Self Portrait Self Image

We look in the mirror and what do we see? Scars, pimples, hairs, double chins? The girls in my class put on eye liner and lipstick and pierce their noses and eyebrows and lips, dye their hair a new color each night and have multiple tattoos.

One girl started a rumor that another girl was gay and because this was not true it was particularly painful for the accused girl to come to class so I sat with her on the other side of the room and talked with her about it for the whole class time. This was an important trauma to address. I told her she could ignore it and be angry at the same time. But lashing out would harm everyone. I remember how traumatic it was when my mother accused me of being gay at that age too because I was not being girly and flirting with boys like my sister was. Instead I had boys who were my close friends.

One of my students told me she doesn't like to be fat but sometimes she eats three bowls of ice cream before bed for comfort. She is 14 and her mother lives in NY with her own parents, and her father has a new woman and baby in NJ. I asked her how does that feel? This girl is being raised by her 27-year-old half-sister who I met on parents night. Is she good to you? I asked.

I told her to write down a list of everything she eats, not to show me but for herself. I told her about some foods, like apples and popcorn, that are comforting snacks but are healthy and won't make you fat. I told her that building muscles walking up the stairs and walking to school is good for her body and it can help her body become a more efficient fuel-burning machine. This girl is Italian and Puerto Rican and smart and a very good artist. She has such a classic look, like she stepped out of one of Diego Rivera's murals. She's going to NY over vacation to get her flute so she can play in the jazz band.