Clipped and Snipped

He was crossing the street and got hit by a Thomas' English muffin truck. He was reincarnated into a jar of  Smucker's strawberry jam. At least that's what Miss Dolores the fortune teller told me about her son Dimitri. You know her place on 5th Street near the Blue Light Diner? Legend has it that she also solved the Morris murder case from the 70's.

That just gives me a migraine, my Aunt Lucy said when I told her. All of that hocus pocus is not my thing. The world is complicated enough, she said lighting a Virginia Slims and blowing blue smoke through her petite triangular nostrils.

We live in the green leafy suburbs but Aunt Lucy pollutes just like a city bus when she visits. Aunt Lucy loves to brag about living on plain buttered pasta for dinner and just a banana for lunch with Diet Pepsi in between. A dreadful diet, I think. I believe this is why she's so weird. She might fit into size six at age sixty but she's mentally clipped and snipped like a poodle.