Shifting

I talk a lot about my moods because they shift profoundly and reliably every three months yet I am always surprised. When shifting to receive mode I ALWAYS think that finally I've figured something out and it won't hurt so bad to fall off my lovely transmit cruising energy flow. I won't fall so hard this time. Even when it's predicted and on my calendar the experience of my energy shift is always trippy until I adjust. And sometimes I don't and it's sheer hell. The patterns recur and yet each time it is another opportunity to see how well I can handle this and learn to handle it better. After three months in one "house" I am transitioning back to the other and it hurts like hell. I feel so ungrateful to be in this much mental anguish, like I must be missing all the goodness in life. And in these moments perhaps I am. So I rush outside with my dog and literally smell the roses. Today my demons are out in full force and my husband is gently reminding me that I will adjust. I mustn't forget the importance of engaging. It's easy for me to freeze like a deer in the headlights or get so anxious my head is throbbing and my teeth, jaw, and ears hurt.

Here are the things I tell myself. The transition into inward energy hurts the most during the initial shock of the shift. After a few days (like 7), I will be moved into my new "house" and settle in. Writing will get the mental anxiety and drama outside of me and on to the page! I must remember that I am imaginative on both sides of the spectrum, so I must use it or it will use me. I must realize that I am always one move away from the right move. Action is healing. Use the energy of the fear!