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What is the motivation of a family member enforcing a single narrative of the family? A narrative that requires upholding and perpetuating predetermined and habitual roles to the detriment of others. The answer? An unexamined life. Notice that the enforcer is the weakest link in this regard, possibly because they are the weakest link. Ultimately it's a tragedy for everyone.
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And going another step ... what is the motivation of an unexamined life?
I say ... Grief. Unmetabolized grief. Fear. Fear of losing all control from the
process of reckoning with reality, with grief.
I believe that most twisted unconscious behavior on individual and larger cultural
scales come from deferring grief. I see it as true in my own life, and in my family,
And trying to fill in the gaps with narratives that make reality seem more bearable,
which, of course, only makes things worse.
Sigh.
Big Hug to You My Friend,
++++
PS I think a lot about this very topic, and when I
observe, I’m more and more convinced that it’s about unmetabolized grief, and fear of the
grief. Individual to family to culture to nation to world.
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