Flying High or Well Trained

I told my husband I have landed on the other side of the moon. I'm in TRANSMIT. Rather than relearn the alphabet and change my routine which is so easy and tempting, I took a shower and changed my clothes just like I do on receive-mode days. The shower felt great. I feel beautiful and energetic electric in transmit. I am going too fast for everyone. "This is why I can't have friends," I said to my husband who was reading the New York Times.

"If you can practice when distracted you are well trained," is written on the chalkboard in the hall. I am distracted all the time by my head noise lows and head noise highs. I can't win. . . but I do. I will. I am educated about my condition. I am well trained in my routine. I am learning from my husband the amazing teacher how to be my best advocate.

"Use it, use it" my husband says. "It's for you, you don't have to give it all away, you don't owe it to everyone like your mother taught you. She wanted you to give it all to her and when you didn't she literally went in after it by employing surgeons to eviscerate me. Pretty scary eh?
Believe me You are well trained. You don't have to bake 19 gratiude breads for city hall today. Another day. Do your work.
He's right.

And I do have friends. I tell myself. My husband Bill is my best friend. My dog Lily is my other best friend.