Try this.

In my own life and in my 15 years of designing transformative gatherings, I’ve discovered that the way we gather really matters. Gathering — the conscious bringing together of people for a reason — shapes the way we think, feel and make sense of our world. Collectively, we can brainstorm, share, heal, envision, trust and connect for a larger purpose.

Whether it’s a family dinner or a work meeting, posing the right question can help long-acquainted people see each other with fresh eyes. A few years ago, my husband and I went to India to visit our grandparents and other relatives. We decided to gather both sides of our family for a dinner — 17 of us in total. But I knew if we didn’t do anything to design the evening, cousins would gravitate to cousins, grandparents would talk among themselves, and the conversation would never go beyond small talk.

My solution? I decided to borrow an idea from a group of women I used to meet with in graduate school. In our meetings, we came together by opening up about our “crucible moments” — the moments that changed us and made us who we are. Everyone has one, and it’s always a great story.


So at our family dinner, we asked everyone to share a story, a moment or an experience from their life that changed how they viewed the world.

https://ideas.ted.com/want-to-really-connect-at-your-next-family-gathering-try-this/