Sunday, July 10, 2022

Trapped

I dislike getting into cars unless my husband is driving. I'm not sure why but I feel trapped by people in their cars. Perhaps I am reminded of being a child wanting to escape when my mother was driving recklessly, running red lights, all while saying awful things. 

Often this is recreated when someone offers me a lift home or to someplace. Once a friend drove me to a nearby pool when ours was closed. I felt strangled as my friend drove 35 miles an hour on the highway and talked about nearly dying in a crash on the Mass Pike. "I guess it wasn't our time," she said. After my swim I decided to take the local bus home. She was puzzled (and I was too) but I felt compelled to reclaim my independence.

I've had people assail me with their right wing politics, or insane theories, all of which has made me feel trapped. People are crazy. They drive 10 miles an hour in a 35 mile an hour zone, or seem terrified of driving three blocks out of their way. 

Perhaps we need a car etiquette. Meanwhile I prefer walking. I am introverted by nature. My brain needs a lot of space and oxygen to cultivate ideas. Ideally I prefer a few miles with just my dog before encountering people.

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