From
clinical psychologist and expert in narcissistic relationships Dr.
Ramani Durvasula, a guide to protecting and healing yourself from the
daily harms of narcissism It’s
not always easy to tell when you’re dealing with a narcissistic person.
One day they draw you in with their charm and charisma, the next they
gaslight you, wreck your self-esteem, and leave you wondering, What should I have done differently? As Dr. Ramani explains in It’s Not You, the answer is: absolutely nothing.
Just
as a tiger can’t change its stripes, a narcissist will not stop
manipulating and invalidating you, no matter how much you try to appease
them. The first step toward healing from their toxic influence—and to
protect yourself from future harm—is to accept that you are not to blame
for their behavior.
Drawing on more than two decades of studying
the landscape of narcissism and working with survivors, Dr. Ramani
explores how narcissists hijack our well-being and offers a healing path
forward. Unpacking the oft-misunderstood personality, she reveals the
telltale behavioral patterns that indicate you may be dealing with a
narcissist. Along the way, you’ll learn how to become gaslight
resistant, chip away at the trauma bonds that keep you stuck in the
cycle, grieve the loss of these painful relationships, create and
maintain realistic boundaries, discern unhelpful behaviors from
narcissistic behaviors, and recover your sense of self after constant
invalidation.
Thriving after, or even during, a narcissistic relationship can be challenging, but It’s Not You
shows you it is possible. Dr. Ramani invites you to stop blaming
yourself and trying to change the narcissistic person, and to start
giving yourself permission to let go of their hold on you and finally
embrace your true self.
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