Wounded Children

Years ago we were invited to a Christmas Party but when it was time to leave our neighbor had selfishly blocked us in. There was a foot of snow on the ground! We had to run around the neighborhood to find her to get her to move her car. We called my friend Jen the host to tell her we'd be later than planned and how we were blocked in. I knew this was taken as a betrayal and she never invited us over again even though we showed up.

This was ironic because she always would call me to say she was on her way to my party and never show up. But that's besides the point. Jen was raised by an alcoholic. As an adult she had to be the Alpha always in control.

I have a sibling who did the same thing. I was on the way and I was stuck on 95 in a 3 hour traffic Jam because Bill Clinton and Martha Stewart were meeting in Connecticut and there was no way I could get to my sibling's house on time. I took an exit and called to say I would have to stay at a friends in New Haven and come by in the morning.

My sibling punished me severely over this for over 48 hours and perhaps still to this day. 

35 years later i realize these two stories are identical. The wounded children were triggered and felt betrayed. It truly had nothing to do with me.