Posts
My demons can't swim which is why swimming is my salvation.
Tuesday, December 31, 2024
Monday, December 30, 2024
Do the Difficult Work
“Do not throw away your heart. Keep your heart. Your heart is all
that matters ... Throw away your ancestors! ... Throw away your shyness
and the anger that lies just a few inches beneath ... Accept the truth!
And if there is more than one truth, then learn to do the difficult work
-- learn to choose. You are good enough, you are HUMAN ENOUGH, to
choose!”
Sunday, December 29, 2024
Presto German Potato Salad
Lately I use Idaho potatoes, Dijon mustard, red onions, and Sriracha with the olive oil, Adobo, salt, and red wine vinegar. I have made variations of this for over 40 years!
Delicious Honey Dijon Salad Dressing
Olive oil, red wine vinegar, Dijon mustard, Adobo, honey. mix with a fork until it "blooms" (thickening) and use on salad.
“When a sentence is made stronger, it usually becomes shorter. Thus, brevity is a by-product of vigor.”
― The Elements of Style“A single overstatement, wherever or however it occurs, diminishes the whole, and a carefree superlative has the power to destroy, for the reader, the object of the writer's enthusiasm.”
― The Elements of Style
“The mind travels faster than the pen; consequently, writing becomes a question of learning to make occasional wing shots, bringing down the bird of thought as it flashes by. A writer is a gunner, sometimes waiting in the blind for something to come in, sometimes roaming the countryside hoping to scare something up.”
― The Elements of Style
Dream
I dreamed I found some old papers and parts of books from a dumpster near the public library downtown. One of the things I salvaged was the front hard cover of the book for ELEMENTS of STYLE. It was embossed with an the image of three young men walking and drinking and the illustration was from the point of view of the ground looking up at them.
Saturday, December 28, 2024
I would say that the thrust of my life has been initially about getting free, and then realizing that my freedom is not independent of everybody else. Then I am arriving at that circle where one works on oneself as a gift to other people so that one doesn't create more suffering. I help people as a work on myself and I work on myself to help people. ― Ram Dass
I practice turning people into trees.
“When you go out into the woods, and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree and you allow it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree.
The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying ‘You are too this, or I’m too this.’ That judgment mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.”
―
The most important aspect of love is not in giving or the receiving: it's in the being. When I need love from others, or need to give love to others, I'm caught in an unstable situation. Being in love, rather than giving or taking love, is the only thing that provides stability. Being in love means seeing the Beloved all around me.
―
Friday, December 27, 2024
Curious
I walked my dog downtown yesterday and my dog Romeo got his mouth on a few raw bloody steak bones in the parking lot in front of the police station. I wondered what the story was. Are the police gnawing on raw steak?
“In art, and maybe just in general, the idea is to be able to be really
comfortable with contradictory ideas. In other words, wisdom might be,
seem to be, two contradictory ideas both expressed at their highest
level and just let to sit in the same cage sort of, vibrating. So, I
think as a writer, I'm really never sure of what I really believe.”
―
“Fiction is a kind of compassion-generating machine that saves us
from sloth. Is life kind or cruel? Yes, Literature answers. Are people
good or bad? You bet, says Literature. But unlike other systems of
knowing, Literature declines to eradicate one truth in favor of another;
rather, it teaches us to abide with the fact that, in their own way,
all things are true, and helps us, in the face of this terrifying
knowledge, continually push ourselves in the direction of Open the Hell
Up.”
―
Beatles Birthday Song
Release date: 22 November 1968
Lennon-McCartney
You say it's your birthday,
It's my birthday too, yeah;
They say it's your birthday,
We're gonna have a good time;
I'm glad it's your birthday,
Happy birthday to you.
Yes, we're goin' to a party, party.
Yes, we're goin' to a party, party,
Yes, we're goin' to a party, party.
I would like you to dance, (Birthday)
Take a chachachachance, (Birthday)
I would like you to dance, (Birthday) Dance!
You say it's your birthday,
It's my birthday too, yeah;
They say it's your birthday,
we're gonna have a good time;
I'm glad it's your birthday,
Happy birthday to you.
When I'm Sixty-Four
Song by The Beatles
When I get older losing my hairMany years from nowWill you still be sending me a ValentineBirthday greetings bottle of wine
If I'd been out till quarter to threeWould you lock the doorWill you still need me, will you still feed meWhen I'm sixty-four
You'll be older tooAnd if you say the wordI could stay with you
I could be handy, mending a fuseWhen your lights have goneYou can knit a sweater by the firesideSunday mornings go for a rideDoing the garden, digging the weedsWho could ask for more
Will you still need me, will you still feed meWhen I'm sixty-four
Every summer we can rent a cottageIn the Isle of Wight, if it's not too dearWe shall scrimp and saveGrandchildren on your kneeVera, Chuck and Dave
Send me a postcard, drop me a lineStating point of viewIndicate precisely what you mean to sayYours sincerely, wasting away
Give me your answer, fill in a formMine for evermoreWill you still need me, will you still feed meWhen I'm sixty-fourSongwriters: John Lennon / Paul McCartney
“Fuck concepts. Don't be afraid to be confused. Try to remain permanently confused. Anything is possible. Stay open, forever, so open it hurts, and then open up some more, until the day you die, world without end, amen.”
― The Braindead Megaphone
“That luminous part of you that exists beyond personality–your soul, if you will–is as bright and shining as any that has ever been....Clear away everything that keeps you separate from this secret luminous place. Believe it exists, come to know it better, nurture it, share its fruits tirelessly.”
―
Thursday, December 26, 2024
What is the difference between Pareil and nonpareil?
“The ultimate Latin root of pareil is par, which is also the ancestor of the English words pair ('two like things'), peer ('one that is of equal standing with another'), and par ('an amount taken as an average or norm' or 'equal'). The literal meaning of nonpareil, therefore, is 'without peer' or 'peerless.
Fresh Dill Sauce
https://www.loveandlemons.com/dill-sauce/ (using yogurt and lemon juice)
https://www.katiescucina.com/dill-buttermilk-salad-dressing/ (using buttermilk and zest)
Turn Water into Wine
I felt like I was turning water into wine by drinking cranberry flavored seltzer out of a decorative wine glass.
Wednesday, December 25, 2024
Thin as Papadum Sourdough Crackers
We used the coffee grinder to pulverize raw sunflower seeds and added our soupy sourdough dark rye starter, poppy seeds, unhulled sesame seeds, cornmeal, whole wheat flour, oil or butter and salt.
Spread the cracker batter thin on a silicone mat using spatula and fingers. Bake at 450F for 4 minutes. Lift the cracker sheet and flip it and bake for another 2 minutes. They are amazing!
“I have a lot of faith. But I am also afraid a lot, and have no real certainty about anything. I remembered something Father Tom had told me--that the opposite of faith is not doubt, but certainty. Certainty is missing the point entirely. Faith includes noticing the mess, the emptiness and discomfort, and letting it be there until some light returns.”
― Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith
“Hope is not about proving anything. It's about choosing to believe this one thing, that love is bigger than any grim, bleak shit anyone can throw at us.”
― Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith
“You are lucky to be one of those people who wishes to build sand castles with words, who is willing to create a place where your imagination can wander. We build this place with the sand of memories; these castles are our memories and inventiveness made tangible. So part of us believes that when the tide starts coming in, we won't really have lost anything, because actually only a symbol of it was there in the sand. Another part of us thinks we'll figure out a way to divert the ocean. This is what separates artists from ordinary people: the belief, deep in our hearts, that if we build our castles well enough, somehow the ocean won't wash them away. I think this is a wonderful kind of person to be.”
― Bird by Bird
You just have to see two or three feet ahead of you.
“E.L. Doctorow said once said that 'Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.' You don't have to see where you're going, you don't have to see your destination or everything you will pass along the way. You just have to see two or three feet ahead of you. This is right up there with the best advice on writing, or life, I have ever heard.”
― Bird by Bird
“Your problem is how you are going to spend this one and precious life you have been issued. Whether you're going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it and find out the truth about who you are.”
―
That avoidance is costing you greatly
Stop NOT writing. Just do it, badly. Just write the thing you need or want to write, that you are avoiding. That avoidance is costing you greatly, isometrically, and in general well-being. So can you find one measly hour, to write, badly?
Anne Lamott
Tell your Stories
“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”
― Bird by Bird
Write toward vulnerability
“If something inside of you is real, we will probably find it interesting, and it will probably be universal. So you must risk placing real emotion at the center of your work. Write straight into the emotional center of things. Write toward vulnerability. Risk being unliked. Tell the truth as you understand it. If you’re a writer you have a moral obligation to do this. And it is a revolutionary act—truth is always subversive.”
― Bird by Bird
we need to make messes in order to find out who we are and why we are here
“Clutter and mess show us that life is being lived...Tidiness makes me think of held breath, of suspended animation... Perfectionism is a mean, frozen form of idealism, while messes are the artist's true friend. What people somehow forgot to mention when we were children was that we need to make messes in order to find out who we are and why we are here.”
― Bird by Bird
Writing and reading decrease our sense of isolation
“Writing and reading decrease our sense of isolation. They deepen and widen and expand our sense of life: they feed the soul. When writers make us shake our heads with the exactness of their prose and their truths, and even make us laugh about ourselves or life, our buoyancy is restored. We are given a shot at dancing with, or at least clapping along with, the absurdity of life, instead of being squashed by it over and over again. It's like singing on a boat during a terrible storm at sea. You can't stop the raging storm, but singing can change the hearts and spirits of the people who are together on that ship.”
― Bird by Bird
Tuesday, December 24, 2024
Breathing Exercises for Swimming in the Pool
Bob up and down to make bubbles
One of the simplest breathing exercises for swimming is bobbing to produce bubbles underwater. This is something even a beginner swimming student should be able to do.
While holding the pool’s edge in a shallow part of the pool, let your child inhale with their mouth, bob their head into the pool, blow bubbles out of their nose underwater, and come back up again. Doing this about 5-10 times in a row can help them find their rhythm when breathing underwater.
This is a great breathing exercise for kids because it allows them to get used to filling their lungs with air and then expelling that air underwater. It also teaches them that they are, in fact, in control of their breathing while they swim. source
when the body and the breathing get in sync
“For me, it’s that flow, when the body and the breathing get in sync … there’s something in my head that goes, ‘Ah, this is alright,’” he says.
EGGPLANT ASIAGO!
I am making eggplant Parmesan Nancy Verde Barr's way from WE CALLED IT MACARONI and it came out so good. The first step is to slice it paper thin and salt it to drain the moisture out of it. Then I squeezed the sliced eggplants under the weight of a full teakettle in a colander placed in my empty yellow bathtub to drain for 90 minutes to make more today. Then I pat the moisture away with a clean dish towel. The egg dipped fried in olive oil eggplant gets sandwiched between my homemade tomato sauce and topped with grated Asiago.... EGGPLANT ASIAGO!
Monday, December 23, 2024
Holiday Hours
Our Y does close to observe select holidays, so our staff can enjoy the time to relax and recharge.
Christmas Eve close at 2:00pm
New Year’s Eve close at 2:00pm
New Year’s Day 10:00am – 1:00pm
Frozen
It was zero last night! We remembered to open the secret door that prevents pipes from freezing but we forgot to also run the water. Luckily all has been restored without further incident.
If you are doing something to avoid pain, then pain is running your life.
The psyche is built upon avoiding this pain, and as a result, it has fear of pain as its foundation. That is what caused the psyche to be. To understand this, notice that if the feeling of rejection is a major problem for you, you will fear experiences that cause rejection. That fear will become part of your psyche. Even though the actual events causing rejection are infrequent, you will have to deal with the fear of rejection all the time. That is how we create a pain that is always there. If you are doing something to avoid pain, then pain is running your life. All of your thoughts and feelings will be affected by your fears.
― The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself
The Voice
The voice inside my head shouts, "We did not pay for college to have you teach swimming! We did not raise you to amount to NOTHING!" When I was 20, working at a fancy Italian restaurant as a dishwasher, my mother screamed into the phone, "You'll never amount to anything if you like washing dishes!" I still love washing dishes and I love watching the snow fall. I had a home economics teacher scream at us when we all turned our heads to watch the first snow of the season, "What's the matter, you've never seen snow before?"
My teaching of swimming was born out of an invitation which I accepted. I love the water and it is my desire to share this love; a watery valentine to all of the adults who want to learn. I can put them at ease with my smile, observations, and encouragement. I am Mary Poppins in a bathing suit, cap, and goggles, blowing bubbles. We're having a tea party underwater. Watch the bubbles. Let's try it again, again, again!
But that voice. You'll never amount to anything . . . We want to keep you caged in your room. Shut up and paint. Don't have any friends. Be our idiot savant. Stay in your room until you die. This is the picture I was raised with and ran away from. I'm still running. "Emily Dickinson wrote poems and stayed in her room until she died!" my sister reminded me when we were kids. She knew the rules of the game.
I was also invited to teach English. I love to connect. I will act out a scenario, draw a picture, put on a hat, anything to connect. I love my students and they are learning. One word at a time. It is a beautiful life. Hello Mother perhaps this is all I have amounted to. Goodbye mean Mother voice. Farewell. It is YOU who amounted to nothing but a mean memory in my life.
Sunday, December 22, 2024
German Potato Salad
I have made this potato salad for 44 years. If that's not a winning endorsement I have no idea what is. The recipe came with my Presto Pressure cooker. Today I used Dijon mustard and Sriracha! I also used Russet potatoes and red onion for color. It's cold outside (seven degrees!!). We ate the potato salad hot. It was delicious.
https://theurbanmermaid.blogspot.com/2017/08/presto-german-potato-salad.html
Teaching
This morning my car lock was frozen. Luckily my husband had a can of SUPER LUBE and I was able to open the lock and get to the pool in time to swim and teach.
I love my students. They are eager to learn to swim and we break down the elements. We start with and often return to bobbing. "Take air into your mouth then blow it out of your nose in the water. Try this, I demonstrate, dunking and breathing five times. I'm holding up my fingers counting. Okay five more, and five more. Everything else is added to this. Breathing is the most important, most basic element.
I work with my students individually and give each of them something to focus on and then I come back around to check on how they are doing. "Whoops, you're holding your breath! Let's bob again. Do five. Great. Five more! Okay back to the breast stroke."
"Excellent, much better!"
One student said, "the water is going in my mouth." I advised him, "Close your mouth just before you hit the water." It's these little details that need to get worked out if the student is to lose the natural fear. The details seem obvious, but are not to the beginner!
the gradual removal of prejudices
“Bohr proposed once that the goal of science is not universal truth. Rather, he argued, the modest but relentless goal of science is “the gradual removal of prejudices.”
― The Making of the Atomic Bomb: 25th Anniversary Edition
a great chess game played by the gods
“We can imagine that this complicated array of moving things which constitutes “the world” is something like a great chess game being played by the gods, and we are observers of the game. We do not know what the rules of the game are; all we are allowed to do is to watch the playing. Of course, if we watch long enough, we may eventually catch on to a few of the rules. The rules of the game are what we mean by fundamental physics. Even if we know every rule, however . . . what we really can explain in terms of those rules is very limited, because almost all situations are so enormously complicated that we cannot follow the plays of the game using the rules, much less tell what is going to happen next. We must, therefore, limit ourselves to the more basic question of the rules of the game. If we know the rules, we consider that we “understand” the world.”
― The Making of the Atomic Bomb: 25th Anniversary Edition
Write a Word
“If you’re afraid you can’t write, the answer is to write. Every sentence you construct adds weight to the balance pan. If you’re afraid of what other people will think of your efforts, don’t show them until you write your way beyond your fear. If writing a book is impossible, write a chapter. If writing a chapter is impossible, write a page. If writing a page is impossible, write a paragraph. If writing a paragraph is impossible, write a sentence. If writing even a sentence is impossible, write a word and teach yourself everything there is to know about that word and then write another, connected word and see where their connection leads.”
―
Richard Rhodes
If you want to write, you can. Fear stops most people from writing, not lack of talent, whatever that is. Who am I? What right have I to speak? Who will listen to me if I do? You’re a human being, with a unique story to tell, and you have every right. If you speak with passion, many of us will listen. We need stories to live, all of us. We live by story. Yours enlarges the circle.
RICHARD RHODES
I loved his memoir, A Hole in the World
Dreaming about Eggplant Parmesan
I have been haunted by eggplant the past few days. It must be the wintery weather. I bought 3 eggplants the other day and last night I made this using one.
I re-posted it from my other blog. I should name it eggplant Asiago since that is my cheese. Also I fried the last bit of egg-dip in the oil and broke it up and added it to the mix. It was divine. I used my homemade tomato sauce.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Nancy Verde Barr's Eggplant Parmesan
From my favorite cookbook: We Called it Macaroni, an American Heritage of Southern Italian cooking,
By Nancy Verde Barr
1 medium eggplant, about 1 ¼ lbs. 1 ½ cups tomato sauce
salt and pepper 4 large eggs
olive oil 2 TBSP Parmesan cheese
1. Peel the eggplant and cut it into paper-thin slices. Place in a colander, salting each layer, and place a plate and weight on top. Let sit at least 1 hour to draw out the water. Dry with paper towels and squeeze gently but firmly with your hands to remove excess liquid.
2. Beat the eggs, salt, and pepper together in a pie pan.
3. Pour a little over ¼ inch oil in to a 10 or 12 inch frying pan. Heat the oil to 375F. Working with a few slices at a time, dip the eggplant into the egg, hold up to drain off excess egg, and slide into the hot oil. Cook a few seconds on each side, removing as soon as slightly golden. Drain on paper towel or brown paper bags.
4. Layer the cooked eggplant and tomato sauce into an ovenproof shallow pan or dish. Sprinkle the cheese over the top layer and bake in a 400F oven 10 minutes. Serve hot or at room temperature.
Friday, December 20, 2024
Wednesday, December 18, 2024
Tuesday, December 17, 2024
Certain subjects just need time
I think that when you’re trying to do something prematurely, it just won’t come. Certain subjects just need time. . . . You’ve got to wait before you write about them.
Joyce Carol Oates
Monday, December 16, 2024
write it down making it clear
Remember what the noises were and what was said. Find what gave you the emotion; what the action was that gave you the excitement. Then write it down making it clear so the reader will see it too and have the same feeling that you had. That's a five finger exercise.
Ernest Hemingway
Josh Marshall
I’ve written a few times recently about Donald Trump’s ability to stake out and hold territory in the public mind, the public attention span, with threats that he likely (though not certainly) can’t make good on or won’t even have the attention span or care enough to focus on. So he’ll end birthright citizenship or he’ll jail his opponents. Or maybe not. It’s part of his ability to always be taking the initiative on that mutable and uncanny territory where media narratives and old fashioned reality become a common fabric. He acts and keeps acting and his opponents react and keep reacting.
I was reminded of a central example of this this morning, something that happened again and again in his first term. He muses publicly about his sole and unchallenged right to make some decision or choice that in practice he knows nothing about. Usually he has no right to make that choice. Often he has no ability to make that choice. The fact that he has no ability to make such a choice in any remotely informed way adds to the angst many feel hearing his comments. It’s the essence of the power, a multiple-layered onion of gaslighting and itself a factor in keeping everyone off balance. It is, and is intended to serve as, a kind of meditation and magnification of his arbitrary power, how we’re all living not just in his world but in his will.
Josh Marshall Consistency, Mind Games and Power-Plays in the Brave New World of Weird
Sunday, December 15, 2024
Thursday, December 12, 2024
Fear is the cause of every problem. It’s the root of all prejudices and the negative emotions of anger, jealousy, and possessiveness. If you had no fear, you could be perfectly happy living in this world.
Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself
Ruth Asawa: The most important thing is to be true to yourself and to create from your own unique perspective.
Art is for everybody. It belongs to all. It is not something that you have to have a degree to understand.
We live in a society where art is often seen as a luxury or an indulgence, but it is actually a necessity for the human spirit.
I found that I could express myself best through sculpture. It became my language.
The most important thing is to be true to yourself and to create from your own unique perspective.
Ruth Asawa
It’s actually a shocking realization when you first notice that your mind is constantly talking. You might even try to yell at it in a feeble attempt to shut it up. But then you realize that’s the voice yelling at the voice.
Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself
Inner Energy
The most important thing in life is your inner energy. If you’re always tired and never enthused, then life is no fun. But if you’re always inspired and filled with energy, then every minute of every day is an exciting experience. Learn to work with these things. Through meditation, through awareness and willful efforts, you can learn to keep your centers open. You do this by just relaxing and releasing. You do this by not buying into the concept that there is anything worth closing over. Remember, if you love life, nothing is worth closing over.
― The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself
Wednesday, December 11, 2024
To attain true inner freedom, you must be able to objectively watch your problems instead of being lost in them.
“To attain true inner freedom, you must be able to objectively watch your problems instead of being lost in them... Once you've made the commitment to free yourself of the scared person inside, you will notice that there is a clear decision point at which your growth takes place.”
― The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself
When you feel pain, simply view it as energy. Just start seeing these inner experiences as energy passing through your heart
“When you feel pain, simply view it as energy. Just start seeing these inner experiences as energy passing through your heart and before the eye of your consciousness. Then relax. Do the opposite of contracting and closing. Relax and release. Relax your heart until you are actually face-to-face with the exact place where it hurts. Stay open and receptive so you can be present right where the tension is. You must be willing to be present right at the place of the tightness and pain, and then relax and go even deeper. This is very deep growth and transformation. But you will not want to do this. You will feel tremendous resistance to doing this, and that’s what makes it so powerful. As you relax and feel the resistance, the heart will want to pull away, to close, to protect, and to defend itself. Keep relaxing. Relax your shoulders and relax your heart. Let go and give room for the pain to pass through you. It’s just energy. Just see it as energy and let it go.”
Your inner growth is completely dependent upon the realization that the only way to find peace and contentment is to stop thinking about yourself.
― Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself
To spend your life avoiding pain means it’s always right behind you.
“To get some distance from this, you first need to get some perspective. Walk outside on a clear night and just look up into the sky. You are sitting on a planet spinning around in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Though you can only see a few thousand stars, there are hundreds of billions of stars in our Milky Way Galaxy alone. In fact, it is estimated that there are over a trillion stars in the Spiral Galaxy. And that galaxy would look like one star to us, if we could even see it. You’re just standing on one little ball of dirt and spinning around one of the stars. From that perspective, do you really care what people think about your clothes or your car? Do you really need to feel embarrassed if you forget someone’s name? How can you let these meaningless things cause pain? If you want out, if you want a decent life, you had better not devote your life to avoiding psychological pain. You had better not spend your life worrying about whether people like you or whether your car impresses people. What kind of life is that? It is a life of pain. You may not think that you feel pain that often, but you really do. To spend your life avoiding pain means it’s always right behind you.”
― The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself
How would you feel if someone outside really started talking to you the way your inner voice does? How would you relate to a person who opened their mouth to say everything your mental voice says? After a very short period of time, you would tell them to leave and never come back. But when your inner friend continuously speaks up, you don’t ever tell it to leave. No matter how much trouble it causes, you listen.
Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself
you've been taught that you're being judged
“Instead of being encouraged to feel completely protected, loved, honored, and respected by the Divine Force, you've been taught that you're being judged. Because you've been taught that, you feel guilt and fear. But guilt and fear do not open your connection to the Divine; they only serve to close your heart. The reality is that God's way is love, and you can see this for yourself.”
― The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself
Letting go of yourself is the simplest way to get closer to others.
Imagine if you used relationships to get to know other people, rather than to satisfy what is blocked inside of you. If you’re not trying to make people fit into your preconceived notions of what you like and dislike, you will find that relationships are not really that difficult. If you’re not so busy judging and resisting people based upon what is blocked inside of you, you will find that they are much easier to get along with—and so are you. Letting go of yourself is the simplest way to get closer to others.
There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind - you are the one who hears it.
― Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself
Sauteed Green Cabbage with a twist
I stir fried a head of chopped green cabbage in a frying pan with Adobo, olive oil and soy sauce and then I added dollops of homemade hummus added afterwards. It was warm and comforting and delicious. I said to my husband, This is like a Polish Middle Eastern interpretation of Fettuccine Alfredo. It was fabulous!
We heal by acknowledging our emotions and test our heart's resilience by lingering within the unbearable.
-Nick Cave, The Red Hand Files Issue #306 December 2024
A live concert can feel overwhelming, even frightening, because its emotional power can suddenly bring our most buried experiences to the surface. But feelings are meant to be felt - that's what they are for. We heal by acknowledging our emotions and test our heart's resilience by lingering within the unbearable. It is something music can help us do. We find our hearts are much stronger than we presumed, and what we thought was unbearable was nothing of the sort. Music draws forth these subterranean feelings and simultaneously rescues us from them.
-Nick Cave, The Red Hand Files Issue #306 December 2024
Teaching Adults how to SWIM
I had the best night of
teaching swimming ... I had a 2 hour nap ahead of class. Then I went
back to my Jane Katz swim book and reread the first chapter on breathing a few
times.
In the early class the engineer and his wife are ready for the Olympics! Truly! They have put
the pieces together since October and are swimming beautiful crawl and breast stroke.
They are dedicated and have been practicing.
In the 2nd class my younger
most shy students were smiling/laughing. We worked on flip turns. They
looked like ducks fishing with butts in the air while trying to flip which caused us all to
laugh very hard.
We did lots of bobbing to reinforce the strong push of air bubbles out the nose. "NO WATER can GET IN if you blow out hard."
I believe the laughing came from hyperventilating. Sheer oxygen!
Tuesday, December 10, 2024
Home Made Hummus
6 cups (a dried pound bag) of chickpeas soaked overnight and cooked to tender, and drained (save the broth)
2 Tbsp. fresh (cored) garlic
2 cups Sesame King Tahini Paste (available at Stop and Shop)
1 cup fresh lemon juice (3-4 large lemons)
4 Tbsp water or broth from cooking the chick peas
2 tsp. salt
sprinkle of cumin
Homemade HUMMUS can be FROZEN!!! We make this large batch and freeze it in small containers.
Letters
My mother wrote to my 5th grade teacher Miss Ringle and I had to deliver it. My lovely teacher cried after being scolded on paper. After I ran away from home I was a recipient of my mother's vicious rage letters. I learned to stop opening them.
On
the other hand writing and receiving wonderful letters is the perfect
shy person's medium. I LOVE to write letters versus phone calls or
actual visits any day. I have written fan letters to artists and writers
since I was 13. (I never expect a response but I enjoy writing them).
One artist became a friend of the family and he had my letter pinned up
over his mantle the day we visited him.
I am puzzled that cursive is no longer taught in school. What is a LOVE letter without cursive?
Monday, December 09, 2024
Dreamed about Step Mother number #3.
In the dream we were talking on the phone.
I always wondered in the fairy tales why the step mothers and
fathers were cruel. In my experience the step parents and step siblings
were kind and the "real" mother, father and sister were the cruel ones.
There must be some mistake, I thought.
It will insist on being told.
Sit and quiet yourself. Luxuriate in a certain memory and the details will come. Let the images flow. You’ll be amazed at what will come out on paper. I’m still learning what it is about the past that I want to write. I don’t worry about it. It will emerge. It will insist on being told.
FRANK McCOURT
Sunday, December 08, 2024
Dream
I dreamed I was calling Lily-dog and two other yellow Labradors showed up and I snuggled them. Then I saw Lily.
Saturday, December 07, 2024
Roasted Brussels Sprouts
So simple and delicious. Halve the Brussels sprouts and mix with olive oil and Adobo and roast in a preheated 450 degree oven. Great advice about roasting. https://pajamaliving.com/roasting-vegetables/
Hauntings and Musings
My haunted thoughts come at 3 AM, or 1 AM or 2 AM if I dare to drink coffee after 6 AM or eat dark chocolate late in the day.
My worst thoughts come during the day if I have not had a chance to SWIM or scribble them away in my spittoon notebook. This is probably why I am addicted to swimming laps. It's my hydro-psychotherapy.
Keeping a rambling head-noise notebook helps too. Walking makes me smile after a short few blocks. My chemistry is transformed by motion yet I require contemplative stillness to read and write and paint.
We are complicated creatures.
I love teaching adults how to breathe correctly while swimming. Perhaps they too will find their ticket to ZEN land.
Perhaps befriending the "noise" is part of finding peace.
Last night I slept so well I didn't know my name or what day it was when I woke up.
Do it because you need to.
An English teacher — the best I ever had — once told me that the only way to write was to abandon oneself to it completely. I have tried to follow that advice. My own advice to aspiring writers is to be prepared for an often difficult, unstable, and roller coaster kind of life. Don’t do it because it sounds cool, easy, or glamorous. Do it because you need to.
MATTHEW CARR
The Kitchen is ALIVE!
This morning at 4 AM I came downstairs to let Romeo out to pee in the yard and my two gallon bucket of mixed grain sourdough (oat wheat rye corn) had risen and overflowed onto the white enamel table top. I was able to punch it down and rescue the overflow bits.
Then, back in the kitchen, my two jars of sourdough rye which I had set out on the counter to incubate overnight were bubbling over so I tipped half of each jar of the active starter into my big bucket of dough, mixed it in, and started shaping it and placing it into my 18 greased mini loaf pans. I baked the bread at 450°.
Then I made hummus in the Cuisinart from a pound of cooked chick peas, freshly squeezed lemon juice, sesame tahini, fresh (cored) garlic, and a sprinkle of cumin and salt.
I just pureed the steamed vegetables leftover from last night (sweet potato, cabbage and onion) and warmed a bowl. It was a delicious breakfast porridge. All of my international students eat savory breakfasts too.
Friday, December 06, 2024
Panko Breaded Chicken Tenders with Pressure Cooked Cabbage, Onion & Sweet Potato
I sliced skinned boneless chicken breast (from Price Rite) to make tenders. I dredged them in whole wheat flour, egg, and whole wheat Panko. I fried them in olive oil and added Adobo and Cholula. Served them on top of steamed vegetables. Sliced oranges for dessert. So good!
try homemade Panko another version here. And last but not least
a sourdough version. https://simplicityandastarter.com/how-to-make-homemade-sourdough-breadcrumbs/
alchemy of observation, imagination, and personal experience
I don’t think writers should be worried about treading any lines between autobiography and fiction. You should write whatever you want to write. Once you label it fiction, it’s fiction, even if you give the protagonist a feeling you’ve felt, or your same hometown. All fiction is born out of some alchemy of observation, imagination, and personal experience.
RACHEL KHONG
Yard Sale by George Bilgere
Yard Sale
Someone is selling the Encyclopedia Britannica
in all its volumes,
which take up a whole card table.
It looks brand new, even though it must be sixty years old.
That's because it was only used a couple of times,
when the kids passed through fifth grade
and had to do reports on the Zambezi River
and Warren Harding.
Der Fuhrer was defunct.
The boys came home,
and everybody got the Encyclopedia Britannica,
which sat on the bookshelf
as they watched Gunsmoke
through a haze of Winstons.
Eventually
these people grew old
and were sent to a home
by the same children who once wrote
reports on Warren Harding.
And now the complete and unabridged
Encyclopedia Britannica,
bulging with important knowledge,
is sitting on a card table in a light rain.
AN IMPOSSIBLE LIFE By Rachael Siddoway and Sonja Wasden
I just read this book in 2 days. I loved it.
An award-winning and best-selling memoir, An Impossible Life, tells the powerful true account of one woman’s descent into depressive and manic episodes and how she found lifesaving therapy and medication to overcome and triumph.
When thirty-five-year-old Sonja Wasden is involuntarily admitted to a psychiatric hospital by her husband and father, she is sure it is a mistake. Wife of a CEO, mother of three, living in a beautiful suburb, Sonja’s life appears ideal. How did she get here?
In this gripping and breathtaking narrative that makes the reader feel as though they are listening in on a private conversation, Sonja reveals her delusions and battles with mental illness, motherhood, and marriage. When all hope seems lost, this true story of perseverance is inspiring and unforgettable.
An Impossible Life is a lighthouse of hope and healing for all those facing an all-consuming mental illness, either for themselves or for someone they love. https://sonjawasden.com/book/
Okay Animals, BE CONSCIOUS!!!
Dialectical Behavior Therapy: DBT skills aim to help enhance one's capabilities in day-to-day life. The four skills a therapist will teach include:
- Mindfulness: This is the practice of being fully aware and focused in the present instead of worrying about the past or future.
- Distress tolerance: This involves understanding and managing your emotions in difficult or stressful situations without responding with harmful behaviors.
- Interpersonal effectiveness: This means understanding how to ask for what you want and need and setting boundaries while maintaining respect for yourself and others.
- Emotion regulation: This means understanding, being more aware of and having more control over your emotions.
Long Torso and Lap Swimming
When I received my car back from my mechanic, I had to adjust the seat as close as possible to the dashboard. This reminded me that my long torso is the reason why I am a swimmer.
Every swimmer has a balancing point in the water – known as the center of mass – and the closer it is to the center of flotation (the lungs), the easier it is for the body to float horizontally with little or no effort on the part of the athlete. Having the center of mass near the lungs is one of the main reasons why many elite swimmers have very long torsos often shaped like a triangle.
Having flexibility, especially in the shoulders and ankles, is a huge asset for swimmers and is a big asset in the search for the perfect swimmer’s body. Having flexible shoulders allows for swimmers to rotate their bodies while keeping their hold on the water in the long axis strokes. In the short axis strokes, swimmers with flexible shoulders are able to press their chest down more, thus lengthening their strokes and making them more efficient.
Eau de Chlorine
https://www.swimmingworldmagazine.com/news/10-ways-to-easily-spot-a-swimmer/
Sweatpants
This stylistic choice is a staple to the tired swimmer. Nice clothes? Who can be bothered with that when you’ve been awake for so many hours and the day is only just starting? Not some swimmers. Many swimmers can be seen out in the wild wearing their most comfy pair of sweatpants and a favourite hoodie, not caring about anyone’s opinions. I have definitely had times where I have worn the same outfit multiple days in a row, simply because it was easy and I didn’t have the energy to care.
For most people, exercise can have a positive effect on their mood. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins, which are known as the brain’s “feel-good” chemicals. Over time, higher levels of endorphins can make you feel better. This is why exercise is often recommended for people with depression. Exercise can also help you combat stress.
Thursday, December 05, 2024
You don't need Little League. You don't even need nine kids. Four is plenty-a pitcher, a batter, and a couple of shaggers. You can play ball all day long. My kids used to try to get me out there, but I'd just say, "Go play with your brothers." If kids want to do something, they'll do it. They don't need adults to do it for them. YOGI BERRA
Forgetting the Self
Zazen is not the practice of self-improvement, like a course in
making friends and influencing people. With earnest zazen, character
change does occur, but this is not a matter of ego-adjustment. It is
forgetting the self.
ROBERT AITKEN
What shall I say about poetry? What shall I say about those clouds, or about the sky? Look; look at them; look at it! And nothing more. Don't you understand that a poet can't say anything about poetry? Leave that to the critics and the professors. For neither you, nor I, nor any poet knows what poetry is. FEDERICO GARCIA LORCA
The Perfect Way is only difficult for those who pick and choose; do no like, do not dislike; all will then be clear. Make a hairbreadth difference, and Heaven and Earth are set apart. SENG TS'AN
Poem by Seng Ts’an (also written Sengcan)
I am reading this book called “Religions of Man”. It is a fascinating book and I will write the review later. I just finished up with Hinduism and Buddhism. Have another six religions to go.
This poem is by Seng Ts’an. As I was reading up about him in Wikipedia, found this amazing story of how he – well into his forties – met the monk who eventually became his teacher and gave him the name Seng Ts’an (gem monk). Their interaction (like many koans in Zen Buddhism) went something like this:
Seng Ts’an: I am riddled with sickness. Please absolve me of my sin.
Huike: Bring your sin here and I will absolve you.
Seng Ts’an (after a long pause): When I look for my sin, I cannot find it.
Huike: I have absolved you. You should live by the Buddha, the Dharma, and the SanghaAny way, the poem called “Trust in the Heart” goes the following way:
The Perfect Way is only difficult for those who pick and choose
Do not like, do not dislike, all will then be clear,
Make a hairbreadth difference, and Heaven and Earth are set apart;
If you want the truth to stand clear before you, never be for or against.
The struggle between “for” and “against” is the mind’s worst disease.
Do not try to drive pain away by pretending that it is not real;
Pain, if you seek serenity in Oneness, will vanish of its own accord.
Thoughts that are fettered turn from Truth,
Sink into the unwise habit of “not liking.”
“Not liking” brings weariness of spirit; estrangements serve no purpose.
The One is non other than the A; the All none other than the One.
Take your stand on this, and the rest will follow of its accord;
To trust in the Heart is the “Not Two”, the “Not Two’ is to trust in the Heart
I have spoken, but in vain; for what can words tell
Of things that have no yesterday, tomorrow or today.
Everyone has his own reality in which, if one is not too cautious, timid or frightened, one swims. This is the only reality there is.
― Henry Miller, Stand Still Like the Hummingbird
A book lying idle on a shelf is wasted ammunition. Like money, books must be kept in constant circulation... A book is not only a friend, it makes friends for you. When you have possessed a book with mind and spirit, you are enriched. But when you pass it on you are enriched threefold.
― Henry Miller, The Books in My Life
The only true obscenity is war.
Everybody says sex is obscene. The only true obscenity is war.
―
Tropic of Cancer
Every day we slaughter our finest impulses.
Every day we slaughter our finest impulses. That is why we get a heartache when we read those lines written by the hand of a master and recognize them as our own, as the tender shoots which we stifled because we lacked the faith to believe in our own powers, our own criterion of truth and beauty. Every man, when he gets quiet, when he becomes desperately honest with himself, is capable of uttering profound truths. We all derive from the same source. there is no mystery about the origin of things. We are all part of creation, all kings, all poets, all musicians; we have only to open up, only to discover what is already there.”
― Henry Miller
It started to feel like it could belong to us.
The Case for Staying Home (Alone!) for Christmas
When the holiday started feeling more like a duty than a delight, Katie Arnold-Ratliff and her husband decided to celebrate solo.For five years, I experienced Christmas through my windshield. I awoke at 8 a.m., dragged my then-boyfriend, Adam, out of bed, and merged us onto the 20-mile stretch of clogged interstate that would deliver us in succession to my dad's, Adam's parents', Adam's aunt's, and Adam's brother's; and finally, to my mom's for dinner. Fifteen hours later, we'd come home too cranky to do much more than collapse in front of Scrooged.
But our marriage, in 2005, emboldened us. We were a family now, and as much as we loved our relatives, we'd be damned if we'd spend one more holiday celebrating with everyone but each other. We decided to compromise: We'd make the rounds on Christmas morning but have dinner at home. Alone. When I broke this to my mom after Thanksgiving, there was a pained silence. but come December 25, Adam and I stayed strong, heading home before dark to roast a duck and make bûche du Noël. The shift was small but significant: Christmas no longer felt like a series of obligations into which our celebration could only be penciled in. It started to feel like it could belong to us.
The next year, we moved from California to New York. Too poor for cross-country plane tickets, we made our own holiday: dollar-store decorations, a few presents. We sent our parents photos of our tiny tree and snowy fire escape, and they told us they were glad we had each other to share Christmas with in the big city. We were glad, too. Our private holiday was a revelation. We sipped Champagne before noon. We dorked out on British comedy (Blackadder's Christmas Carol; The Office Christmas specials) and watched Home Alone (the irony!). We didn't go near our car—hell, we didn't go outside. Through the window we heard people piling their kids and gifts into taxis as we settled in for a long winter's nap. It was indeed the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.
It still is. Through our finances have improved, we still stay put in December. Our families don't ask about our plans anymore, but if they ever do, we'll tell them we can't wait to see them on Boxing Day, or New Year's, or in February, when New York is least tolerable. We'll tell them, too, that we're convinced everyone ought to have the right to design his or her own holiday. Neither of us can imagine trading our traditions—touring the Botanical Garden, visiting Arthur Avenue to hear Sinatra play from loudspeakers on the streetlights, making beef Bourguignonne on Christmas Eve—for crushing gridlock and gatherings at which our only contact would be an occasional wave across a crowded room. This time of year is about celebrating what matters to you most. For us, that's each other.
So if auntie Ethel wants to get rat-arsed on eggnog and then start shouting about politics
There is also the pressure to spend time with ‘loved ones’. We might despise these relatives, but have to pretend to get along with them.
So if auntie Ethel wants to get rat-arsed on eggnog and then start shouting about politics that you don’t agree with, you’re expected to just smile and let her get on with it – once again because, well, it’s Christmas.
This year, I am boycotting the whole affair. I am staying home alone, except for the company of my old dog, and not organising anything. Article
these are the thousand and one adulterants that weaken the strength of a sentence.
The secret of good writing is to strip every sentence to its cleanest components. Every word that serves no function, every long word that could be a short word, every adverb that carries the same meaning that’s already in the verb, every passive construction that leaves the reader unsure of who is doing what—these are the thousand and one adulterants that weaken the strength of a sentence. And they usually occur in proportion to the education and rank.
WILLIAM ZINSSER
Bunny, Hawk and Plates
Tuesday night just as Bill let Romeo-dog out for a quick pee, I saw a huge bunny hop out from under the bush in the small yard. He disappeared under our gate. Yesterday I saw a hawk in the tree outside my bedroom window. Was he waiting for the bunny? I noticed that he had a dead mouse in his clutches. He flew over to the nest in the tree, his nest which is also in our yard.
Romeo was eager for another walk so at around 2PM we went out the front door all the way to Precious Blood Cemetery and then on the way back we crossed the street. I spotted a broken teacup in a milk crate being thrown out but then I saw beautiful antique Japanese hand painted milk pitcher and underneath were more Japanese hand painted dessert plates. I picked them out and carried them home. By this time I was only 8 houses away. After I washed them and spread them out on the kitchen counter I said to my husband, They look like they lived here all along. They do! Why is that? He asked. They are the same vintage as our kitchen."
Dream
I dreamed I was about to eat a bowl of sliced beets and bananas. The banana slices would turn pink from the beets. It might not taste bad. It would be colorful.
Wednesday, December 04, 2024
Hell's Mezzanine
My made-up definition:
The span of November, through January holidays.
Definition. A mezzanine is an intermediate floor (or floors) in a building which is open to the floor below. It is placed halfway (mezzo means 'half' in Italian) up the wall on a floor which has a ceiling at least twice as high as a floor with minimum height.
*Language is Freedom
For me, language is a freedom. As soon as you have found the words with which to express something, you are no longer incoherent, you are no longer trapped by your own emotions, by your own experiences; you can describe them, you can tell them, you can bring them out of yourself and give them to somebody else. That is an enormously liberating experience, and it worries me that more and more people are learning not to use language; they’re giving in to the banalities of the television media and shrinking their vocabulary, shrinking their own way of using this fabulous tool that human beings have refined over so many centuries into this extremely sensitive instrument. I don’t want to make it crude, I don’t want to make it into shopping-list language, I don’t want to make it into simply an exchange of information: I want to make it into the subtle, emotional, intellectual, freeing thing that it is and that it can be.
JEANETTE WINTERSON
Tuesday, December 03, 2024
Time is a good editor
Time is a good editor — leave a poem for five minutes, five hours, five days, five weeks, five months. If it still feels right after five months, if nothing troubles me when I read it through, it will probably stay as it is. But sometimes it might take five years.
JANE HIRSHFIELD
Monday, December 02, 2024
Can You Imagine a mother that wanted you to be sick and possibly kill you, so SHE could feel powerful?
Imagine a mother that wanted you to be sick and possibly kill you, so SHE could feel powerful? This mother invented illnesses and hunted for doctors to perform unnecessary surgeries on her daughter. The story continues because the other daughter of this monster-mother is perpetuating the false the myth that all of this was necessary and is thereby holding the torch for this woman's evil behavior, continuing the desire for illness. This is my original family, the one I escaped.
Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Learning how to eat right, reduce stress, exercise regularly, and take a time-out when you need it are touchstones of self-care and can help you stay healthy, happy, and resilient.
source https://www.studenthealth.virginia.edu/well-being/well-being-guides/taking-care-yourself
Emotional well-being is a person’s ability to accept and manage feelings through challenge and change. To develop emotional well-being, we need to build emotional skills—including positive thinking, emotional regulation and mindfulness.
“Taking care of myself means making sure that what I’m doing is healthy and enjoyable. This includes a lot of taking adequate alone time to recharge but also socializing when I want to, as well as establishing boundaries. Paying attention to what I feel when I am doing certain things and being aware of whether those interactions are negative or positive for me is crucial for my well-being.” - L.F., Class of 2022
Self-Care
Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Learning how to eat right, reduce stress, exercise regularly, and take a time-out when you need it are touchstones of self-care and can help you stay healthy, happy, and resilient.
- Check in with yourself, mentally and physically. Some ways to check-in with yourself include: in-between classes finding time to reflect, journaling and meditation. You can practice mindfulness anytime, while walking, eating, or even washing laundry.
- Create a sleep hygiene routine. Try adopting a consistent bedtime, having a comfortable sleeping environment, and managing your time before bed to feel proud of the work you did accomplish. See our Healthy Sleep Guide for more information.
- Healthy phone habits/hygiene. Some ways to create healthier phone habits include: leaving your phone is a separate room or location for meals and work time, incorporating non-digital activities into your daily routine, and turning your phone on grayscale. See our Virtual Well-Being Guide for more information.
Develop a Growth Mindset
Your mindset impacts your ability to empower yourself towards success, reduce stress, and when we’re feeling good within ourselves we form better connections with others.
- Practice makes it better. An easy place to start is with gratitude, spend 5 minutes at the end of each day reflecting on the things you’re grateful for.
- Learn from your mistakes and failures. Practice self-compassion, find the lesson, and move forward knowing next time will be better because of what you now know.
- Give yourself a break. You’ll be amazed at how much better you work after 10 minutes of doing nothing.
Sense of Meaning and Purpose
This is the motivation that drives you toward a satisfying future. Cultivating a sense of meaning and purpose helps you get the most from the things you do and achieve—large and small—right now.
- Reflect on academics. Take the time to reflect upon whether or not this path is the best one for you. Ask yourself: why is this important to me?
- Reflect on your involvements. Join things that you are passionate about, rather than looking for a resume booster. You only have four years, make them count.
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