Ryan Daigler - Exposing Narcissistic Abuse

 Covert narcissists feel incredibly threatened by honest people with strong intuitive insight and and unwavering commitment to honesty. Being around someone who "sees" them — not the mask, but the real, insecure, manipulative self beneath — is intolerable to a covert narcissist. It brings up shame they try desperately to avoid.  Instead of self-reflecting, they project, blame, or smear the honest person to undermine their credibility. 

When a covert narcissist encounters an intuitive and honest person who sees through their manipulation, they often feel deeply threatened and respond with a series of predictable, defensive, and often toxic behaviors designed to protect their ego and maintain control.

 Here's what they typically do: 

 1. Love-Bomb or Idealize (at First) -Initially, they may try to win the person over with flattery, empathy mirroring, or even playing the victim in a way that appeals to the empathic nature of the intuitive person. -This is a tactic to disarm and to figure out how much influence they might still be able to gain.  

2. Test Boundaries -Covert narcissists will probe to see how much they can get away with — subtle manipulation, guilt-tripping, or triangulating with others to test the person’s loyalty or emotional reactions. -If the intuitive person holds firm, this increases the narcissist's sense of threat. 

 3. Smear Campaigns -If the intuitive person challenges or exposes their behavior (even passively), the narcissist may start smearing their reputation behind the scenes. -This often includes portraying themselves as the victim and the intuitive person as “crazy,” “toxic,” or “too sensitive.”  

4. Gaslighting and Projection -To destabilize the intuitive person, they might subtly gaslight them — questioning their memory, perceptions, or motives. -They'll often project their own toxic traits onto the other person, claiming that they're the manipulative or dishonest one.  

5. Stonewalling, Ghosting, or Silent Treatment -If they feel truly exposed and can’t manipulate the person, they may cut off communication, give the cold shoulder, or vanish altogether. -This is a way to regain power and punish the person for being "difficult" or “disobedient.”  

6. Attempt to Undermine Their Confidence -Covert narcissists often go after the intuitive person's confidence and credibility, trying to make them question themselves, feel isolated, or doubt their insight. -This could be through backhanded compliments, passive-aggressive comments, or minimizing their emotional intelligence.  

7. Hoovering -If the narcissist loses control, they may later attempt to "hoover" the person back into the dynamic — using apologies, guilt, or faux vulnerability. -The goal is never resolution — it’s to reestablish control.