Painting Thoughts

When painting, I like to be working on multiple pictures at once. I fear that I will run out of ideas although mostly what I fear is running out of courage. With regular painting sessions and different pieces going I'll suddenly have a solution for one, or the courage to make sweeping changes or new commitments in another. Multiple paintings begin to speak to each other!

I had given up on one of my paintings that actually made me feel vertigo when I looked at it. I had made three figures and a checkered floor that was at a weird angle. I had struggled with it a while back and decided to turn it against the wall for many months. This week I looked at it and was not precious about any of it and painted over the nausea-inducing checkered floor and I muted the irritating colors, taking it back down to bare bones. Surprisingly I turned it around. It wanted to be a stark painting!

This week I painted over nearly everything in another painting, trying to make it go in a particular direction. What a depressing mess! But I had to try to stay engaged and fluid to keep my courage. Then the next day, still terrified, I dove into one that was an old tentative sketch on canvas that I had never developed, and now it has me very excited. My painting week was full of drama which is probably why I try to maintain a stable and calm life. I had to keep the radio news off too because it was making me so upset.

Too often I fall in love with the drawing stage on a painting and lose courage for the painting part. There's an energy in the drawing stage that is exciting, and I fear that I can't carry it over into the finish. But if I can chip away, the courage follows me in like a loyal cat. Sometimes I'll leave the painting as an alive and breathing underpainting for a while. It is good to have a few underpaintings that you are in love with kicking around.

Many times making a painting feels like a game of chess.

I love to see any artistic work in progress (including musical and theatrical rehearsals). I find it refreshing and inspiring to see the sketchbooks or underpaintings of an artist I admire. When looking at photographs of artists at work in their studios I am always peeking to catch a glimpse of their paintings-in-progress.

I find that painting for me elicits a myriad of quirky mental and physical energies. I can sometimes have laser-beam focus for 90 minutes. Sometimes I am completely exhausted and fall asleep on my studio couch. I try not to judge myself too harshly and try to show up and make things happen. I want my painting studio to be an approachable place even though it is terrifying at times.