Shared Solitude

We all want to enlighten our parents...I tried so many times to share the books and articles I loved and they resented it every time. If I shared a favorite teacher they were jealous! Their narcissism filled a stadium!

 

Now I grapple with the fact that the family system was designed for me as scapegoat so I will not have anything to do with them in that formula and system. I am waiting for them to step out of their roles. 

 

Funny but the 6 am swimmers formed a family too and I had to step away. Now I have bonded with all of the teen lifeguards and I swim at 11 or 2 or 3PM or at another pool. I love these kids!

 

The tribal instinct for extroverts always brings them back to their childhoods, where the anxieties of being unloved, abandoned, judged, and criticized were always present. As an introvert who is not tribal I feel like I am watching a scenario I would never admire. I prefer a shared solitude.