Bring me the Head of. . .

Price Rite sells lowfat buttermilk--and so I make a salad dressing with it for the unending heads of cabbage that roll through my kitchen. I should name them after politicians like our friends who named their pig Kissinger in the 70's.

My pal C wrote:

I have to ask ... why are unending heads of cabbage rolling in each week?

This phrase evokes guillotine-esque imagery, The Queen of Hearts screaming OFF WITH THEIR HEADS.

Which reminds me of the 'passive voice' which passive-aggressives or just pussies LOVE TO USE! :) One of my genius-level but clearly Asperger-constellation students -- female even, unusual for Aspberger's -- was absently spinning my globe which was up on the heating/cooling register forming a sort of bookshelf to her left. She was in the row to the farthest LEFT of the white-board. And her nimble little fingers caused the globe to spin faster and faster until I swear all of Africa was vomiting on South America -- poor Australia was screaming for dramamine -- Croatia is used to vertigo -- then without warning, the globe lifted up off of its base-attachment. It looked like alien-technology the way it silently rose and hovered, then made a sharp right-angle turn and shot across the room.

Everyone in this grade 7 class was startled and turned to watch the decapitated planet spin violently down the left-hand aisle -- and I asked if everyone was alright. Then I looked at my student, Ashley -- mostly to see if part of her finger stumps were bloodily affixed to the globe base.

She had guilt misinterpretation so used her passive-voice I personally taught her never to use either with her actual vocal cords OR in her writing. She said, "Mrs. G, your globe broke."

Indeed.

Anyway, your unending cabbage heads rolling in each week remind me of my decapitated globe gyrating, careening down my classroom aisle. What kind of violence has befallen you that the Queen of Hearts is ordering cruciferous decapitations and the fallout is landing hitherward?