Melody Moezzi: choosing to surround yourself with people who know what matters most to you and will push you to honor that, whatever it happens to be.

Choosing your family — and by extension, your community — is an intensely powerful act of self-care. No matter how much we may want to, we simply cannot promote and maintain health — or prevent disease and cope with (mental) health conditions and disability — alone.

We need family, and we need community. And it’s no secret that there is no such thing as a perfect family or community, so it’s up to us to fill the gaps and build the families and communities we need — and deserve.

Unfortunately, most of us don’t do this unless we’re severely persecuted by our families of origin — which may partly explain why the LGBTQ+ community is way ahead of the curve here. That said, we can all benefit from building strong and diverse chosen families. Being faithful to who we are is the best way to do it.

I’ve been writing and speaking openly about my experiences with bipolar disorder for more than a decade now, and as a result of being faithful to who I am by refusing to be quiet about what matters to me, I now have a remarkable extended chosen family of other mental health advocates and survivors.

Keeping their company helps keep me well, which makes them a vital part of my self-care strategy. And they assure me this isn’t a one-way street, as they insist that keeping my company helps keep them well, too.

Together, we’ve found our people — those who “get” us — and every day our patient presence reminds us that there’s nothing selfish about self-care.

Authenticity: the Ultimate Self-Care by Melody Moezzi