Belief Hole

In my continued struggle to understand my mood energy cycle I need to dismantle long held false beliefs about myself; what I call tribal damage. In receive mode I could potentially fall into a full blown depression if I am not careful because the anxiety and feeling of vulnerability kicks in full tilt. Then the low self esteem and self loathing kicks in. Here's the dilemma that I absorbed early in life: In order to be a member of my tribe I have to accept scapegoat status, otherwise I am a loathsome person undeserving of a tribe or even of life at all. At these moments I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. This is a decades old outdated and false belief system, a survival strategy from my youth, but it kicks in every time I am in receive mode and feeling super vulnerable. It is an old trap, a belief hole that I fall into! A friend once said "Change your beliefs!" It sounds so simple and yet it is profoundly difficult. My job is to dismantle these harmful notions and establish a more accurate and healthy picture. Perhaps my discoveries may be helpful to others.