The Impact of Emotional Abuse

Our internal dialogue was first learned, and referring to yourself in negative ways is reinforcing the control and hold your emotionally abusive parent, or family member, had over you to keep you submissive and compliant.

This identity was also reinforced through social shaming, as my parents would often share embarrassing stories or intimate details about me with relatives or family friends, in order reinforce their created perception of me. 

Emotionally abusive parents have a need to create a specific version of you in order to justify their behavior or reactions. Some parents will even go as far to create emotionally manipulative situations where of course you would become mad or upset, therefore proving you are the angry or over-sensitive child.

https://www.passionwriteslife.com/childhood-emotional-abuse-impacts/