The bulldozers are coming! the bulldozers are coming!

 The landlord changed her name and left the country. 

 the 3rd floor couple tosses hot bacon grease out the window  

when they're not trying to strangle each other. 

 their balcony is sagging and they've been told it can't hold a human.

  so they moved a huge couch onto it. 

 the 2nd floor man tried to murder a young lady in the neighborhood 

 he was caught on the fire escape prying open windows.

 the first floor is looking for a new landlord, 

 I don't blame them. 

all the tenants have big dogs that never get walked. 

 Where do they go?

 Don't ask!