Underwear

When I was a child I was surprised when Mrs. Bell drove the carpool in her nightgown and curlers. I asked my mother why she didn't do the same thing? 

What if I got a flat tire? She said.

Why don't you just wear your bra? Because I'd get arrested.

When my husband and I moved into our apartment I looked out the window one Saturday morning. Our next door neighbor was standing in his yard in his plaid flannel pajamas. Bill, Henry's in his pajamas in the backyard. When my father in law would enter the kitchen in his bathrobe and pour himself a coffee I was surprised because I never saw my father wearing a bathrobe. 

Yesterday my neighbor Nancy asked me if I had heard about a man walking around with no shirt and just wearing white shorts. Why is that news I asked? 

He wasn't wearing a shirt, and you could see his junk, she said.

How would I hear?

When you are out walking Romeo and talking to people.

This morning I am at the kitchen table wearing lounge pants and a zipper sweatshirt and I am waiting for the police to arrest me.