love is more powerful than fear

“Pain and dysfunction get passed down from generation to generation. A mixture of genetic inheritance and environmental circumstance ensures that our lives unfold according to a complex web of conditions that is infinitely larger than ourselves. The only way to stop the vicious cycle of reacting to pain by causing more pain is to step out of the system. We need to let our hearts fill with compassion, and forgive ourselves and others.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself 

“Perhaps our behavior becomes more understandable, however, when we remember that just like self-aggrandizement, self-criticism is a type of safety behavior designed to ensure acceptance within the larger social group. Even though the alpha dog gets to eat first, the dog that shows his belly when snarled at still gets his share. He’s given a safe place in the pack even if it’s at the bottom of the pecking order. Self-criticism serves as a submissive behavior because it allows us to abase ourselves before imaginary others who pronounce judgment over us—then reward our submission with a few crumbs from the table. When we are forced to admit our failings, we can appease our mental judges by acquiescing to their negative opinions of us.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself 

“A Native American wisdom story tells of an old Cherokee who is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil—he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good—he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you—and inside every other person, too.” The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Try to feel compassion for how difficult it is to be an imperfect human being in this extremely competitive society of ours. Our culture does not emphasize self-compassion, quite the opposite. We’re told that no matter how hard we try, our best just isn’t good enough.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“If I have to feel better than you to feel good about myself, then how clearly am I really going to see you, or myself for that matter?”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Remember that if you really want to motivate yourself, love is more powerful than fear.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“We know from research that the number one reason people aren’t self-compassionate is because they are afraid it will undermine their motivation,” said Kristin Neff.