Red Blue Yellow

Suicide by cop sounded sexy. Her friend Peter jumped off the roof of Children's Museum, on Christmas. His father worked there. Her best friend Matthew overdosed on pills. Her friend Jenn's dad asked his surgeon to make it end, because he didn't want to face life with a colostomy bag. Was it really that simple. Death. She knew not to go on the bridges. Her friend Judy jumped last year. She knew that tall buildings and Ithaca waterfalls were overly tempting. But suicide by cop sounded exciting. As long as it was instantaneous she would consider it.

But what about the cops family. Some rookie cop would have to live with your ghost haunting him, her inner voice commented She would talk to Father Duncan about that. Cowardly! her mind said. Fool! Her mind screamed. Don't be a dummy, dummy. Another voice said Why not commit suicide by living well. She knew there were other options if she calmed herself and thought about it.

She dreamed she was on a blue velvet cloth at the beach wearing a red velour gown. It was a photo shoot. There was a yellow rowboat beside her on the sand. When the photographer took a break she pushed the boat into the ocean and jumped in. She rowed madly until she reached the island. Suicide by renewal, she told herself, rowing and rowing. She woke up.