The neuroscience of self-criticism — why that voice in your head is so loud, why it’s lying to you, and what actually rewires it
https://drjudyho.substack.com/p/your-inner-critic-isnt-telling-you
My glittery trail
https://drjudyho.substack.com/p/your-inner-critic-isnt-telling-you
― Sakyong Mipham, Running with the Mind of Meditation: Lessons for Training Body and Mind
Articulating and expanding your motivation when you wake up in the morning has the power to change your whole day.
―
Sakyong Mipham,
Running with the Mind of Meditation: Lessons for Training Body and Mind
In the beginning of running and of meditation, one of the biggest
obstacles is laziness. One kind of laziness is basic slothfulness, in
which we are unable to extract ourselves from the television or couch.
In this case, just a little bit of exercise can send a message to the
body that it is time to move forward. Even putting on workout clothes
and beginning to stretch helps bring us out of our sloth. By the same
token, sitting down to follow the breath for even five minutes has the
power to move us out of laziness. Another form of laziness is that we
don’t make time in our busy, speedy life to go for a run or to sit down
and practice.
―
Sakyong Mipham,
Running with the Mind of Meditation: Lessons for Training Body and Mind
To be gentle is to understand that life is a journey deserving constant attentiveness. Therefore it is gentleness that allows us to finish a marathon, not putting pressure on ourselves to immediately think about the next one. Gentleness is “just doing it” in such a way that we can do it again and again.
The difference between the mind and the body is that no one is surprised to get winded while running to catch the bus. Nobody gets mad at themselves, saying, “I can’t believe I can’t run 26.2 miles!” However, when we become overwhelmed by longer hours at work, more e-mails, or more parenting duties, we become irritable, moody, and unhappy. It doesn’t occur to us that our mind is out of shape. We put more stress on ourselves because we assume we should just be able to handle it all.
― Sakyong Mipham, Running with the Mind of Meditation: Lessons for Training Body and Mind
In Tibet, we have a traditional image, the windhorse, which represents a
balanced relationship between the wind and the mind. The horse
represents wind and movement. On its saddle rides a precious jewel. That
jewel is our mind. A jewel is a stone that is clear and reflects light.
There is a solid, earthly element to it. You can pick it up in your
hand, and at the same time you can see through it. These qualities
represent the mind: it is both tangible and translucent. The mind is
capable of the highest wisdom. It can experience love and compassion, as
well as anger. It can understand history, philosophy, and
mathematics—and also remember what’s on the grocery list. The mind is
truly like a wish-fulfilling jewel. With an untrained mind, the thought
process is said to be like a wild and blind horse: erratic and out of
control. We experience the mind as moving all the time—suddenly darting
off, thinking about one thing and another, being happy, being sad. If we
haven’t trained our mind, the wild horse takes us wherever it wants to
go. It’s not carrying a jewel on its back—it’s carrying an impaired
rider. The horse itself is crazy, so it is quite a bizarre scene. By
observing our own mind in meditation, we can see this dynamic at work.
Especially in the beginning stages of meditation, we find it extremely
challenging to control our mind. Even if we wish to control it, we have
very little power to do so, like the infirm rider. We want to focus on
the breathing, but the mind keeps darting off unexpectedly. That is the
wild horse. The process of meditation is taming the horse so that it is
in our control, while making the mind an expert rider.
―
Sakyong Mipham,
Running with the Mind of Meditation: Lessons for Training Body and Mind
Awareness puts us in tune with the elements. This elemental connection is part of being alive. We are too often indoors, unaware of the elements. The elements are not our enemies: we ourselves are made of the elements. When we connect with them, they inspire us and make us stronger, allowing us to communicate with the world in much subtler ways.
Beginning a conversation is an act of bravery. When you initiate a conversation, you fearlessly step into the unknown. Will the other person respond to favorably or unfavorably? Will it be a friendly or hostile exchange? There is a feeling of being on the edge. That nanosecond of space and unknowing can be intimidating. It shows your vulnerability. You don't know what is going to happen. You feel quite exposed. There's a chance you'll experience embarrassment. Yet this very feeling is what allows you to connect to the other person.
I have always found a natural relationship between running and
meditation. Running can be a support for meditation, and meditation can
be a support for running. Running is a natural form of exercise, for it
is simply an extension of walking. When we run, we strengthen our heart,
remove stagnant air, revitalize our nervous system, and increase our
aerobic capacity. It helps us develop a positive attitude. It creates
exertion and stamina and gives us a way to deal with pain. It helps us
relax. For many of us, it offers a feeling of freedom. Likewise,
meditation is a natural exercise of the mind—an opportunity to
strengthen, reinvigorate, and cleanse. Through meditation we can connect
with that long-forgotten goodness we all have. It is very powerful to
feel that sense of goodness: having confidence and bravery in our
innermost being.
―
Sakyong Mipham,
Running with the Mind of Meditation: Lessons for Training Body and Mind
― Sakyong Mipham, Running with the Mind of Meditation: Lessons for Training Body and Mind
Running and meditation are very personal activities. Therefore they are
lonely. This loneliness is one of their best qualities because it
strengthens our incentive to motivate ourselves.
―
Sakyong Mipham,
Running with the Mind of Meditation: Lessons for Training Body and Mind
― Sakyong Mipham, Turning the Mind Into an Ally
― Sakyong Mipham, Running with the Mind of Meditation: Lessons for Training Body and Mind
― Sakyong Mipham, Running with the Mind of Meditation: Lessons for Training Body and Mind
“If we do not push ourselves enough, we do not grow, but if we
push ourselves too much, we regress. What is enough will change,
depending on where we are and what we are doing. In that sense, the
present moment is always some kind of beginning.”
Soccer tournaments, scavenger hunts, and what a mayoral race is actually teaching us about 2026. Santiago Mayer Apr 20, 2026
Don't look for peace. Don't look for any other state than the one you are in now; otherwise, you will set up inner conflict and unconscious resistance. Forgive yourself for not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace becomes transmuted into peace. Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the miracle of surrender.
― Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose
What a liberation to realize that the “voice in my head” is not who I am. Who am I then? The one who sees that.
―
Eckhart Tolle,
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose
You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily.
― John C. Maxwell
Make a rice salad with grated carrots and a dressing of olive oil and a splash of balsamic vinegar or wine vinegar. Add dried cranberries (or raisins) for color and sweet notes. Sprinkle with Adobo sesoning (garlic onion oregano black pepper salt).
Cook a pot of (Royal brand) brown Basmati rice. When cooled off combine with the carrot slaw. It makes a fabulous salad.
“Someone once wrote that musicians are touched on the shoulder by
God, and I think it's true. You can make other people happy with music,
but you can make yourself happy too. Because of my music, I have never
known loneliness and never been depressed.”
“If you go to Atlanta, the first question people ask you is, "What's
your business?" In Macon they ask, "Where do you go to church?" In
Augusta they ask your grandmother's maiden name. But in Savannah the
first question people ask you is "What would you like to drink?”
―
John Berendt,
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
“Keep a diary, but don't just list all the things you did during the
day. Pick one incident and write it up as a brief vignette. Give it
color, include quotes and dialogue, shape it like a story with a
beginning, middle and end—as if it were a short story or an episode in a
novel. It's great practice. Do this while figuring out what you want to
write a book about. The book may even emerge from within this running
diary.”
―
John Berendt
The list is the origin of culture. It’s part of the history of art and literature. What does culture want? To make infinity comprehensible. It also wants to create order—not always, but often. And how, as a human being, does one face infinity? How does one attempt to grasp the incomprehensible? Through lists, through catalogs, through collections in museums and through encyclopedias and dictionaries.
UMBERTO ECO
My friend Luz made this and served it on roasted potatoes and roasted peppers with kale.
A creamy, high-protein basil dressing is made by blending 1 cup of cottage cheese, 1 cup packed fresh basil, 2-3 tbsp lemon juice, 1-5 (cored) fresh garlic cloves, and 2 tbsp cider vinegar or wine vinegar (or water). Combine all ingredients in a high-speed blender or food processor, until the dressing is completely smooth.
It serves as a healthy, low-fat alternative to mayo-based dressings, perfect for salads, dips, sandwiches or spreads.
For a thinner dressing, add 1-2 tbsp of water or olive oil. Enhance with 1/2 tsp onion powder, 1 tsp Dijon mustard, or extra fresh herbs like parsley or chives. You can also add more oil for emulsion.
Plain Greek yogurt can be used in place of cottage cheese.
Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 4 or 5 days.
President Donald Trump has the power to end a civilization. But it’s not Iran’s. It’s America’s.
As an Iranian American born and raised in the United States, I love both my homelands equally and unreservedly. But I’ve never worried more about America or less about Persian civilization.
Because even if Trump demolished every building in all of Iran and killed every living Iranian, he couldn’t come close to destroying Persian civilization. Not just because it’s thousands of years older than these disturbingly divided United States I call home, but because Iranians don’t take pride in buildings or big, beautiful bills. We take pride in the whole of Persian architecture and the Cyrus Cylinder. We are not impressed by Dr. Phil or Kid Rock or Trump for that matter. We are the descendants of the poets Rumi, Hafez, Saadi and Ferdowsi. We have no interest in being timely; we’re perfectly happy being timeless. So we don’t think in years or decades or even centuries. We think in millennia. And that’s why I’m not even remotely worried about the survival of Persian civilization.
American civilization, however, is another story. For I worry about it every day. Because I see our greatest asset as a nation of immigrants slipping away.
Like countless American immigrants, my parents came to the United States for a better life, and they succeeded spectacularly. Living embodiments of the American dream and Iran’s post-revolutionary brain drain, they both practiced medicine in Ohio for decades while raising two daughters to believe that anything was possible in America. And we did.
My sister, the smartest, became a doctor and a mother. I, the loudest, became a lawyer and a writer. By all accounts, our family is proof that America is an extraordinary country, full of freedoms and opportunities that evade so many around the world. But Trump’s America has not been kind to immigrant families like ours, who have worked hard to better this country only to feel increasingly isolated within it.
For families like ours, Trump’s bombast is ominously reminiscent of the autocracies we fled. Every time he demeans or deports our fellow Americans in service of his white, pseudo-Christian, nationalist agenda, our country and our people suffer. As eerily familiar as it feels to see the U.S. flirt so shamelessly with theocracy and dictatorship, I know this is different.
For unlike Iran, America doesn’t have thousands of years of history to reassure us that our civilization will survive. Because we are building it as we go. As a country born of genocide and built by slavery, the true patriots among us know that our greatest strength and salvation lie in our diversity. Trump’s refusal to acknowledge our history or celebrate our diversity represents nothing short of the greatest threat to American civilization since the Civil War. And his insistence on cutting funding for pretty much everything that creates and sustains a civilization — including the arts and sciences, the humanities and health care, the environment and education — doesn’t bode well for our nascent nation.
Ultimately, for American civilization to last even a tenth as long as Persian civilization, Americans must elect leaders who truly put America first. Not as some collection of embezzled real estate holdings meant to boost the egos and pockets of tyrants, but as one of the most diverse and vibrant civilizations this side of the 21st century.
For we are the descendants of Walt Whitman and Emily Dickinson, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow and Audre Lorde, Paul Laurence Dunbar and Edgar Allan Poe, Henry David Thoreau and Maya Angelou. These poets alone have given us more than enough upon which to sustain a civilization. But only if we can pull away from our screens long enough to quit thinking in seconds and 24-hour news cycles. Because to survive, Americans must stop surrendering to political hubris and cultural amnesia. To survive, we must start thinking in millennia.
Melody Moezzi, a Chicago native, is an author, attorney and activist. Her latest book is “The Rumi Prescription,” and her forthcoming book is “Maybe Let’s Not: Adventures in Deleting Delusions, Refreshing Reality, and Living Life in Real Life.”
You must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, where you don’t know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don’t know who your friends are, you don’t know what you owe anybody, you don’t know what anybody owes to you. This is a place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are and what you might be. This is the place of creative incubation. At first you may find that nothing happens there. But if you have a sacred place and use it, something eventually will happen.
JOSEPH CAMPBELL
My carrot salad became a basmati brown rice salad with steamed kale. Delicious. The dressing was cilantro sauce olive oil, vinegar and leftover BBQ sauce sesame oil and soy sauce. I added some home cooked chick peas and cranberries for sweetness. It came out so good I am doing it again.
Every time I step out for a neighborhood dog walk I find three major hazards; broken glass, dead rats and chicken bones!
“Picaresque” is an eely tag. The Spanish word picaresca came from picaro, first used in the early 1600s and which in English can mean rogue, bohemian, adventurer, rapscallion. We took picaron, the augmentative of picaro, and made the accusatory-sounding “picaroon,” a lovely synonym for “picaro” that Merriam-Webster will tell you also means “pirate,” although Picaroons of the Caribbean doesn’t have the ring it should. The picaresque novel—the term wasn’t coined in English until the early nineteenth century—has shape-shifted since its first known incarnation in Spain, the anonymously authored Lazarillo de Tormes, published in 1553. But most picaresque novels incorporate several defining characteristics: satire, comedy, sarcasm, acerbic social criticism; first-person narration with an autobiographical ease of telling; an outsider protagonist-seeker on an episodic and often pointless quest for renewal or justice.
We added this to dinner last night at it was fantastic. I had home cooked chick peas and home cooked brown basmati rice and we added my home made cilantro sauce on top (cilantro garlic oil vinegar blended). It was out of this world.
“Beautiful things grow out of shit. Nobody ever believes that.
Everyone thinks that Beethoven had his string quartets completely in his
head—they somehow appeared there and formed in his head—and all he had
to do was write them down and they would be manifest to the world. But
what I think is so interesting, and would really be a lesson that
everybody should learn, is that things come out of nothing. Things
evolve out of nothing. You know, the tiniest seed in the right situation
turns into the most beautiful forest. And then the most promising seed
in the wrong situation turns into nothing. I think this would be
important for people to understand, because it gives people confidence
in their own lives to know that’s how things work. If you walk around
with the idea that there are some people who are so gifted—they have
these wonderful things in their head but and you’re not one of them,
you’re just sort of a normal person, you could never do anything like
that—then you live a different kind of life. You could have another kind
of life where you could say, well, I know that things come from nothing
very much, start from unpromising beginnings, and I’m an unpromising
beginning, and I could start something.”
When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everyone will respect you.
―
Lao Tzu,
Tao Te Ching
― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
“There is no doubt that solitude is a challenge and to maintain
balance within it a precarious business. But I must not forget that, for
me, being with people or even with one beloved person for any length of
time without solitude is even worse. I lose my center. I feel
dispersed, scattered, in pieces. I must have time alone in which to mull
over my encounter, and to extract its juice, its essence, to understand
what has really happened to me as a consequence of it.”
“I always forget how important the empty days are, how important
it may be sometimes not to expect to produce anything, even a few lines
in a journal. A day when one has not pushed oneself to the limit seems a
damaged, damaging day, a sinful day. Not so! The most valuable thing
one can do for the psyche, occasionally, is to let it rest, wander, live
in the changing light of a room.”
My students are international adults learning to swim while learning English. They laugh when I say:
This is a dance class in a flood.
I feel like I am giving you wings to fly.
Being in the water feels like being on the moon, no gravity!
It gives me great joy to see my students go from fear of the water to blowing bubbles. A few have banished their anxiety within a few minutes. Their focus and determination is inspiring to me.
I tell my students, "We do everything 10 times, this way you can relax and become an expert." They claim I am patient but I think it's that I am excited by their rapid progress.
My advice to you is to fully offer up your messy, broken, limited, disastrous human self to the act of creation, and through that eternal alchemical sleight of hand, write a song that is new, beautiful, and awe-inspiring. And then go and do it again. Become the all-singing, all-dancing, all-human answer to this most dark and demoralised question: “This world has no meaning. Why fucking bother?”
We are seven months away from the most consequential midterm election in the history of the United States. Meanwhile, we are fighting a war. These are the structural conditions for a coup attempt in which a president tries to nullify elections and take permanent power as a dictator. If we see this, we can stop it, overcome the movement that brought us to this point, and make a turn towards something better. Timothy Snyder on Substack
The purpose of being a serious writer is not to express oneself, and it is not to make something beautiful, though one might do those things anyway. Those things are beside the point. The purpose of being a serious writer is to keep people from despair. If you keep that in mind always, the wish to make something beautiful or smart looks slight and vain in comparison. If people read your work and, as a result, choose life, then you are doing your job.
SARAH MANGUSO
So long as you write what you wish to write, that is all that matters; and whether it matters for ages or only for hours, nobody can say. But to sacrifice a hair of the head of your vision, a shade of its color, in deference to some Headmaster with a silver pot in his hand or to some professor with a measuring-rod up his sleeve, is the most abject treachery.
VIRGINIA WOOLF
If you want to write, you can. Fear stops most people from writing, not lack of talent, whatever that is. Who am I? What right have I to speak? Who will listen to me if I do? You’re a human being, with a unique story to tell, and you have every right. If you speak with passion, many of us will listen. We need stories to live, all of us. We live by story. Yours enlarges the circle.
RICHARD RHODES
Writer’s block is not the same as getting stuck. Everybody gets stuck. The myth of writer’s block may exist partly because not everybody knows how to get unstuck. Allen: I’ve found over the years that any momentary change stimulates a fresh burst of mental energy. So if I’m in this room and then I go into the other room, it helps me. If I go outside to the street, it’s a huge help. If I go up and take a shower it’s a big help. So I sometimes take extra showers. I’ll be in the living room and at an impasse and what will help me is to go upstairs and take a shower. It breaks up everything and relaxes me. I go out on my terrace a lot. One of the best things about my apartment is that it’s got a long terrace and I’ve paced it a million times writing movies. It’s such a help to change the atmosphere.
WOODY ALLEN
Zest. Gusto. How rarely one hears these words used. How rarely do we see people living, or for that matter, creating by them. Yet if I were asked to name the most important items in a writer’s make-up, the things that shape his material and rush him along the road to where he wants to go, I could only warn him to look to his zest, see to his gusto.
RAY BRADBURY
Most of us, no matter what we say, are walking in the dark, whistling in the dark. Nobody knows what is going to happen to him from one moment to the next, or how one will bear it. This is irreducible. And it's true of everybody. Now, it is true that the nature of society is to create, among its citizens, an illusion of safety; but it is also absolutely true that the safety is always necessarily an illusion. Artists are here to disturb the peace.
JAMES BALDWIN
Over the years, I’ve found one rule. It is the only one I give on those occasions when I talk about writing. A simple rule. If you tell yourself you are going to be at your desk tomorrow, you are by that declaration asking your unconscious to prepare the material. You are, in effect, contracting to pick up such valuables at a given time. Count on me, you are saying to a few forces below: I will be there to write.
NORMAN MAILER
On my walk I noticed a battery-operated cradle on the sidewalk, meant for the trash. I've been thinking about it for days. It must have been marketed for busy parents who have other things to do than rock their babies. For some reason this idea of a remote-control cradle has been haunting me. What have we lost, what have we gained? Perhaps kitchen faucets felt like a betrayal to harvesting water from a well, and driving a car left the horse and buggy behind. But I think we lose contact with important human connections by farming out certain tasks, like having someone else raise your child or walk or train your dog. Isn't part of the task of parenting about bonding, building a relationship? Even cell phones are replacing opportunities for discussion or bonding, as when driving together in the car. I often see parents on their cell phones scrolling while their child is right in front of them learning to swim. They are missing out! These moments are lost. Are people so afraid of being bored? Or are they too afraid of actually connecting?
Today we made tuna sandwiches. We mixed up two cans of tuna with homemade cilantro dressing (olive oil, cilantro, wine-vinegar, fresh garlic and salt buzzed in blender) in place of mayo. We also added chopped pickles and chopped raw onion (red or white), a splash of red wine vinegar, sweetened dried cranberries and salt. We ate this on homemade sourdough multigrain toast and a few raw carrots on the side for snacking and their beautiful color.
It was delicious!
“It is therefore of supreme importance that we consent to live not for
ourselves but for others. When we do this we will be able first of all
to face and accept our own limitations. As long as we secretly adore
ourselves, our own deficiencies will remain to torture us with an
apparent defilement. But if we live for others, we will gradually
discover that no one expects us to be 'as gods'. We will see that we are
human, like everyone else, that we all have weaknesses and deficiencies,
and that these limitations of ours play a most important part in all
our lives. It is because of them that we need others and others need us.
We are not all weak in the same spots, and so we supplement and
complete one another, each one making up in himself for the lack in
another.”
―
Thomas Merton,
No Man Is an Island
“Souls are like athletes, that need opponents worthy of them, if they
are to be tried and extended and pushed to the full use of their powers,
and rewarded according to their capacity.”
―
Thomas Merton,
The Seven Storey Mountain
“The logic of worldly success rests on a fallacy: the strange error that
our perfection depends on the thoughts and opinions and applause of
other men! A weird life it is, indeed, to be living always in somebody
else's imagination, as if that were the only place in which one could at
last become real!”
―
Thomas Merton,
The Seven Storey Mountain
― Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude
“Do not depend on the hope of results. You may have to face the
fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no
result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect. As
you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on
the results, but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work
itself. You gradually struggle less and less for an idea and more and
more for specific people. In the end, it is the reality of personal
relationship that saves everything.”
This morning, as I was sipping my coffee and watching the sunrise, the steam from the cup fogged my glasses, momentarily blocking the light. It was a perfect, quiet moment. Looking up at the sky, watching the birds catch the thermal drifts and gazing at the bare treetops, I felt a surge of genuine gratitude.
McMillan Cottom: “When people try to sell you on the idea that the future is already settled, it’s because it is deeply unsettled. I think that this promise of an artificial intelligent future is really just a collective anxiety that very wealthy, powerful people have about how well they’re gonna be able to control us in the future. If they can get us to accept that the future is already settled—AI is already here, the end is already here—then we will create that for them. My most daring idea is to refuse.”
https://www.thehandbasket.co/p/refusing-to-accept-big-tech-s-ai-poisoned-future-of-journalism
by Philip Larkin.
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
__________
“This Be the Verse” from Collected Poems, Philip Larkin, Faber & Faber, 2003.
― Leonard Cohen from the poem Good Advice for Someone like Me
“It was a splendid summer morning and it seemed as if nothing could go wrong.”
―
John Cheever,
The Stories of John Cheever
The sea that morning was iridescent and dark. My wife and my sister were
swimming--Diana and Helen--and I saw their uncovered heads, black and
gold in the dark water. I saw them come out and I saw that they were
naked, unshy, beautiful, and full of grace, and I watched the naked
women walk out of the sea.”
―
John Cheever,
The Stories of John Cheever
“Long ago when they first invented the atomic bomb people used to worry about its going off and killing everybody, but they didn’t know that mankind has enough dynamite right in his guts to tear the fucking planet to pieces. Me, I know.” ― John Cheever, Falconer