Dorothy Parker

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
-Dorothy Parker

I hate writing, I love having written.
-Dorothy Parker

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them.
-Dorothy Parker

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.
-Dorothy Parker

I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of those who-do-things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails. But I don't even do that anymore.
-Dorothy Parker

His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
-Dorothy Parker

Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.
-Dorothy Parker

You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
-Dorothy Parker

Sometimes I think I'll give up trying, and just go completely Russian and sit on a stove and moan all day.
-Dorothy Parker

Now, look, baby, 'Union' is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
-Dorothy Parker

I wish, I wish I were a poisonous bacterium.
-Dorothy Parker

If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
-Dorothy Parker

If wild my breast and sore my pride,
I bask in dreams of suicide,
If cool my heart and high my head
I think 'How lucky are the dead.'
-Dorothy Parker

You think You're frightening me with Your hell, don't You? You think Your hell is worse than mine.
-Dorothy Parker

The House Beautiful is the play lousy.
-Dorothy Parker

I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
-Dorothy Parker

Resumé
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

-Dorothy Parker