As a teen I had no boundaries.

My friend and I were talking about her teen daughter. Teenage tumult is terrible. It's a tornado of hormones, identity, growth, fear, desire for independence and yet fear of it. Push pull, push pull! Breathe. Hold your ground. Boundaries are good even if they cause a fight. Boundaries mean, I love you. I CARE! Boundaries mean you're talking, arguing, communicating. She may not realize it now but she will someday.

As a teen I had no boundaries. Nobody cared. I stepped out the door at 11 pm and walked a mile to my boyfriend's house. Once I left driving to New Hampshire with a high school friend (she was older and drove). All I did was leave a note on the table. No repercussions. No argument. My mother was too caught up in her own life to say anything or discuss it. 

One winter my family went to Europe for vacation and to visit my sister and Dolores, my father's former secretary. My mother flat-out told me I was not invited. You're no fun to be around, she said. Again no further discussion. I stayed home with the housekeeper. When I think of it now it's so crazy.

One summer I was locked in my parents' country house alone for 10 weeks, with the promise I could come home next week, maybe next week, no, next week. I still shudder when I think of the cruelty and damage that caused. At the end of the summer I just started walking away from their prison. I walked ten miles barefoot until my feet bled.

After that I never lived at home nor did I ever trust them again.