Gina DeMillo Wagner

When Alan died, I did not feel relief. I felt immediate, unmistakable sadness. I grieved not only for the loss of my brother, but also for the loss of any possibility for a better life for him or a closer relationship for us.

I recall a grade-school teacher telling me what a lucky little girl I was. “Your brother is special. You are so lucky to have him. He will teach you things that no other brother can.” At the time, those words stung. Lucky? I felt so very unlucky to be Alan’s sister. I felt small and unseen.

Looking back, I know this teacher was right. Alan taught me that humans are imperfect, vulnerable beings. Watching the way people behaved around my brother, I understood there is incredible kindness and unimaginable cruelty in the world. Thanks to Alan, I gained patience, empathy, diplomacy, maturity and compassion.
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