Vincent D'Onofrio

1) A death in a family is a complex change in that family.
The emotion we each feel differently simply because of the loss can be enormous.
Other complexities like having to deal with the history of that persons life up to their death may come rushing forward.

2) Events and conflict from long ago.
Events and or a conflict that may have effected each of us differently and commonly has molded us into who we are.
Whether we like it or not.
Or whether others like it or not.
The question that comes to mind will change in us happen now.

3) I think some kind of change is not automatic but in some situations important for the families survival, a healthy survival.
Especially if the member of that family that passed away was the monarch so to speak or matriarch of that family.
All “things” may lead to them.

4) Well maybe not all things but the root of some things that have grown into common behavior in that family.
Mistakes made, generations of the unsaid truths.
Skeletons in the closet.
Yet also joy and a healthy sense of tribal behavior.

5) These specifics come up swiftly. The outcome of long repeated tradition raises its head.
Pretty or ugly.
A death in the family can be a celebration of the truth rising up and speaking out to the whole family. Hey look at me!

6) Then it is up to us to face these truths or turn away.
A death in a family is so so sad.
And so so enlightening.
Indulge in both those things and it will help us move forward and mourn our loved ones.

Vincent D'Onofrio @vincentdonofrio
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Jan 12, 2020