chronicallyintentional

 chronicallyintentional I’ve had a dark few days. I’m struggling through endometriosis surgery recovery more and/or in different ways than I anticipated. I’ve had some extremely difficult emotional conversations with my loved ones. I learned harsh consequences of trying to take a break from certain meds. this is all falling on top of my severely burned out mental health.

I don’t plan to make a regular thing of discussing interpersonal relationships on here, but I can’t talk about this without mentioning how phenomenally my partner is moving through all of it with me. this shit is HARD, for both of us. anyone who’s either cared for an adult loved one or been through a major health event themselves knows it can be devastating. patience, communication, & making room for mistakes are crucial.

it’s also necessary to understand that even for “normal” healthy people, one person cannot be an entire support system. in illness/disability, community & support networks are vital. as someone who prefers to operate quietly alone, this is a challenge for me, especially when I need it most.

today I got to hear an old friend’s voice for the first time in years. this woman saved my life when I asked her for help 10 years ago, & we’ve been showing up for each other before & since. it’s so special that we can share in our physical/emotional health journeys together now.

she reminded me that my life matters, in the way only her fierce lioness heart can. & also why I need to show up when things are messy. there is so much beauty in healing, but most of it is raw & painful. hiding or censoring the ugly parts might make me feel more secure, but it does a disservice to myself & others who are struggling. if anything I share helps just one person, it’s worth it. no one can shoulder everything alone.