are all different. Don’t judge, understand instead.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Life is too short to waste your time on people who don’t respect, appreciate, and value you.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Live the Life of Your Dreams: Be brave enough to live the life of your dreams according to your vision and purpose instead of the expectations and opinions of others.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Don’t waste your time in anger, regrets, worries, and grudges. Life is too short to be unhappy.”
― Roy T. Bennett

“Don't let the expectations and opinions of other people affect your decisions. It's your life, not theirs. Do what matters most to you; do what makes you feel alive and happy. Don't let the expectations and ideas of others limit who you are. If you let others tell you who you are, you are living their reality — not yours. There is more to life than pleasing people. There is much more to life than following others' prescribed path. There is so much more to life than what you experience right now. You need to decide who you are for yourself. Become a whole being. Adventure.”
― Roy T. Bennett 

 

“Don't Just

Don't just learn, experience.
Don't just read, absorb.
Don't just change, transform.
Don't just relate, advocate.
Don't just promise, prove.
Don't just criticize, encourage.
Don't just think, ponder.
Don't just take, give.
Don't just see, feel.
Don’t just dream, do.
Don't just hear, listen.
Don't just talk, act.
Don't just tell, show.
Don't just exist, live.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“It’s only after you’ve stepped outside your comfort zone that you begin to change, grow, and transform.”
― Roy T. Bennett

“Even if you cannot change all the people around you, you can change the people you choose to be around. Life is too short to waste your time on people who don’t respect, appreciate, and value you. Spend your life with people who make you smile, laugh, and feel loved.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“You cannot control the behavior of others, but you can always choose how you respond to it.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“More smiling, less worrying. More compassion, less judgment. More blessed, less stressed. More love, less hate.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“The past is a place of reference, not a place of residence; the past is a place of learning, not a place of living.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Life becomes easier and more beautiful when we can see the good in other people.”
― Roy T. Bennett

“Do what is right, not what is easy nor what is popular.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Success is not how high you have climbed, but how you make a positive difference to the world.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Pursue what catches your heart, not what catches your eyes.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Keep Going

Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Keep going. Tough situations build strong people in the end.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Make improvements, not excuses. Seek respect, not attention.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Learn to light a candle in the darkest moments of someone’s life. Be the light that helps others see; it is what gives life its deepest significance.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Treat everyone with politeness and kindness, not because they are nice, but because you are.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

Swimming

Swimming is a form of moving meditation, relieving anxiety, reducing stress, and improving mood. Do what you love. Almost any form of exercise or movement can increase your fitness level while decreasing your stress. The most important thing is to pick an activity that you enjoy. For example, you might try walking, stair climbing, jogging, dancing, bicycling, yoga, tai chi, gardening, weightlifting or swimming.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/exercise-and-stress/art-20044469

There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.
― Ernest Hemingway

 

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.
― Ernest Hemingway