Spring Rain

Last night I had a big revelatory cry the kind where rock beds are shifting under the soil. The last time I had one of these was when I worked with 15 year olds who had been abused. It forced me to confront the pain and blame I held deep inside about my own childhood abuse.

Perhaps baking bread and feeding the hungry has forced me to see something painful; old beliefs still held dear, that I am a horrible person. A battle deep within ensues and the result is tears of spring rain.

This morning I dreamed I was in a college where we took off our shoes before class and left them in a pile on a mat. After class I walked down the hall and realized I had no shoes on, just my stockinged feet. When I went back and hunted for my shoes I realized someone had stolen them. I said to the professor This is not the roaring eighties, we can hardly afford the basics.