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“We see that substance addictions are only one specific form of blind attachment to harmful ways of being, yet we condemn the addict's stubborn refusal to give up something deleterious to his life or to the life of others. Why do we despise, ostracize and punish the drug addict, when as a social collective, we share the same blindness and engage in the same rationalizations?”
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In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction
Friday, November 06, 2026
“No society can understand itself without looking at its shadow side.”
― In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction
― In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction
“All of the diagnoses that you deal with - depression, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar illness, post traumatic stress disorder, even psychosis, are significantly rooted in trauma. They are manifestations of trauma. Therefore the diagnoses don't explain anything. The problem in the medical world is that we diagnose somebody and we think that is the explanation. He's behaving that way because he is psychotic. She's behaving that way because she has ADHD. Nobody has ADHD, nobody has psychosis - these are processes within the individual. It's not a thing that you have. This is a process that expresses your life experience. It has meaning in every single case.”―
“What we call the personality is often a jumble of genuine traits and adopted coping styles that do not reflect our true self at all but the loss of it.”
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In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction
“Being cut off from our own natural self-compassion is one of the greatest impairments we can suffer. Along with our ability to feel our own pain go our best hopes for healing, dignity and love. What seems nonadapative and self-harming in the present was, at some point in our lives, an adaptation to help us endure what we then had to go through. If people are addicted to self-soothing behaviours, it's only because in their formative years they did not receive the soothing they needed. Such understanding helps delete toxic self-judgment on the past and supports responsibility for the now. Hence the need for compassionate self-inquiry.”
“At the core of every addiction is an emptiness based in abject fear. The addict dreads and abhors the present moment; she bends feverishly only toward the next time, the moment when her brain, infused with her drug of choice, will briefly experience itself as liberated from the burden of the past and the fear of the future—the two elements that make the present intolerable. Many of us resemble the drug addict in our ineffectual efforts to fill in the spiritual black hole, the void at the center, where we have lost touch with our souls, our spirit—with those sources of meaning and value that are not contingent or fleeting. Our consumerist, acquisition-, action-, and image-mad culture only serves to deepen the hole, leaving us emptier than before. The constant, intrusive, and meaningless mind-whirl that characterizes the way so many of us experience our silent moments is, itself, a form of addiction—and it serves the same purpose. “One of the main tasks of the mind is to fight or remove the emotional pain, which is one of the reasons for its incessant activity, but all it can ever achieve is to cover it up temporarily. In fact, the harder the mind struggles to get rid of the pain, the greater the pain.” So writes Eckhart Tolle. Even our 24/7 self-exposure to noise, e-mails, cell phones, TV, Internet chats, media outlets, music downloads, videogames, and nonstop internal and external chatter cannot succeed in drowning out the fearful voices within.”
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In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction
A therapist once said to me, “If you face the choice between feeling guilt and resentment, choose the guilt every time.” It is wisdom I have passed on to many others since. If a refusal saddles you with guilt, while consent leaves resentment in its wake, opt for the guilt. Resentment is soul suicide. Negative thinking allows us to gaze unflinchingly on our own behalf at what does not work.
We have seen in study after study that compulsive positive thinkers are more likely to develop disease and less likely to survive. Genuine positive thinking — or, more deeply, positive being — empowers us to know that we have nothing to fear from truth. “Health is not just a matter of thinking happy thoughts,” writes the molecular researcher Candace Pert. “Sometimes the biggest impetus to healing can come from jump-starting the immune system with a burst of long-suppressed anger.” Anger, or the healthy experience of it, is one of the seven A’s of healing. Each of the seven A’s addresses one of the embedded visceral beliefs that predispose to illness and undermine healing.
― When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress
The greatest damage done by neglect, trauma or emotional loss is not the immediate pain they inflict but the long-term distortions they induce in the way a developing child will continue to interpret the world and her situation in it. All too often these ill-conditioned implicit beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies in our lives. We create meanings from our unconscious interpretation of early events, and then we forge our present experiences from the meaning we’ve created. Unwittingly, we write the story of our future from narratives based on the past...Mindful awareness can bring into consciousness those hidden, past-based perspectives so that they no longer frame our worldview.’Choice begins the moment you disidentify from the mind and its conditioned patterns, the moment you become present…Until you reach that point, you are unconscious.’ …In present awareness we are liberated from the past.
It is impossible to understand addiction without asking what relief the addict finds, or hopes to find, in the drug or the addictive behaviour.
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In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction
Not all addictions are rooted in abuse or trauma, but I do believe they can all be traced to painful experience. A hurt is at the centre of all addictive behaviours. It is present in the gambler, the Internet addict, the compulsive shopper and the workaholic. The wound may not be as deep and the ache not as excruciating, and it may even be entirely hidden—but it’s there. As we’ll see, the effects of early stress or adverse experiences directly shape both the psychology and the neurobiology of addiction in the brain.
Avoid a Void
When you stop pouring your energy into a void, you suddenly free up space in your life. You can redirect that time toward strengthening existing, active relationships. Focus on the few people who do show up, listen, and match your presence. Use that reclaimed attention for your own interests.
When old friends never update their knowledge of you, it generally means they are holding onto a frozen, nostalgic version of who you used to be rather than engaging with who you are right now. Key Meanings and Psychological Reasons • Attachment to the Past: Old friends often anchor you to a specific era (such as school, your early twenties, or a past struggle) because that version of you fits neatly into their memory of that time. Updating their view of you requires effort and mental flexibility they may not have or want to invest. • Cognitive Dissonance or Insecurity: When you grow, change careers, shift values, or mature, your evolution can inadvertently highlight stagnation in their own lives. Sticking to the old narrative allows them to feel comfortable without confronting change. • Outgrown Roles: Friendships often assign unspoken roles (e.g., the wild one, the quiet one, the insecure one). If you step out of that box, it disrupts the predictable dynamics of the relationship. • Limited Emotional Bandwidth: Keeping up with someone's real-time growth takes active listening, curiosity, and frequent communication. If the friendship has drifted into a low-maintenance or purely nostalgic space, they default to lazy shorthand instead of getting to know your present reality.
When your family never updates their knowledge of you, it means they are interacting with a frozen, outdated version of who you used to be rather than the person you are today. What This Dynamic Means • Stuck in a Fixed Narrative: Family members often lock people into static roles—such as the "shy kid," the "rebel," the "irresponsible one," or the "baby" of the family. When you grow, change, or heal, they miss the transition because their mental image of you is tied to the past. • Lack of Genuine Curiosity: A healthy relationship relies on ongoing interest in each other's inner worlds, values, and daily realities. When family members fail to update their view of you, it often stems from a lack of genuine curiosity or an inability to see you as an autonomous, separate adult. • Control and Comfort: Clinging to a simplified or outdated label of you can be a way for family members to maintain control or protect their own worldview. If they accepted that you have changed, they might have to reevaluate their own behavior, dynamics, or past treatment of you. • Emotional Erasure: Consistently ignoring or misinterpreting your current identity can feel like emotional neglect or invalidation. It sends the message that your growth doesn't matter or isn't real to them. Common Ways This Manifests • Infantilization: Treating an adult child as if they still need permission, supervision, or guidance as they did in childhood. • Misattributing Motivations: Interpreting your current adult choices through the lens of a past phase or teenage rebellion. • Asymmetrical Interest: Asking endless questions about other relatives or outer superficialities while showing zero engagement with your actual career, mental health, values, or life milestones.
Thursday, November 05, 2026
broccoli, pea pods and baby bok choy!
On our way home from teaching swimming to willing adults I took a detour to Bellingham's Market Basket. I picked out broccoli, pea pods and baby bok choy!
Big Red Truck
My neighbor Rick reminds me of actor Danny Trejo. He works on his big red truck in front of his garage every single day. He has black hair with no gray at all, but he's my age. "It's because I'm Italian," he said. He's rebuilt the exhaust system a few times, cursing a blue streak at every turn. He's repainted, buffed, and polished areas on the cab doors and hood. He never stops tinkering and adoring it while making a hellovalotta noise. Most days he's revving the engine to clear its throat while burning a hole in the ozone. In spite of our exasperation we've come to love him. We worry about him if we don't see him for a few days. One afternoon he shouted to us from his apartment porch, "Would you like a pizza? I made two and ate one already." My husband replied, "If you made it, sure!" and we have been pals ever since.
The other day as I was walking down the driveway he asked "Do you know what's happening right now?" I said no. "The world's going to end next week!" I wondered if he had been drinking."Good!" I said. He cackled, showing his toothless maw, and said "I love you!" "I'll see you and your red truck in the afterlife, Rick, that's for sure!"
Wednesday, November 04, 2026
Gerry Heroux's Lyrics adapted from Let's Twist for Trunks of Treats Taunton
Let's Trunk and Treat like we did last October
Let's Trunk and Treat, trunkin' time is here!
Do you remember when you were really
Knocked over
By all the treats that you got last year?
A well, a well, a well, a -
Up and down and back and forth
You go again
You must be some kind of
Ameri-candy-an!
Let's trunk and treat like we did last October
Let's Trunk and Treat, trunkin' time is here!
The Future Overheard a film by Nancy Wyllie
A Duck and Cover generation friendship comes full circle through The Manhattan Project to the present day Doomsday Clock threat of nuclear annihilation.
WCRI 95.9 FM Classical: Early Mornings with Laura Carlo
https://www.iheart.com/live/classical-959-wcri-7082/now-playing/
Laura Carlo is on the air at 6:00 AM – 10:00 AM
https://classical959.com/wcn
Hot Cabbage Sesame Sunflower Slaw
Shred green cabbage and saute in olive oil at high temperature. Add chopped carrots and raw shelled sunflower seeds. Add a dash of soy sauce and salt and pepper and a splash of Chianti, and toasted sesame oil. Add a splash of vinegar! It's fantastic and the roasted in the pan sunflower seeds taste like bacon.
The Paradox of "Rich People" and Views
Scenic views (properties with panoramic ocean, mountain, or skyline vistas), the obsession comes down to scarcity, status, and psychology: • Supply and demand: Land with an unobstructed view is physically limited. Because only a tiny fraction of the population can own it, it acts as an immediate, permanent symbol of exclusivity and power. • Psychological well-being: Studies on biophilia and spatial psychology show that elevated, open views reduce cortisol (stress hormones) and signal safety and dominance—offering a literal and figurative "above-it-all" perspective.
Tuesday, November 03, 2026
In Brazil it's pretty common to have some coffee after lunch in restaurants, even more so than dessert. The espresso most of the time is served alongside a small glass of sparkling water and a tiny chocolate or sweet treat. Like this
A.R. Moxon @juliusgoat.bsky.social
Good morning. What say we give Nazis a bad day?
People like to say "we're not going to vote our way out of this," and there is some truth there, insofar as voting is one lever among many for effecting change, and we will need to use all levers, I think. But I know that Nazis v. much don't want us to vote. So let's not give Nazis what they want.
And while it may be true that "we're not going to vote our way out of this," it also occurs to me we're not going to stay-home our way out of this. So get on out there. All the other levers of change will still be there tomorrow, and we should all put our weight on them. Today, do the today thing.
Why shouldn't I hate her? She did the worst thing to me that anyone can do to anyone else. Let them believe that they're loved and wanted and then show them that it's all a sham.
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The Mirror Crack'd From Side to Side
Monday, November 02, 2026
Gabor Maté No Magic Pill with Blake Mycoskie In this episode of No Magic Pill, Gabor Maté and Blake Mycoskie explore childhood trauma, shame, ADHD, and the long road to healing. Gabor shares his own story of surviving the Holocaust as an infant, traces the roots of the "not enough" wound so many high achievers carry, and offers practical guidance for parents navigating stress, divorce, and sensitive kids. An unflinching conversation about what it actually takes to heal, and why the wound is never the whole story.
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What the Living Do
Johnny, the kitchen sink has been clogged for days, some utensil probably fell down there.
And the Drano won’t work but smells dangerous, and the crusty dishes have piled up
waiting for the plumber I still haven’t called. This is the everyday we spoke of.
It’s winter again: the sky’s a deep, headstrong blue, and the sunlight pours through
the open living-room windows because the heat’s on too high in here and I can’t turn it off.
For weeks now, driving, or dropping a bag of groceries in the street, the bag breaking,
I’ve been thinking: This is what the living do. And yesterday, hurrying along those
wobbly bricks in the Cambridge sidewalk, spilling my coffee down my wrist and sleeve,
I thought it again, and again later, when buying a hairbrush: This is it.
Parking. Slamming the car door shut in the cold. What you called that yearning.
What you finally gave up. We want the spring to come and the winter to pass. We want
whoever to call or not call, a letter, a kiss—we want more and more and then more of it.
But there are moments, walking, when I catch a glimpse of myself in the window glass,
say, the window of the corner video store, and I'm gripped by a cherishing so deep
for my own blowing hair, chapped face, and unbuttoned coat that I’m speechless:
I am living. I remember you.
From What the Living Do, copyright © 1998 by Marie Howe. Used by permission of W. W. Norton. All rights reserved.
You have to listen to everyone. As an artist, you have to listen to both the executioner and the victim.
From my childhood, I remember talking to people, and the stories they told me were more interesting than what’s in books. People tell me extraordinary things, and I realize that there is nothing in the world about which we know anything for sure. Each person screams out his or her truth. You have to listen to everyone. As an artist, you have to listen to both the executioner and the victim.
SVETLANA ALEXIEVICH
Sunday, November 01, 2026
In writing, habit seems to be a much stronger force than either willpower or inspiration. Consequently there must be some little quality of fierceness until the habit pattern of a certain number of words is established. There is no possibility, in me at least, of saying, “I’ll do it if I feel like it.” One never feels like awaking day after day. In fact, given the smallest excuse, one will not work at all. The rest is nonsense. Perhaps there are people who can work that way, but I cannot. I must get my words down every day whether they are any good or not.
JOHN STEINBECK
The Day of the Dead (Día de los Muertos) is a traditional Mexican holiday celebrated primarily on November 1 and 2 to honor and welcome back the souls of deceased loved ones. Day of the Dead - November 1: Día de los Inocentes or All Saints' Day, dedicated to the spirits of children who have passed away. • November 2: Día de los Muertos or All Souls' Day, dedicated to the spirits of adults. Origins and Significance • Mesoamerican Roots: The holiday traces back roughly 3,000 years to ancient Indigenous cultures in Mesoamerica, including the Aztecs, Toltecs, and Maya, who viewed death as a natural continuation of life rather than the end. • Catholic Fusion: During the colonial era, these pre-Hispanic death rituals blended with Roman Catholic observances—specifically All Saints' Day and All Souls' Day. • Joyful Remembrance: Rather than focusing strictly on mourning, the celebration embraces color, music, and storytelling to keep the memory of ancestors alive.
Gabor Mate: The Life that Fits You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IQXUH0Nz5g
What if the difficult season you're going through is preparing you for the best chapter of your life? Sometimes, life becomes quiet before everything changes. You may feel disconnected from your old identity, uncertain about your future, or less interested in the things that once mattered to you. It can feel like you're standing between the person you used to be and the person you're becoming. But what if this season is an opportunity to grow, rediscover yourself, and prepare for a new beginning?
Linguini lost in the Pantry
Last night when I came home from the grocery store I was loading cans of plum tomatoes into my deep cupboard. I reached in to create space and I found an empty 1 pound cellophane package of linguini. It was way in the back. It had jagged mouse bites along the plastic. I grabbed a flashlight and saw many little mouse turds. I cleaned everything up. I am amazed.
Rewriting Your Love Story: Breaking the Cycle of Unavailability | Dr. Gabor Maté Healing Words of Gabor Maté Healing Words of Gabor Maté
Dr. Gabor Maté. How to stop loving people who can't love you back
Saturday, October 31, 2026
Most people who die in fires don't burn to death; they die from smoke inhalation that kills the respiratory system. that's why the fire service is going on and on about smoke detectors. These little ten-dollar gadgets are one of the truly wonderful inventions of man. The wake you up from a deep slumber so that you and your family and your dog or cat or whatever can get out of the house in time to live and call the fire department. If this sounds like a public service announcement, it is. If you don't have one, buy one today. They make great Christmas gifts. Plus they're cheap. Give a gift of love to a loved one you love. End of announcement.
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There’s a Rhode Island woman trying get the Corkscrew Roller Coaster back to Rhode Island where it was originally part of the former Rocky Point Amusement Park
A Johnston Rhode Island woman named Chantelle Croft is trying get the Corkscrew aka 'Wild Thing' back to Rhode Island.
Ask PAWTUCKET RI. They have the Loof Carousel another historic piece of Rocky Point. If they say no, ask Woonsocket ask Lincoln!
Friday, October 30, 2026
It seems to me that if there is no spiritual undercarriage beneath the ideological, if the political does not rest upon what can only be called love, then our politics grow hard and narrow, turn in on themselves, become tribal, cannibalistic, and lacking in mercy. Look around and see. Nick Cave
O mangiar questa minestra o saltar questa finestra
This classic Italian saying literally means ‘Either eat this soup or jump out of this window’, and is interpreted as ‘take it or leave it’. Minestra, originally used to symbolize the food on the table, can be a symbol for anything according to the situation. The saying is also frequently used about accepting a situation, settling for something /being happy with what you have and can’t change, to avoid unfortunate results.
Thursday, October 29, 2026
Join Blackstone Valley Regional Animal Control
We service the communities of Blackstone, Millville, Uxbridge, Mendon, Douglas, and Hopedale
14 Chestnut Street, Blackstone, MA, United States, Massachusetts (508) 883-2822 ACO@Blackstonepolice.org
We can experience nothing but the present moment, live in no other second of time, and to understand this is as close as we can get to eternal life.
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The Children of Men
Overheard
Early this morning as I was leaving the pool I overheard two women talking while standing waist deep in the water while waiting for their Aqua Fitness class to begin. One woman said to the other, "Well, she gets to sleep and we get to eat!"
I thought this was hilarious and my husband didn't get the humor. Perhaps it's only funny to women? You tell me!
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Wednesday, October 28, 2026
Three Rats
This morning I jumped when I came upon a dead rat on the sidewalk. I was walking my 2 dogs and I immediately crossed the street and after a few steps we came upon another dead rat on the sidewalk. I kept walking and crossed to another street. I was relieved that we did not encounter any more.
This afternoon I spotted a 3rd dead rat on the sidewalk in front of my neighbors building. Three dead rats all on the same street.
My husband said it's a spell. All of the drug dealers were hit with a secret City Rat Ray Gun and turned into rats. I like it. So far that explanation works for me. They perished, not knowing how to be proper rats.
Tuesday, October 27, 2026
Baking Two Pumpkin Pies for my Husband's Birthday Tomorrow
Pumpkin Pie re-posted from my blog The Insomniacs Kitchen, March 2012, adapted 10/27/2021 and DOUBLED.
I just made pumpkin pie for the first time and it came out great! I put it in front of the tiny fan so it would cool off fast so we could eat it. I am so excited. I think pie is my new friend.
This is a delicious whole wheat crust and the pie is light like Indian Pudding and not too sweet. This is an adaption of the Libby's Pumpkin pie label recipe and the One Pie brand label recipe. I love pumpkin pie, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin ice-cream, pumpkin everything!!
Ingredients and instructions for 2 pies (9-10 inch) or 6 mini pies (6 inch)
Pie crust:
2 cups of whole wheat flour
1/2 cup corn oil
3/8 cup (6 Tbs) white or brown sugar (the sugar is the glue holding the crust together)
2 teaspoon Kosher salt (less if using regular salt or white flour)
1/4 cup water
Mix ingredients with fingers so it is pebbly. Press into pie pan with fingers. Prick dough on the pan bottom with a fork. It can be sticky and hard to handle but hang in there, it will be delicious.
Bake at 350° F for 5-10 minutes. Then let it cool.
Tip from Once Upon a Chef Jenn Segal: Press the crust into the bottom of the pan with the back of a measuring cup. This will make sure the crust is in the pan nice and firm, so that it won't fall apart when you cut this for serving.
Pie filling:
1/2 cup white granulated sugar
1/4 cup of dark molasses
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon Kosher salt (half if using regular salt)
2 teaspoons ground ginger (I used freshly finely grated frozen ginger root)
2 teaspoons vanilla (homemade)
4 large eggs
1 large can of pumpkin puree (29 oz.)
2 cans of evaporated milk (12 fl. oz.)
Mix sugar, dark molasses, cinnamon, salt, ginger, vanilla, and eggs in large bowl. Whisk in pumpkin puree and evaporated milk.
Pour into the pre-baked, cooled pie shells.
Bake pie in preheated 425° F oven for 10 minutes. Reduce temperature to 350° F; bake for 40 to 50 more minutes or until knife inserted near center comes out clean. Cool on wire rack.
Some bakers use sweetened condensed milk so I tried it but I discovered that it is cloyingly sweet and drowns out the pumpkin taste compared to a pie made with evaporated milk and 1/4 cup sugar (per pie). The evaporated milk pumpkin pie is much more like Indian Pudding and tastes like a food!
sooner or later if he walks down a dark street, fate will slip out with a stuffed eel-skin and get him.
The cat sat on the mat is not a story; the cat sat on the dog’s mat is the beginning of an exciting story, and out of that collision, perhaps, there comes a sense of retribution. Now you may call that God, or you may call it the presence of fatalistic forces in society, or you may call it man’s inhumanity to man. But, in the immortal words of P.G. Wodehouse, what it boils down to is that if your character does something wrong, sooner or later if he walks down a dark street, fate will slip out with a stuffed eel-skin and get him.
JOHN LE CARRÉ
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